Hollywood Hearts
by Bittersweetbloodbaby
Summary: When the pressures of fame and family get to be too much, Rory turns to drinking while Jess turns to the nanny. Is there any hope of returning to the happiness they knew in their youth?
1. Jaded

**So, this is my vision of what takes place six years after Lights, Camera, Action. However, I've read stories before that ended oh-so-happy, and the author chose to make an angsty sequel that completely killed the happily ever after theory. Well, I'm going to be that author, and I'm going to make Rory and Jess's relationship completely horrible, and see if they can make it work in the end. Anyway, here's the point I'm trying to make, but am probably failing at: The backstory for this story is LCA. You can read either or both, and you can treat this as a sequel OR a story with the same backstory as LCA. That way, I hope I won't upset anyone when the ending of LCA is completely overridden by the Mariano's failing marriage. All I ask is that you guys give it a chance. **

**By the way, this is going to be lit, no matter what. I may throw some other half-pairings in for the sake of having characters, but just as Tristin was in LCA without it becoming a Trory, this will remain literati. **

**And Amy Sherman-Palladino owns everything Gilmore Girls related. I wish I did. But I don't. I've gone through the five stages of acceptance, and I can willingly admit it now. So, please, don't sue me. **

The 13th floor of The Starrshallau, one of NY's most prestigious apartment buildings, was host to what had turned out to be a large, impromptu gathering. Its owners- Luke and Lorelai Danes, along with their son Matti- had initially just invited her daughter Rory, his nephew Jess, and the two's children, Jane and Riley. But it had been months since the Danes' neighbors had seen the Mariano family, and an extra twenty people had joined the party.

"I'm sorry Patty, we've just been so busy. What with my going to Boston every other week, and Jess in Canada more often than not…plus we had to hire a new nanny not too long ago, and we replaced the counters in the kitchen."

"Excuses, excuses. Your mother has missed you, Rory. We all have."

"I know, and I'm sorry. But I have a lot on my plate at the moment, and I can't drive up to New York every weekend."

"Sweetie, we told you not to move to New Jersey. It's a long drive, plus it's a landfill down there."

"Yea, Patty, I gotta go." She reached forward and hugged the woman before hurrying off to assist her four-year-old daughter. Jane happened to be the exact same age as her uncle Matti, and the two normally got along perfectly. At the moment, however, they were fighting over the last shelled peanut in the glass bowl Lorelai had placed on the coffee table, and were about to start biting and scratching. Recognizing the signs of appending conflict, Rory scooped Jane up before the catfight could ensue.

"Let's go see if Grandma has more nuts, okay?" Beaming into her mother's blue eyes, so different from her own soft brown orbs, the little girl happily rode off in Rory's arms.

Across the room, Jess watched them go into the kitchen. He automatically bounced Riley on his knee, his son having chosen to stick near Daddy with all these strange people around. Adoringly, he looked at his father through piercing blue eyes. Riley, at 18 months, looked like his mother. Jane looked like Jess. But the one thing they both had in common was that they were both beginning to get antsy.

Standing up and going to the kitchen without any of Luke's crazy neighbors sucking him into their conversations was a task he'd perfected while he and Rory had still lived in the building. They'd taken a shore house many miles away several years back, and he had yet to feel regret about the decision.

"When are we leaving?" he asked his wife without preamble as he stepped into the small kitchen. Its older furniture didn't match the glistening buildings in view from the window, but Jess wouldn't expect it to. Luke was only a maintenance man, and Lorelai's acting agency was going steady, but she didn't have any clients who matched the size of Rory's career back in her acting days.

Jersey Girls had run for six action-packed seasons before the final wrap party. Jess and Rory had emerged married (known to the media as 'Roriano'), wealthy, and household names. He had aspired to do movies, she had desired to put all that she had learned from Max Medina to use, and went into directing. Currently, she co-wrote and directed the critic and ratings darling, Streets, a job which often took her to Boston, MA, while Jess was in the process of filming Winter Dreams with the gorgeous Kirsten Dunst.

"I'm talking, Jess." He hadn't noticed, but she was in the middle of a conversation with Lane Rygalski. "Go on, what were you saying before Jess interrupted?"

"Well, I'm working on the solo record, but I keep experiencing lack of inspiration, so the guys are helping me. I'm trying to keep their influence to a minimum though, because this is supposed to be about ME, not them. Lane Rygalski, unplugged, without the question 'would Kurt Cobain have approved' coming into the equation with every potential track."

"Ror," Jess said in a warning tone. She held up a finger to lane to signal a pause in the talk, and turned to Jess.

"Yes, honey?" she asked sweetly.

"It's late. When are we going?" Riley reached out to play with his mother's long, reddish-brown hair. In the past several years, she'd grown it out, dyed it, crimped it, added bangs, and eventually achieved the Marianne Faithful look it currently rocked. Jess, also, had abandoned coiffed grooming when their job portraying teenagers had run its course. His black hair was longer and messier, although on days when he was working it was secured into the perfect Jazz age style by liberal amounts of gel.

"I was thinking in about ten minutes, but if you're not okay with that, I'm sure we could work something out." He pulled Riley's hand back towards his own body.

"Ten minutes. If you're late, you can hail a cab." He left the kitchen as Lane stared after him with an open mouth.

"Is he feeling alright?"

"He's feeling fine. Why?"

"I don't know, he just seemed a little cold. And you seemed a little cold back. Is something going on?"

"No, nothing's going on," Rory answered, sounding truthful.

"If you say so."

"I do. So, tell me more about this solo album, missy, before schnicklefritz out there gets even more fidgety."

"I can't believe this is the first time I'm filling you in about it; you never come see us anymore! There are so many people who would love for you to bring the kids and just crash here for a few days, everyone would offer you their guestrooms."

"I would love to Lane, but I'm so booked for the next few months, it's not even funny. So, back to the album. Are you planning on doing a tour for it?"

"I don't know. See, Dave and I decided that once we hit the two-year mark on the anniversary chart, we'd start talking about babies. And that's approaching at light speed, so I don't know what my status for jumping around with a guitar six months from now will be."

"True. Just don't let Dave decide for you- if you want to tour, tour. If you want to rush ahead with the baby having, do that."

"Okay, I guess that's good advice. Thanks."

"No problem. I gotta make the rounds before I leave, so it was nice talking to you."

"You too!" They shared a hug before Rory took Jane's hand and led her back out into the living room.

"Rory, sweetie!"

"Hi Babette."

"Oh, Doll, don't tell me you're headin' out already." Babette put her hand over her heart to emphasize her point.

"I'm really sorry Babette, but Jess has an early morning tomorrow, and I need to get the kids home and in bed anyway." Babette sniffled. "Oh, don't cry. I'll visit soon, I promise."

"But it's not enough."

"Aw, Babette." Rory moved forward to hug the woman just as she had with Lane and Patty, not being able to think up another way to comfort them. She wasn't very good at comforting people, so when she withdrew her arms, Babette didn't look any better.

"I'll call you." She quickly circled the room, giving more hugs and goodbyes. Some of the people, such as the Gleasons and Morey, she hadn't even gotten to talk to yet. But Jess hung in her vicinity, so she made her farewells quickly. Everyone around her seemed pained at her departure, but she herself was somewhat impartial. All she could think about was the object in her purse. She had heard its call the entire night, but been caught up in chatter with her former neighbors and friends. Once they left, it would be a different matter.

Her mother handed her expensive, beaded, soft blue coat and matching purse to her, and she took them with a sad smile. She truly did miss Lorelai, even though she pretended not to for both their sakes. They'd lived together Rory's whole life, until Lorelai married Luke. Even then, they were only three floors apart. Now there were miles in between, and it hurt. But it was just the way things had worked out, and anyway, Lorelai had been excited when she saw the house they were buying. Big and white, within walking distance to an east coast beach (white sand, beautiful green waves), and extremely fancy-schmancy. So she was proud of her daughter, and happy that she'd risen to a position where she and her husband could afford to buy the house. Somewhere along the line, that translated into acceptance of the physical distance between them.

Jess carried Riley, Rory carried the diaper bag full of toys, books, and its namesake, and Jane walked quietly alongside her parents. Rory blew her mother a kiss as she stood in the hallway before the elevator doors dinged shut, and they were on their way down to the parking garage. They'd spent most of the ride up arguing about Jess's decision to take the DeSoto rather than the SUV, but now she was rather glad to find the unique car straight away instead of searching among dozens of identical vehicles for the larger, but more standard one. In unison, they each buckled a child into their car seat, closed the back door, opened the front, and slid in their respective seats. Jess drove, Rory rummaged around in her purse for the flask she'd stashed there before they left.

"We're not even out of the garage, Rory." She took a long drink before making a face and turning to face him.

"I didn't even drink on the way up, give me a break."

"J-a-n-e is watching you," he scolded her, trying not to catch their daughter's attention.

"I'm just drinking Kool-Aid," she shot back with a smirk.

"Oh, they make it in vodka flavor now?"

"Cut me some slack, I had a hard day. Too many people, too little personal space. And it's not like you made things any easier."

"I behaved, leave me alone."

"Yea, you made a real effort to talk to people. And since Riley hung on you the entire time, his social skills are probably stunted by now."

"Hey, just drink and go to a happy place."

"Why, when b-i-t-c-h-i-n-g at you is just as fun?"

"I still can't believe you managed to make nice to your mom and all those people. You're pretty damn jaded, Rory Gilmore."

"It's Mariano, or did you forget that you're married yet again?"

"I turn the TV on, I see Gilmore," he bit, referring to the name she directed under.

"I turn on the TV, I see you making out with Scarlett Johansson," she retorted, referring to his most R-rated movie yet, The Perfect Suicide.

"It's a job, Rory. We are not having this conversation again."

"Whatever. I don't care." She took another long drink, and made another face. Even though she was at the point where rehab probably couldn't hurt, she'd never acquired a taste for the liquid.

They drove in silence that was neither comfortable nor awkward. It just was, just like they were, just like their lives were. Not entirely pleasant, but the thought of change never seriously occurred.

It wasn't until they'd driven down their long driveway and carried their sleeping children to bed that they spoke again.

"Are you coming to bed?" She asked it not seductively, not exasperatedly. It was just an honest inquiry, one that would let her know whether or not she could sprawl out freely in their king-sized bed.

"Yea." She moved for the liquor cart as he answered, fixing herself her normal nightly drink. After a minute, she remembered he was in the room, reading the day's paper as he reclined on the wrap-around couch. "You want something?"

"I'm good, thanks." She shrugged and picked up her glass, moving towards him. She picked up a copy of Newsweek, and flipped through it. Finding an article she deemed as worth reading, she sat down next to Jess's feet, and the sock-covered toes gently grazed her side as she drank and read.

"I thought you were going to bed," he asked her twenty minutes later. Looking up with a start, she nodded and stood up.

"Got distracted. There was an article on some war movie with Paris Gellar, and I got curious." She flipped the offending magazine back onto the table, where it landed with a satisfying thwack.

"How is the old girl doing?"

"I don't know; the article didn't have anything personal, and I haven't seen her in over a year." She headed for the stairs, leaving her glass on the coffee table. Jess sighed and refrained from calling after her to remind her that their maid, Kathy, wasn't working tonight. Instead, he finished his own reading and took the glass to the kitchen to rinse it out himself. As he did, he took a gentle whiff of it, and recoiled swiftly. Her nightcaps were getting stronger and stronger, this being proof. He wasn't even sure when they'd started, but knew he was part of the problem.

As he climbed the stairs, he tried to remember when she had started with the heavy drinking. Maybe around the time when she'd walked in on him with Shane? But no; the habit had been present even then.

When he reached their bedroom doorway, he stood silently on the verge of entering, staring at the woman lying in bed with the hall light falling softly across her body. She'd changed into one of the little silk nightgowns she loved wearing, and was already under the covers on her side of the bed. Her hair was spread across her pillow, and he could see the tattoo on her left shoulder blade. 'Jess', it said, in a casual cursive font, with blue lilies below it. He remembered the night she'd gotten it, and squeezed the life out of his poor hand as the tattoo artist carved into her flawless skin. He had a matching one, 'Rory', in the same font and the same place. The only difference was the crimson roses underneath.

He brushed his teeth and changed into his flannel pajama bottoms before climbing into bed next to Rory. The smell of alcohol assaulted him, and he winced before setting the alarm, and sinking down into the mattress. Sleep captured him about ten minutes later, and he fell into an easy, dreamless state where nothing particularly mattered to him. Not Rory, not the kids, not work, not Mina, nothing. The only time when he was completely at peace, sadly, he wasn't even awake to enjoy it.

**GAH! I even explained in the author's note at the end of LCA that if Hollywood Hearts' developments made you mad, not to read it as a sequel! People still bitched at me for ruining the ending, even though they hadn't seen a word of the story. Guys, I love your support, but I gave you a way out. If you don't like it, I encourage you to 'X' out of this page. I don't want your whining in my review box. I gave you a happy ending, let me play with my characters now. This might just yet be a happy ending too. **

**And a very happy Halloween, my pretties! **


	2. Casa de Mariano

**satelliteblues21 – I have a little confession to make. I don't know which reference you mean, though I probably would recognize it if you pointed it out. It was an unintentional quote. **

**f4ll3n – Aren't they phenomenal? I got to see them in February, and it was bloody AMAZING. **

**Disclaimer- I do not own Rory, Jess, or Winter Dreams. And I'm going to be tossing out real actor's names for the sake of making it seem like Jess actually is a 'movie stahh', so keep in mind that I don't own Kirsten Dunst and co. **

"Where's my blue tie?"

"Why do you need a tie?"

"I don't know, I'm just thinking that I should be prepared for anything."

"You're not taking a suit, why do you need a tie?"

"I have a dress shirt, and incase I get invited somewhere that requires nice clothing."

"Fine. Take the tie."

"Thank you for your permission, oh wife-of-mine. Where is my blue tie?"

"Probably hangin' with its homies in the closet." Jess stopped frantically folding clothes for a second to look up at his wife. Rory was sitting up in bed, yawning, with a cigarette in one hand, the remote in the other, and a glass of wine sitting on the nightstand.

"Please turn of BET right now." She giggled in a very drunken way, and continued her channel flipping. One of her nightgown straps slipped down her shoulder, dangerously close to revealing all, but she didn't seem to notice. She was happily ensconced in an effervescent world, being in a happy-drunk mood, and oblivious to all but the TV and occasionally her husband.

The fact that it was currently 6:12 AM did not stop her drinking or his packing.

A few minutes later, she was standing up to pour herself another glass of wine from the bottle on the dresser as Jess warred with his suitcase zipper.

"I don't have anywhere to be today, right?" He nodded affirmative, while not actually knowing the answer. "Goody." She took instead the bottle, and brought it back to bed with her.

"Okay, that's it. Suitcase packed, suitcase closed, Rory wasted. I do believe that means it's time for me to go."

"When are you getting back?"

"Friday. Kiss the kids bye for me?"

"Sure thing. Oh, Spongebob."

"Can I kiss you goodbye?" She hesitated, obviously thinking hard.

"Am I mad at you?" He smirked.

"Can't remember?"

"Answer the damn question."

"Nah, you're not mad at me." She nodded as he approached her, bent over, and lightly pecked her lips.

"Bye-bye."

"Bye-bye. Now go back to sleep, I'm sorry I woke you up." She shrugged, having already forgotten the tantrum she'd thrown when their light turned on at 5:30.

He dragged his suitcase down the stairs, and the driver waiting patiently in the front room took it with a stern nod. Yawning, he made his way to the kitchen where their maid, Kathy, was making coffee in her housecoat.

A sweet-tempered, middle-aged woman, Kathy was the one to oversee the household and report back to him while he was gone. Rory couldn't be trusted; she was a workaholic or an alcoholic, depending on what day it was. She was either absent physically or mentally almost all of the time. So Kathy could be counted on to clean up Rory's messes, wake the dazed lady up on time, pay and oversee the gardener, and keep an eye on whatever nanny they currently employed. They'd hired Kathy upon first moving into this big, beautiful house five years ago, originally only part-time. But she'd become a good friend, as well as proved herself to be a trusted employee in a world of snakes, and she now lived with the family.

Their other live-in employee, the nanny, was a different story. When Jane was born, both parents were already hardworking people, and though they'd tried to juggle work and parenthood, by the time she reached her first birthday, it was evident that another pair of hands was needed.

The first nanny had been Shane Montgomery, a fiery little blonde whose credentials had greatly impressed the Marianos from the start. Several less dignified occupations might have been more appropriate for the promiscuous girl, but no one could deny her gift with children.

After Shane had come Jenna, a lovable brunette who adored Jane…but wasn't attentive enough to keep her from tumbling down the stairs.

And then there was Mina, their current nanny. She wanted to be an actress, but had (smartly) thought to find employment before running around New York, looking for acting opportunities. Sadly, she wasn't a very good actress…just another pretty face from a small-town who thought she had more talent than she actually did.

Kathy had stayed longer than the three of them put together, so not only did the Marianos trust her to keep an extra eye out for the kids, she knew everything going on under their roof. Secrets that would have earned her millions in talk-show royalties. But she didn't tell, if not only because she was a good woman, but because she cared about her employers. Unmarried and a single child, she didn't have many family members to look after, and none of her previous jobs had lasted as long as this one. She was loyal to the family.

"Kathy, make sure that the Missus doesn't spend too much time with the kids if she's going to be slobbering drunk all day."

"She's already at it?" Kathy clucked her tongue. Now that she was treated as an honorary member of the family, she dropped the prudish servant formalities. She talked to the Marianos like they were her own children, though she was always careful not to intentionally tread on their bad sides.

"I guess she's free today."

"Yes, but not tomorrow. She's got to get her butt out of bed before the sun, and drive up to Boston tomorrow." He winced.

"Do what you can to make sure she's not too hung-over."

"I plan on it."

"Thanks Kathy. Is Mina awake?"

"Did you tell her what time you were leaving?"

"I don't remember."

"I'd say she's awake, and more than likely will be disappointed if you don't say goodbye." She handed him a travel mug of coffee and two warm poptarts wrapped in a paper towel as she spoke.

"Guess I'd better go see her. See you Friday, Kathy."

"Be good, Jess." He wiggled his eyebrows as he backed out of the swinging kitchen door, and made his way past the anxious driver.

"Did you bring my stuff to the car?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Hang tight then, I gotta go take care of something." Strangely enough, while the man felt it a crime to speak impolitely to his client, he thought nothing of rolling his eyes.

He made his way upstairs again, and to the other end of the hall where his and Rory's bedroom was located. A nursery and a little girl's room, each displaying the room's owner's name on a hand-carved sign on the door, a bathroom, and a smaller bedroom took up this wing of the house. He set his breakfast down on one of Rory's annoying little decorative tables in the hallway, and knocked on Mina's door.

"Come in," the 22-year-old's voice greeted him. He opened the door and entered into the waiting arms of the honey-blonde girl. "Hey there."

"Hey. I'm leaving, thought you might be awake."

"And you wanted a goodbye kiss?" He kissed her at that moment, not bothering to give an answer.

She backed him against the now-closed door, taking her time lapping at his mouth. She became more frantic as the seconds passed, until it was as if she'd never see him again.

"Mina, I'll be back on Friday." The words were somewhat garbled by her tongue, but she got the message, and backed off.

"Right. Sorry." She blushed when she realized exactly how forward she'd been, a gesture of innocence that reminded him of Rory a few years ago. He could still coax the same bashful response out of his wife if he tried, and if it was a good day for her. A little alcohol in her system would normally help as well; touching him seemed to be almost out of the question when she had her wits about her. But often, instead of trying and possibly failing, he'd go right for Mina's room.

"Okay. So I'm off." He left the room, closing the door behind him, and picked up his breakfast again. He couldn't resist peeking into his son's room, but once he had assured himself that Riley was sleeping soundly, he went back downstairs.

The car that had been sent for him was nice- he could close the divider between him and the driver, lay back, and watch reruns of The Office. As he crossed his arms behind his head to use as a pillow, he thought ahead to the movie he would be working on as soon as he got off the plane in Canada. Winter Dreams, based on the story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, about a gorgeous girl named Judy Jones who had a dozen admirers revolving around her, but refused to limit herself to just one. He was playing Dexter, the narrator, who believed himself to be different from Judy's other men.

Later on in the story, when Dexter had finally accepted Judy's inability to have a monogamous relationship, and gotten engaged to another girl, he ran into Judy again. Forgetting his fiancée, Judy's old habits, and the obstacles that had existed between them, he went back to her without a second thought.

Jess could draw parallels between Fitzgerald's tale and his own life. Rory, his wife, had her own demons. He had other things going on for him- his work, his children, and his distractions. And most of all, they had a history both good and bad together. But he was most like Dexter in that Rory would stay first and foremost in his heart no matter what happened. And if she'd let him, he'd come crawling back whatever the consequences, no matter how much it caused him to hate her.

And, like Judy Jones always did in the end, Rory kept pushing him away every time he made the effort.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Where're my babies?" Rory slurred as Kathy walked into the room. Ignoring the younger woman's question at first, Kathy began to open curtains, turn of the TV, and pull the covers off Rory's frail body.

"I brought you water, aspirin, and Kraft. It's currently four in the afternoon, your 'babies' are with Mina on the play set outside, and it's time for you to get up and greet the day." Rory blinked as Kathy helped her sit up, and pushed a breakfast tray in front of her.

"Did Jess leave yet?"

"Several hours ago."

"Oh. Did he find his blue tie?"

"I don't know. I'm not feeding that to you, just so you know." Whining and rubbing her eyes, Rory unscrewed the cap from the water bottle.

"Where did you say Riley and Jane were?" She swallowed the headache medicine, and made a face at the macaroni in front of her. It didn't smell very appealing at the moment; but when you're on the verge of throwing up, nothing really does.

"Playing out back with Mina. Last I saw she was pushing Riley in that confusing little 'Tot Swing!' and Jane was in the sand box. Don't think you're not eating that." Instead, Rory pushed the tray to the floor as she ran to the bathroom. Sighing, Kathy began to clean the mess up, as the sounds of Rory being sick serenaded her from the bathroom.

"Do you need anything, sweetie?" No answer. She left the room to find a product to scrub the cheese out of the carpet, making a mental note to tell Jess about the reoccurrence of this frequent incident when he called sometime in the next few days.

Meanwhile, Rory sank down onto the cool bathroom floor, her hand searching wilding for the little flushy thing on the toilet. Finally, after what felt like hours of searching, she found it. She'd spent the early hours in a giddy mood, and now that she'd had more to drink, slept some of it off for hours, and purged everything from her stomach, that switched to a bitchy-drunk mood. This frame of mind, while making her more active and seemingly normal, prompted her to be the cold, heartless shrew Jess often felt she was.

She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and added jeans to the skimpy nightgown. Kathy was returning as she left, and had a sad look on her face as she watched Rory walk past her and head for the back staircase.

The sun hurt her eyes, but it didn't stop her from crossing the backyard and heading for the girl taking care of her children. Mina Saunders stopped digging through the sand box to look up at the woman approaching her, looking every bit the Hollywood actress: messy-but-stunning hair and makeup, sexy clothing, wavering slightly from side to side in her walk, and a thousand-dollar pout on her lips.

"Mrs. Mariano, good afternoon!" She beamed up at the mother of her charges, hoping her admiration for her employer would be conveyed in her smile. Rory didn't look pleased at the compliment.

"Get away from my children." Recognizing the signs of bitch-Rory, she hurriedly bade goodbye to Riley and Jane, and entered the house. She went through the empty kitchen, wondering where Kathy was. She liked the woman's mothering, even if Kathy didn't seem to like her back. She couldn't imagine why, though. She'd never done anything bad to her.

As she thought this, Rory settled down on the grass near the sandbox.

"Mommy, you like the castle?" She bestowed a dazzling smile upon her daughter, and opened her arms for a well-deserved hug.

"It's beautiful, Baby Jane."

"Me, Mommy?"

"You're both such architects! Let's go get the camera so we can take pictures! We'll show them to Daddy when he comes home." Eagerly, Jane led her inside the house, while Riley toddled along happily after his mother and sister.

Bitch-Rory had faded quickly, as it always did. Maternal-Rory was now in her stead, and only the people who knew her well could keep up with her changing personalities.

Because she'd grown comfortable with shutting people out, the only people in the position to know her well were Marty, Kathy, and Jess.


	3. At the Airport

**satelliteblues21 – Ah! The Desoto! I'm not a car freak, I don't really even like cars. But that is one gorgeous car, and yes, I fell in love with it when Spike drove one. **

**So…good episode, eh? Of course, I'd have liked more of Jess, and I've gone from being 'Impartial' about Logan to 'Blech'. I was a basket case earlier today, looking forward to the episode, and now I almost as eagerly await the dozens of fics sure to spring from tonight's episode. Those of you who are just joining us ex post facto…Balalaikas! **

"Rory, Madeline's wings are falling apart."

"Get Joan on it, I don't now jack about feathers."

"Rory, props are missing from the police station set."

"Make an announcement telling everyone that if they return them, they won't get it trouble. In case they don't turn up, raid the prop closet, and have someone ready at Staples just in case."

"Rory-"

"Know what? Rory has to take a 5-minute break now." Hurrying away from the assistants scurrying around her, she made a beeline for the only friend she had in this frenzied place.

"Marty! I has a headache!" She burst through the crowd of actors and crewmembers to collapse into the arms of her co-writer and director.

"Guys, lay off Rory, alright? I don't think she's the only person qualified to make these decisions, so try solving a problem yourselves for once." The crowd of people ceased their screaming and walked away muttering.

"You're an angel, did you know that?"

"I did not. Speaking of angels, Madeline's wings are falling apart." She detangled herself from his arms to smack his chest. "Sorry, bad joke. Did you tell them to talk to Joan?"

"Yes. I don't see why they didn't go to her in the first place." The co-directors linked arms and began walking towards their set.

"Someone's grumpy."

"Someone was puking the entire contents of her stomach out less than twenty-four hours ago, bile included."

"Gross. Hey, I have an idea- drink a little less."

"Can't- I think Jess is stickin' it to the nanny again." Marty put his arm around her again to lend comfort, without actually having to respond to her comment.

He'd grown up wanting only one thing- to be a director. Not an actor, not a producer, a director. He was very into the technical stuff, and he wasn't a half-bad writer either. In college he'd studied everything directing related, tried his hand at a few campus soaps, and written, cast, and sometimes filmed a few pilots for fun. Because he didn't have much money even without the absurd costs of film and actors, he'd been forced to take a year off before his senior college term, and had returned three years ago to get the remaining credits required to graduate.

That had been the year he met Rory Gilmore, one of his favorite actresses. The Jersey Girls director, her hero Max Medina, had gotten her into directing the last year or so, and she was taking a few classes herself before diving in as a director and possibly a writer. It was a monumental year, but not because they'd gotten together or anything. She was head-over-heels for her new husband, the handsome Jess Mariano, and he was still reeling from the initial 'dude, I think I'm gay' shock. But they'd become close friends, and somewhere along the line, one of them had decided to write a script together for fun, and see how far it could fly.

Streets. Something fun, something fresh, something the world had never seen before. The show was set on the streets of Boston, about a handful of street performers who led extremely dramatic lives. Murders, relationships, mysteries, and friendships, while dealing with money troubles, annoying tourists, and the even more annoying police force. They wrote it together, they directed it in shifts, and they were able to sell it to the same network that had bought Jersey Girls before Rory was a household name. The only person she'd taken with her from said show was Madeline Lynn, their leading lady, who played Annelise, the human statue. Also in the mix were a clown, a stuntman, a painter, and a few musicians.

So, more than two years later, they worked together, had a hit TV show, and talked about everything going on in both of their lives. Which for him meant his cute boyfriend Brad AN- THE Brad, from Chilton, and for her meant the hours she spent lying in bed crying about Jess. Marty wasn't a big fan of her husband anymore, but he'd learning that ragging on the man usually upset Rory.

"Look, I don't wanna say anything bad about Jess, but this is the third girl, Rory. That you've told me about." His words made her feel significantly dirtier, but it didn't stop her from responding.

"Maybe he's not, I'm just saying that I've noticed some potential sneakiness."

"Have you confronted him about it yet?"

"No."

"Well don't you think you should?" He loved Rory, but she wasn't the best at sticking up for herself.

"No."

"No?"

"No. Look, I know Jess and I aren't really the super duper couple E! makes us seem like, but we're still good. We have a good rhythm, with the kids and the house and work and stuff. Changing it would screw everything up."

"Rory-"

"Marty, I'd love to continue this conversation, but we really should get back to work. Standing here, in the corner of half a police station, talking about my husband can wait for later. Like after work. At a bar." He backed off, recognizing the normal signs of Rory crawling into her denial shell. But she didn't really deny it so much as turn a blind eye to her husband's running around. Even in the rut the two were currently in, Rory had never considered being unfaithful- she coped with alcohol, or in a pinch, simply refusing to think about it. Jess coped with Shane, and possibly Jenna and Mina. Rory didn't know if it went beyond those three, and she pretended like she didn't care.

So Marty listened to her describe, day after day, what Jess had said, and what she'd said back, and what he'd done because he didn't want to be near her, and how much she'd drank in her anger, and who he'd done out of retaliation. It was a vicious cycle, one that Rory, though she wasn't the cheater, didn't help. If anything, she made it worse. But whenever Marty tried to offer his advice, she closed up. Said they'd make it through, said they were happy enough with the situation, said that she knew he loved her, but was banging the nanny because Rory wouldn't let him touch her most of the time.

He loved his girl, but she was killing herself. The only problem was, he didn't know what to do.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

A photographer snapped her picture as she hurried past him, her long, model-like legs moving quickly over the checkered floor of the airport. She pushed Riley's designer stroller before her, and constantly looked over her shoulder to make sure Jane was keeping up.

"Daddy's plane should be landing, let's pick up the pace, Jane." Unfortunately, the movie star's daughter had insisted upon 'dressing up' to go to the airport, and her too-big heels and flowing cape caused her to continuously trip. Rory rolled her eyes. From now on, Mina did NOT have the final say in clothing.

They got to the lounge for Jess's gate, but found that the plane was still coming in. Sighing, Rory sat down and coaxed Jane into the seat beside her. As she was rummaging through the leather diaper bag for cheerios, her phone began to ring. Handing the bag over to Jane, she plucked the phone from her Prada bag, checked the caller ID to make sure it wasn't some freaky person, and flipped it open to talk to her mother.

"Hi Mom."

"Hello favorite daughter, what's up?"

"The kids and I are waiting for Jess at the airport."

"Sounds like fun. Hey, what are you doing this weekend?"

"Well, Marty and I are planning on going up to Boston by ourselves. Checking out the real performers, having some tasty old-fashioned Italian Pizza, and staying in a ritzy hotel with the softest beds known to man while typing away furiously on our laptops."

"Didn't you buy one of those beds?" Lorelai asked suspiciously.

"Well, yea. But there's still novelty in sleeping at a hotel."

"Uh huh. So what does Jess say about you and Marty sharin' a room whenever you hit Massachusetts?"

"Well, he knows Marty's not like that, so it's never been an issue."

"Okay. Well, if you're busy, never mind," Lorelai responded rejectedly.

"I might be free next weekend-wait, no." She scanned through her palm pilot as she spoke. "Okay, weekend after next. What do you want to do?"

"Oh, I'm kinda going to Philly for talent scouting then." Rory sighed.

"I hate being so busy."

"Ditto." As she slipped her palm back into her purse, she saw people begin to get off the plane and come into the airport.

"Mom, I'll call you later to talk about when we can get together. I gotta go now, bye."

"I love you."

"I love you too." She hung up as Jane squealed 'Daddy!', and sure enough her scowling husband was making his way over to them.

"Hey there Princess," he greeted as he scooped Jane up into his arms and kissed her nose. She giggled as he dropped his carry-on at Rory's feet and bent over to kiss Riley's head. "Little man." Once he was done with the kids, he turned a questioning eye on Rory for the first time.

"Let's go before we get mobbed," she answered his look, standing up and taking his bag. She walked ahead of them as Jess pushed Riley's stroller and continued to hold Jane on his hip. The little girl happily told him about the picture she'd painted while he was away, neglecting to mention that her canvas had been the bottom half of the playroom wall, and how much trouble she'd gotten in from all three women in the house.

"…And you're standing in a tree, and there's a birdy in the tree."

"I'm in the tree, or under the tree?" She thought.

"Udder." Jess cracked up as Rory's phone rang again, and she grudgingly answered it after seeing it was Joan, the Streets wardrobe manager.

"Rory Gilmore." She could feel Jess's eyes burrowing into her back, and she squired uncomfortably. She'd always been a little reserved about giving up her last name- it had meant a lot to her mother to name her Gilmore, and not Hayden. She'd legally taken Jess's last name when they were married, but everything work-related still had her using Gilmore.

"Rory, catastrophe! We couldn't find another pair of vintage leather pants for Stephanie to wear!"

"What's wrong with the pair we currently do have?"

"There is a giant stain on the crotch. I don't know how, I don't know why, and I don't know what in the world was going through Lacey's mind when she picked them up, but we cannot use them."

"Then find some non-vintage pants." There was silence on the other end. "Joan, I know you're an 'artist' and all that, but no one will be able to tell the difference."

"But you promised me vintage," Joan whined.

"Joan, either skip the vintage, or find something else for her to wear. I'm the director, you're the wardrobe chick- this isn't my job. And before you call Marty, it isn't his job either. So make it work!" She hung up, taking great satisfaction in the smacking noise the phone made when she flipped it shut. Everyday, she was giving Max more and more credit for putting up with the entire cast and crew single-handedly for six long years. She had a partner to help fend off some of the stupidness, but Max had written and directed every single episode by himself. No wonder he'd always been so stressed.

"Everything alright there, Ms. Gilmore?" Jess drawled from behind her. She whirled around to face him and plastered a peachy smile on her face.

"How was Canada, honey?" She walked backwards as she spoke, hoping she didn't crash into anyone. That would be an interesting tabloid headline. 'Rory Gilmore mauls innocent bystander at airport!'

"Still there."

"And how was shooting?"

"Went smoothly."

"Anything interesting happen there?"

"Same-old same-old."

"Good to know." She was about to turn around when she felt something solid against her back, and before she knew it, she was down.

In the blink of an eye, Jess had braked the stroller, put Jane down, and was at her side, pulling her to her feet as the lady she'd crashed into scowled at the couple.

"Watch where you're going!" The lady's own husband was now standing beside her, glaring at Jess as he protectively held an arm around Rory.

"I'd watch what you're saying, if I was you." The couple scoffed, picked up the wife's purse that had dropped when she fell, and went on their way. Jess relaxed his hold on Rory as they walked off. "Are you alright?"

"Yea. I really shouldn't do that in a crowded place, especially not when I have heels on." Jess let go of her and took the stroller again, and the family continued walking towards the luggage carousel.


	4. Gotcha

**Sony31 – Firstly, I have no idea how long this is going to be. If it turns out again to be 26 chapters, I'm going to be pulling my hair out. That'd be too weird. Secondly, Lorelai isn't really an actress. Once more, I gave her a job without doing any research, so I don't know if it's an actual job, but I've decided to have Lorelai be an agent/talent scout person. You know, the ones who go to malls and give out their cards to little kids who throw hissy-fits, and then the kids come in and have glamour shots taken and then go on to be big movie stars but the agent gets a cut of everything? I think it's a real job. And I'm glad you're switching between liking Jess and liking Rory; originally I went over my stuff, and I thought 'people are going to hate Jess', so I needed to keep you guys guessing who was in the right here. Lookie, a really long AN! Because you write me such long, fabulous reviews. Done now, though. **

**LivingintheOCsucks – Thanks for the 20+ reviews in the past 24 hours. **

Rory and Marty walked along without speaking, enjoying each other's company and the sights and sounds that Boston had to offer them.

"So Jess got back yesterday?"

"Yes he did."

"How was that?"

"Somewhat awkward, as usual. But I accidentally walked into this woman, and Jess was all manly and stuff about getting her and her husband to back off." Marty rolled his eyes, something that didn't go unnoticed by her. "What was that for?"

"Nothing."

"No, you definitely meant something there."

"You'll get mad at me."

"Marty, tell me." He sighed. She's pouting, and he can refuse her nothing when she pouts like that.

"Just that you always seem to forgive Jess anything with the smallest act of kindness. You sounded like he was your hero for 'acting manly' one time, when first of all he's a total jackass to you most of the time, and second of all, he's your husband. He's supposed to be nice to you anyway."

"He's not forgiven anything at all. I just think it's sweet when he gets all protective like that." Marty rolled his eyes again. "Okay, you really gotta stop doing that."

"You know I don't like Jess at all, Rory. If I had my way, you'd be out of that house by now." A horrified look came over her face.

"Marty! Don't say things like that." A hint of crabbiness was creeping into her voice, so he tried to pacify her.

"I know you won't leave him, though, so I'm going to drop it."

"Thank you." They continued walking, looking on as two Native American performers serenaded the crowds with wooden flutes.

"I'm sorry," Marty told her after a few minutes. "I don't have the right to pass judgment on your marriage like that."

"Damn right you don't," she responded, but there was no anger in her voice.

"I just don't like it when my friends are hurt. But neither do I understand your reasons for staying with Jess, so it's not my place to try and talk you into anything."

"You don't understand," she affirmed. "Hell, I don't understand sometimes." He looked at her, shocked by this new development. "I never thought I'd be the girl who lets her husband get away with going behind her back, but I know Jess loves me. Deep down, I love him too. I'm just not good with showing it, so he looks for comfort elsewhere."

"That's a crappy excuse and you know it, Rory." She stopped and turned so they were facing each other.

"Bottom line: Jess takes care of me. He takes care of my life. He takes care of my kids. He's there whenever I need him, and he always forgives me. So I'm not going anywhere, no matter what he does."

"And what if he gets bored and decides to leave?" A small smile spread over her face as she turned back around and continued walking.

"He won't."

"Why not?"

"I already told you why. He loves me. God knows why, because I'm not the nicest or most affectionate wife, but he does." Marty nodded slowly, then brightened up.

"I do believe its ice cream time." Her face lit up, and then they were racing towards the small, well-lit shop for giant cones of sugary goodness.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

It was noon when she arrived back at the house, kissed Marty's cheek goodbye, and pulled her rolling luggage up the walkway and through the front door. She let the suitcase bump loudly up the stairs behind her as she went to her bedroom, to let everyone in the house know she was home. A minute later, she was unpacking alone in her room when Kathy came in.

"Was it really necessary to drag your bag up the stairs? I would have come and carried it for you it if your arm was that tired."

"Hi Kathy," Rory greeted, ignoring the woman's ranting. "Where are Jane and Riley?"

"In the playroom. I'm getting ready to do a load of whites, so if you have any you want thrown in, toss 'em down the laundry chute." Rory nodded and continued to take articles of clothing out of her bag and drape them on the bed. "And you're planning on doing what with those?"

"Hanging them up." Kathy sighed.

"Go find your kids, I'll unpack for you." Rory flashed her a thousand-watt smile before scampering off to do just that. Kathy rolled up her sleeves as she took all the contents of Rory's suitcase with her to the spare room she used as her ironing center.

Rory's expensive heels clicked against the marble of her floors as she happily ran to the playroom, eager to see Riley and Jane. When she got there, however, her smile slid off her face and to the plush carpet covering the floor. Both her children were staring, transfixed, at the Veggie Tales video playing on the wide-screen as they sat together on the informal white futon in front of the TV. Behind them, Jess sat in their rocking chair, with Mina situated on his lap and whispering in his ear. Neither of them noticed her as Jess smirked at whatever he'd just been told, and let Mina run her fingers though his messy, gel-free hair.

"Mommy!" The two adults in the chair sprang up as Jane hopped off the futon and rushed into her mother's arms. Rory hugged the little girl as she watched Mina blush deeply and Jess shift awkwardly over her daughter's shoulder.

"Mommy!" Riley had toddled over to her as well, and she bent down to kiss his little head.

"Hi, Mrs. Mariano!" Mina said brightly as she too joined the tiny crowd around Rory. Jess was the only one not immediately around her, and she looked across the room into his dark eyes.

'Gotcha,' she mouthed with a humorless smile, and turned her attentions back to her offspring. Jess winced. He'd been caught; the movie and Mina's closeness had blocked out the sounds of her approaching.

The first time he'd strayed, it hadn't been far. Just to Shane's room, and Rory had eventually caught the two red-handed when she went looking for Shane to discuss a snack she'd given Jane that had upset the girl's stomach. A week later, Shane was out of the house, no reason given, and Rory had never discussed firing her during that time or after it. She'd been suspicious of Jenna with good reason, but never actually stumbled upon any incriminating evidence concerning her husband and the nanny. But Jane had hurt herself falling down the stairs while under Jenna's care, and Rory, already spurred by her suspicions, had shown no mercy in dismissing Jenna from her household. Now that she'd officially discovered proof of the latest liaison in her house, Mina's fate was uncertain.

Not that Jess particularly cared. He did like Mina, but it wasn't serious enough to try and stop Rory's vengeance on the girl. He knew it was a matter of time anyway; nannies never lasted long under Rory's watchful eye. That's why it was easiest to hook up with them; they'd be gone before they had the chance to think their relationship with Jess was serious. Also, sneaking around was critically aided by the fact that they lived in his house, and he had the added benefit of keeping the fling quiet. Shane, Jenna, and now Mina were the only girls he'd been with since marrying Rory. They wouldn't get caught, as was likely to occur should he decide to date a costar, and they knew enough to keep quiet when it was over. Dozens of Hollywood nannies, who'd been receiving nice little bonus packages from their bosses, had went public minutes after the affair was over, and it never turned out good for them. There would be an instant burst of popularity which lasted approximately fifteen minutes, and then the media would move on, and the girl would be left to deal with hordes of the wife's angry supporters. Her reputation would be ruined, social and professional, and she'd bear the crippling black mark for years to come. Jobs in the childcare industry and showbiz would become nonexistent for her, and gaining trust among new friends, especially married ones, would be practically impossible.

He'd obviously thought this through. And, as he expected, Shane and Jenna kept hush-hush about their activities while working under the Mariano's roof.

"How was Boston?" he heard Mina asking enthusiastically. It was funny; she looked up to Rory so much even as she slept with her husband.

"Good. Boston was good. We got some ideas to use on the show." She made eye contact with Jess again, but her face betrayed no emotions. His blood boiled at her lack of feelings. He'd give anything for ANY reaction- angry, upset, or hysterical. But as always, she didn't let him into her mind. She never did anymore. She'd earned his nickname the Ice Queen with good reason.

"Right. So, I have to go out." He broke the silence that had crept up on the room's occupants, making all quiet except for the Veggies. Mina was obviously freaked out by Rory's suddenly heightened dislike, and both Jane and Riley were back on the futon, watching their tape. "I'll be back by dinnertime." He nodded to Rory on his way out of the room, and made his way to the upstairs room where he could smell Kathy ironing away.

"Kathy, are there any errands you need me to run?" She glared at him.

"Why the sudden need to get out of the house?" she asked conversationally. But didn't drop the glare.

"You know how it is; Rory's got a stick up her ass, and I think I'd be better off steering clear of her for the rest of the afternoon." Kathy sighed. There was no doubt in her mind that a certain unnamed employer's infidelity was at the root of Rory's bad mood.

"I guess you could go grocery shopping. I just have a short list, but you're a man, so it'll take you a while to find everything."

"I feel like I should be insulted."

"The list is on the refrigerator. Add avocados to it when you grab it, I just remembered I need some for tomorrow's dinner." He thanked her and went to the kitchen to take the list. It was mostly ingredients for Kathy's delicious recipes, but there were also a couple household items (toothpaste, food for Jane's fish Fishy), and a few brands of alcohol written in Rory's hand which she'd obviously run low on. He folded the list and placed it in his pocket before grabbing his leather jacket from the coat closet, and leaving the house.

Having heard the garage door open and close, Rory knew he was gone. She got up from where she sat between Riley and Jane, snapped at Mina to watch them, and made her way towards the drink cart in the living room.

She swallowed the bitter tonic as her gaze fell on the room's focal point; a blown-up picture of her and Jess on their wedding day. They were standing on the balcony of the hotel their service had been held at, and New York City's lights glowed behind them. But it wasn't the view that made Rory's throat constrict; it was the look on her face as Jess kissed her cheek, and she stared ahead of her at the camera with a look of sheer happiness on her face. She glowed, and not just because of the expensive white dress she wore. She glowed because that was probably the happiest she'd even been in her entire life.

Looking back, Rory faintly recalled the recognition that she would probably never be that happy again. Even as they'd said their vows and shared their first dance, she'd had the haunting suspicion that things weren't going to get any better. Their wedding was the climax of their relationship; of her life. She'd even tried to explain this to Jess after their rehearsal dinner, when he wasn't supposed to be seeing her but she'd snuck into his hotel room anyway. She'd tried to tell him her fears that their life together wouldn't work out, but he'd laughed and chalked it up to nerves. Reminded her that he loved her. Promised her that he'd never wanted anything so much as he wanted their marriage to bring them even more happiness than that which they'd already experienced.

So she'd smiled, kissed him, and gone back to bed. And the next morning, she'd forcibly ignored that nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Maybe she was a pessimist, but from that point on, things had been good for a while, but slowly tapered off. She'd become more removed the more she felt that he wasn't legitimately listening to her fears, and that only served to increase them.

She held back all signs of tears even though no one was watching as she looked upon her picture's face. She looked backwards to the point in time that had found her completely content with everything at the present. She remembered when she'd been able to bring herself to be open with Jess about everything, and accordingly the time when Jess hadn't even dreamed of looking at another woman.

Those days were gone now, though. They had a beautiful little girl, Jane, and a brilliant baby boy, Riley. They both had important, high-paying jobs, they owned a gorgeous house, and they both were on the surface very happy. They weren't really, though. And because she felt so horrible about keeping Jess from the happiness he could have had with any other wife, she tried to turn a blind eye to his extracurriculars.

As she stood up to refill her drink, she made up her mind to give Jess a break tonight. Regardless of how much it bothered her to get close to him, she would give him the opportunity to be like any other man and wife. Every once in a while she came to the same conclusion, that she was a bad wife and Jess deserved her affection again, and made the same decision. It never lasted long, but it was during those times that she found the reason for staying with Jess she never told Marty about.

Hope.


	5. PoolBlue Eyes

**Due to circumstances (that piss me off) beyond my control, I will be losing all things cable in my house for the next approx. 2 or 3 weeks, and won't be posting. I'll be back right after my internet resumes, though, with a new chapter. Not really sure why I'm informing, because it's just a little longer than I've waited to post at times, but I just felt like saying it. So now you know. On to the story. **

**And I LOVE reviews, teehee. I read all the ones I receive, and I especially like it if the reviewer is so into the story that they get all emotional…like Mina-bashing (don't worry, I have plans for her) and various OOC rants. Though it IS alternate universe... Moving on, because this has turned into and AR (author's ramble), here's chapter five. This was a mighty fun chapter to write.**

Unlike most rich families, Mina and Kathy normally ate with the Marianos. Rory sat at one end of the table, Jess at the other, and then Mina sat next to Riley opposite Jane and Kathy. No one spoke as they ate Kathy's famous baked potatoes, but meaningful glances were sent back and forth all around. Mina kept looking at Jess as to ask how much trouble she was in, but as he hadn't talked to Rory since the playroom, he had no better of an idea than she did.

Kathy's eyes were narrowed at Mina. Since the Shane incident, she hadn't trusted any of the girls who came through the house. She knew very well that Jess was just as blame-worthy as them, but she also had a soft, mom-like spot for Jess. So her frustration over the afternoon's events fell on none other than the perky blonde.

Rory had been focusing on her plate since they'd sat down, ignoring everyone who occasionally looked at her to judge how she was feeling. She quietly took another sip of her wine, before beginning to recite the alphabet backwards in her head to gauge how sober she was. Normally she wouldn't have bothered, but after her latest decision, she was determined not to be drunk after dinner. It took some time, but she finally reached A. As she did, she looked up for the first time and found Jess staring at her. She shot him a warm smile, stunning him, and returned to eating with her head down.

"Nossy!" Riley screamed, breaking the spell on everyone. The table's other five occupants looked at the little boy who giggled as he basked in their attention. "Nossy! Nossy!" he screamed happily, hoping to elicit the same response his initial 'nossy' had gotten out of the group.

"I think he's saying 'baked potatoes'," Kathy explained apologetically. Riley Mariano had a habit of making up his own words when the real word had too many syllables. The group's personal favorite was "Loopy," which meant 'Grandma Lorelai'.

After dinner, Kathy set about washing the dishes with the window-like feature of the house between the kitchen and the living room open. Mina had taken both children somewhere else in the house, which was surprising, because Rory normally preferred to play with them when she wasn't busy. But Kathy didn't know where Rory was, so she couldn't say why she'd instructed Mina to play with them. The final member of the household, Jess, sat in the living room with the TV on and his laptop in front of him, most likely going over the month's bills. Scratch that, that was definitely what he was doing; every so often his eyebrows scrunched together, and he let out a quick 'Jeez, Rory!'

Speaking of the elusive Rory, she entered the room at that moment. Instead of heading for the drink cart, she made her way towards her husband. Not knowing if they were about to fight, or something else, Kathy closed the window to give them privacy.

"Hey," Rory started as she sat beside him on the couch.

"Hi. Wanna lay off the Visa?" She leaned forward to see what he was seeing on the computer screen, and her hair tumbled across his chest. She was facing forward, so she didn't see the quizzical look that graced his face for a second before he regained his composure. He had been expecting a tantrum about something small, like the fact that he'd only gotten three of the four requested bottles on her grocery list. Either that, or her ignoring him for the rest of the week. He wasn't expecting her to get all friendly-like.

"I'll try. Are you almost done?" By now, he was starting to get suspicious. She usually regarded him with one of two attitudes; she was either playfully harsh, or acted pretty much indifferent to him. The first one was normally present after a few drinks; the second one had been painfully obvious after catching Mina in his lap earlier.

"Why?"

"I was just thinking…" Her fingers found the edge of his t-shirt, and began to teasingly pluck at it. "I haven't been very nice to you lately." He shut the laptop with a snap and turned to her, grinning.

"No. You haven't."

"I'm sorry." Then her lips were on his, and both their worlds were spinning. When they broke apart his smile had gotten wider, but her eyes had turned the pool-blue shade he recognized from past encounters like this. There was some fear in them, some hesitation, some innocence, some sadness. He recognized that look as one she gave him when she was trying to let her guard down, if only temporarily. But many times she had tried to ease up around him, and failed for reasons unknown to Jess. Not this time.

"Hey. Shhhh. I have you, it's okay." He pulled her onto his lap, and kissed her again. She opened her mouth this time, and let his familiar tongue dance with hers. In the kitchen, Kathy couldn't resist opening the window a little, just to peek in on the silence from their end. She smiled to herself when she saw the couple clinging to each other, looking like a pair of love struck teenagers with the house to themselves. Discreetly she closed the windows for the second time, hoping to herself that Rory would go a bit easier on Jess after this. It seemed like every month or so, she would suddenly revert back to the young woman she'd been when she married Jess, and the two would be inseparable for hours. She'd gaze into his eyes, only pausing to blink, while he always had to be touching a part of her; her hair, her hand, anything. But soon, she'd close herself off once more. She'd get distant. And Jess would sit for hours on the darkened patio, staring at the pool as the night's wind made the slightest ripples, wondering what he'd done wrong this time; what he'd done wrong in the first place.

Back in the living room, Jess wrapped his arms around Rory's waist to hold her in place as he sank into the couch. Her hands were wandering, and her nervous eyes had closed themselves. She was letting him in. She was throwing him a bone, which he took with no questions. It had been nearly two months since she'd last gotten like this.

"I have an idea," she told him five minutes later as he kissed her neck.

"Yes?"

"Let's watch Almost Famous." He pulled his head back to look at her. "We haven't watched it together in forever." They hadn't, and it was their favorite movie to watch together.

"Let's."

"You set it up, and I'll go see if we have any good snacks." She jumped up and made her way towards the kitchen as Jess stared after her. Shaking his head to clear the still-surprised cobwebs out, he took Almost Famous from their extensive DVD library, and set it up to play. Two minutes later, she was back with Chex Mix and a bag of Sweedish Fish.

They took their places on the couch as the movie began; him sitting up with his arms draped around her, and her leaning against his chest. She was tenser than she'd been in this position in days past, but did nothing to prevent its occurrence. And when Mina walked in looking for Jess approximately an hour later, she saw him curled up with Rory. She tip-toed back to her room, not expecting Jess's visit tonight.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

The ending credits of the movie found the couple still together on the couch, comfortably alert to each other's presence.

"That was good."

"Always is." He was still marveling at her sudden turn-around. At the same time, he wanted to make the most of it, because he might not get the opportunity to prove himself to her again.

Wasn't that ironic? He was her husband for God's sake, and he still felt sometimes like he had to prove himself worthy to be with her. But while his pride swelled up angrily in his chest at the thought, he'd never voice it aloud. It would chase Rory away even faster.

She was looking up at him with adoring eyes, and he began to believe that this might last for a few more hours, at least. She was putting herself in his hands. Funny how, even when she did that, she still had him wrapped around her finger. It would be an interesting caricature to illustrate.

"I'm tired, Jess." Kissing the flesh on her shoulder exposed by her spaghetti straps, he turned the TV off with a click of the remote.

"Let's go to bed then." She stood up first, having been nearly on top of him throughout the movie, and took his hand in hers as he too rose to his feet. He grabbed her other hand as he backed her towards the staircase. Entwined thus, they made their way upstairs and into their bedroom without hitch. Once there, he leaned against their door to close it, pulling her towards him. Twisting her arms behind her to decrease the space between them, he kissed her lightly, cautiously. He felt her lips curve into a smile as she threw caution to the wind, and used his arms to support her as she hopped up and twined her legs around his waist. He sank a few inches under her weight, but straightened up as he readjusted so he could completely support her, and began moving towards the bed in the center of the room.

Neither had bothered to turn on the lights, so Rory didn't bother with opening her eyes. She knew where they were going anyway. She kept on kissing him sweetly, then passionately, then furiously, then softly. Every time she gasped for breath and made her descent once more, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up in anticipation. What would the next kiss be like? Desperate? Loving? Teasing?

"Oomph." Her back had collided with the mattress. Paired with the man now on top of her, it had knocked the breath out of her for a second. As she gasped for air, Jess trailed his mouth to the side of her head, smooching her cheek and licking her ear. He was biding his time as he waited for her to set the pace. She would either be up for something lengthy, slow, and romantic, or into a faster, wilder kind of night. He never could tell with her- and if he made her uncomfortable by guessing the wrong one, she'd slip through his fingers. "Umm. Jess." She ran her fingers through his chaotic hair, pulling his head back to her lips.

"Jess is here, beautiful. He's here forever." She stopped kissing him and smiled up at him in the darkness. His eyes having adjusted, the trust and respect in that look alone made up for the past months of awfulness. But on an even better note, he now knew what exactly she wanted. Helping her wiggle out of her shirt while still remaining underneath him, he licked his way down her luminous skin, from her neck to her pants. She purred from her position as shy fingers quickly undid the first three buttons of his shirt. "Hold on baby, we've got all night."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Morning light snuck in through the cracks in the blinds. The slivers of it which made it into the expensively-decorated bedroom slid across the faces of the two people in bed. Jess's eyes were closed, though he was wide awake, as Rory's manicured nails traced circles around his raised nipple. Their limbs were still twisted almost painfully together under the Egyptian cotton sheets, but neither made the effort to move. A saucy smile was on Rory's lipstick-free lips (it had been kissed off hours ago) as she began to draw trapezoids instead. Finally he could take it no longer, and admitted defeat.

"God, Ror, what are you doing to me?"

"I knew you weren't asleep." He shifted so his whole self was facing her, being forced to disentangle their bodies slightly. Draping a lazy arm over her waist, he moved in unhurriedly for a drawn-out good morning kiss. She returned it with equal ardor, making his spirits lift yet even further. The only thing better than waking up with neither space nor clothing separating him from Rory was Rory's eagerness to repeat the activities that had gotten them that way in the first place.

"What time is it?" he asked a few minutes later as he finally drew back, but kept his eyes on her face. They combed her features as she blushed under them, and she lifted her own eyes to view the alarm clock over his bare shoulder.

"9:28. I don't have to be anywhere until 3, what about you?"

"4. Plenty of time for another round, don't you agree?" She giggled as he rolled on his back, pulling her with him. Before she knew it, she was sprawled across her husband as he lay back, looking at her with the same intensity his gaze had held the night before.

"Yea, but we should probably go see if Riley and Jane are awake yet. And ask Kathy for some breakfast in bed. I'm thinking French toast, what about you?"

"I'm not hungry. Well, for food, anyway. And Mina can watch the kids." As soon as he mentioned HER, Rory's smile dropped. Pushing herself off of him, she grabbed her velvety bathrobe from the bedpost and slid it on as she stood up. He looked at her speechlessly as she headed for the bathroom.

"I have to shower." Cursing loudly and in as many languages as he knew, he soon found himself out of swearwords. The ONLY time she had to react like that, after hearing Mina's name mentioned, had to be at that moment. It just had to be. Rory must hate him, it was the only reason she'd say nothing after catching the girl on his lap and whispering in his ear, but turn back into the Ice Queen nanoseconds after he mentioned her in a completely unrelated conversation under such circumstances as they'd just experienced. Rory must hate him, it was the only explanation.

He sighed as he too took his bathrobe from its place by their bed, grabbed a long-neglected pack of cigarettes he'd been hiding from Kathy out of his underwear drawer, and headed for the door that led to his and Rory's private patio. He'd quit smoking while Rory was carrying Jane, trying from the start to be the best Dad ever, but still needed to indulge himself every now and then. Particularly at times like these.

Why had he been so stupid as to mention Mina? He must have gotten too comfortable with the idea that Rory would feign indifference towards the girl's name. It was the only way he'd forget that Rory's defenses were down, and that she'd react like any normal person. Saying Mina's name, even if he was just talking about her job, was quiet possibly the dumbest thing he'd done in a long time… Mina being included on that list.

He lit a cigarette, reflecting. He'd pushed her away this time. He couldn't cling to the false belief that it was just her nature when she retreated, because he'd never been more sure that it was his fault. He went through three cancer sticks before he saw her moving around in the bedroom, and threw the smoking butt into the makeshift ashtray he'd formed out of an empty Gin bottle Rory had left outside. Reentering the room, he watched her select a pair of earrings from the box on their dresser, stubbornly ignoring him. A wave of pain engulfed him, and before he could think, he was talking.

"You can't do that. Not after…what we were. Just then. You can't do that to me, Rory."

"I still need the bathroom to do my hair. If you need to shower or piss, would you mind using the hall bathroom?"

"You always do this to me! Always!" A boiling tear wound itself down his face before he could register that he was crying. She smiled falsely as she chose a pair of turquoise and silver danglies. "I know it might not have been the smartest thing to mention Mina, but that's why there is a Mina. Because you shut yourself off from me with no warning, no reason, no explanation!" Her eyes didn't meet his as she went back to the bathroom and closed the door. He stared after her, another tear falling. But he came to his senses soon enough, and grabbed a random shirt and pants from the stacks in his closet. Dressing without showering, he made his way down to the kitchen where Kathy was stirring unrecognizable batter at the island. She looked up hopefully when he came in, but saw his crestfallen face. She sighed as she put down her whisk and walked to him, enveloping him in a motherly hug.

"I'm so sorry, honey." He let out a strangled sob as he suddenly hugged her back, tightly.

"Why does she do this to me?"

"I don't know, Jess. It's just Rory."

"She didn't used to hurt me. What did I do to her?"

"Nothing. You did nothing." She soothed him with more words, and then pancakes as she tried to comfort him in the way that Liz had never even attempted. Speaking of Lizzie, he'd talked to his mother about half a year ago. She had moved down to Flordia with her new husband TJ years ago, and though mother and son were no closer than they'd been in Jess's youth, some of the hostility had gone away as they both matured. From what she'd said when they talked six months ago, things were stellar, and her and TJ were doing swell.

It was sad when Liz's relationship were healthier than his own.


	6. Lunch with Lorelai

**Whoever asked – A real explanation was never really offered. Nothing unitarily and stupendously bad happened to Rory, it was just a build up of things over time, some of which I've already written about. I haven't even fully gotten into that yet, and I plan to write lots of details, but so many people are asking, and I wanted to clear it up. **

**Hallon- I feel super honored. **

**My darlings! I missed you so! But I'm back, and just in time for Christmas- so here's an early present. I do hope you enjoy!**

Rory perched on the marble countertop of her bathroom sink, fully dressed, made-up, and inebriated. A nearly empty tequila bottle sat beside her as she glared at it.

"You gave me a headache." She had gotten to herself to the point where talking to inanimate objects was not out of the question, as you can see. "Blech. You didn't even taste good." She poured the last few tablespoons down the drain, then turned the water on to wash away all signs of liquor. It did nothing for the throbbing in her head, or the pounding at the door.

"Rory? Marty's on the phone again- he says please just pick up. You were supposed to go to work today. Are you conscious?" Kathy frantically rapped at the bathroom door, her knuckles a painful shade of pink by now.

"Dammit," Rory cursed at no one. Flinging the empty bottle at the bathtub, she heard it smash as it disappeared over the tub's rim.

"I'm getting the keys, Rory." The worried housekeeper didn't know how long Mrs. Mariano had been in the bathroom, but it had been hours at least. Jess had gone up to a meeting in New York by now, and the kids hadn't seen their mother all day.

"Oopsies," Rory's voice came through the door a minute later, as she crashed to the floor. By the time Kathy had returned and unlocked the door, she'd fallen asleep from her position on the ground. The older woman heaved her into bed, embarrassed eyes skimming the results of Rory and Jess's night together. She made a mental note to wash those sheets as soon as possible.

Rory began muttering as she regained consciousness/awoke. Kathy was sitting beside her, wiping her brow with a cool washcloth.

"Aspirin please." Handing over the medication Rory kept in her bedside drawer at all times, Kathy looked upon the beautiful face with pity.

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked a few minutes later. It was part of her approach to therapy Rory out of drinking- make her remember as soon as possible, so she began to see that she couldn't just drink and forget.

"Yea. You might wanna wash these sheets." Rolling her eyes, Kathy stood up to leave. Rory needed to sleep this off right now- rest would be more beneficial than any medicine. As she left, she thought she heard Rory sniffle from the bed.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

It had been a week since that eventful night, and the couple was barely speaking. In seven days, they'd said exactly nine things to each other. Three had to do with Riley and Jane, two had to do with work, three dealt with passing things at the dinner table, and one had been an inquiry as to where her designer leather jacket might be found.

Six nights after he'd slept in Rory's arms, he'd made his way to Mina's room. The girl eagerly received him, asking no questions. She reminded him of himself in that way, but with an obvious difference. Mina was helplessly infatuated with Jess Mariano, while Jess was dutifully in love with Rory.

Rory sat with her kids in front of the living room TV, her eyelids drooping lower and lower as she watched the costumed characters hold hands and dance in a circle. She had been in Boston until three AM the previous day, and still had to drive home. Consequently, she'd only gotten about an hour of sleep before she roused herself to mother her children.

The ringing of her cell phone from its resting place on the couch arm jerked her back awake. Without so much as bothering to check who the caller was, she flipped it open and answered with a sleep 'hello?'

"Ma baby girl!" Lorelai's southern drawl sounded through the ear piece.

"Hi Mom."

"Are you busy tomorrow?" The drawl disappeared as the conversation commenced.

"In the morning. Why?"

"Because, sweet thing, Michel is opening a new boutique on 44th, and you have to come to the opening with me." Michel Gerard was the tenant who'd moved into the apartment Rory and her mother had once shared before they'd both married and moved out. He was one of the most rude and egotistical people both women knew, but this was the third store in the city he managed. Both Lorelai and Rory adored his clothes, and he'd gone so far as to customly design the dress Rory wore to the Golden Globes with her charming husband one year.

"Will there be food?"

"Probably not, but I'll treat you to lunch if you come play with me for the afternoon." Rory yawned as she pulled her palm pilot out of her pocket; she took it everywhere with her. She'd lost it several months ago, and nearly suffered a nervous breakdown without its guidance.

"I guess I could come up for a few hours." Lorelai squealed.

"Awesome! Come to the apartment as early as you can tomorrow, and we'll leave from there."

"Will Matti be coming with us?" Rory asked affectionately about her little brother.

"Luke's taking him. You and me haven't spent any special mother/daughter time together lately, so he wanted it to be just us."

"Can I at least see him when I get to your place? I think I can make it by one."

"Sure thing. I know he misses you."

"Cool. I'll see you tomorrow, Mom." They hung up, and Rory entered her plans for the next day into her little computer friend.

"Going somewhere tomorrow?" She whipped her head around with a start to see Jess leaning against the doorframe. His hair was wet, meaning that he'd just showered. And if he was showering in the middle of the day, it meant he'd just scored with Mina. And if he'd just scored with Mina, it meant he was in a good mood. Which was why he was talking to her.

"I didn't hear you come in."

"I'm sneaky like that." He ventured further into the room and sat down on the couch next to Jane. The little girl giggled as he plopped her into his lap, and stared raptly at the TV with him.

"I'm going shopping with my mom tomorrow." Riley was reaching for his father's watch, his eyes round at its shine. Jess used his index and middle fingers like little legs, and walked the hand with the watch over to the little boy who promptly moved forward to bite it.

"Have fun." Seeing that the kids were obviously in good hands, she lifted herself from the couch, and headed for the stairs. She was going up to her room as Mina sauntered down the hall from the other end of the house, grinning from ear to ear. Her hair was also wet.

"Hi Mrs. Mariano! Where are your children?"

"In the living room with their father." Mina's face lit up even more, if it was possible. Rolling her eyes in disgust, Rory finished climbing the stairs, and slammed her door. Pulling a small glass bottle from one of her many hiding places around the room, she proceeded to drain it, and collapse onto her bed without taking off her clothes, or upsetting the sheets.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Hey there Matti, where's Mom?" She stood at her mother's doorway facing her four-year-old brother, who had just opened the door. The boy looked confused. "Mommy? Where is she Matti?" Blank look. Sighing, Rory peaked her head around the front door to see Lorelai crouching next to her son. "You get a kick out of that, don't you?" Picking up Matti so she could move inside, Rory kicked off her flats as she turned to face her mother.

"It's a show stopper."

"Letting a four-year-old child open the door to God knows what on the other side? Not really a super idea."

"But I look through the peephole first. If I know the person, I open the door and hide so it looks like he did it."

"Did you used to do this with me?" Rory asked as she placed her little brother in his high-chair.

"If I said no, would you believe me?" Instead of answering, Rory rummaged through her bag to find the treat she'd brought with her. Matti clapped as she withdrew the lollipop.

"Tank you, Rory!" She unwrapped it before handing it over, and then rushed into her mother's awaiting hug.

"Mmm, it's been forever."

"It's only been a couple weeks, Mom."

"Yea, but I miss my eldest."

"I'm sorry, but I'm so busy lately."

"I don't care how busy you get, young lady. You still find time to hang with your mother."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't made me open the door to strangers when I was a child, I'd find it in my heart to make that happen."

"Mean."

They left Matti with Rory's beloved step-father, and headed for the elevator. A very enthusiastic Babette Dell was already on her way down, and she eagerly joined Rory and Lorelai all the way to a street corner a few blocks away from the Starrshallau.

"Well, dolls, I'm gonna let you go now. Have fun at that French bastard's store; I might check it out myself sometime."

"Great talking to you, Babette." Rory hailed a cab as Lorelai waved goodbye, and the two women climbed in together. They gave directions to the cabbie as Lorelai related all the latest building gossip back to her daughter, and by the time they arrived, Rory was swept up in nostalgia.

"No way. Taylor and Patty?"

"It's just a rumor, so don't go spreading it around. But…" she trailed off suggestively.

"You WILL keep me posted on this."

"Oh, absolutely. Lookie, we're here."

Michel's store was full of paparazzi, fashion hounds, and a few lesser-known celebrities. Everyone's excitement mounted as Rory Gilmore herself walked in, and headed for the elegant store owner with a woman by her side.

"Rory! Lorelai! How good of you to make it!" He pulled Rory's hands towards him in a symbol of friendship and smiled at the cameras. Grinning at her mom, Rory allowed him to kiss both of her cheeks.

"Michel! Dear friend, been digging through any garbages lately?" He huffed and dropped her hands, regardless of the photo op.

"Some imbecile had thrown away my pinkie ring! You know that!" Laughing, Rory and Lorelai linked arms as they went off to wander around the store.

Forty minutes later, Rory was still attracting a good deal of attention, and both her and her Mom had an armful of purchases.

"What shall we lunch on?" Lorelai asked her as they were heading back out to the street.

"I don't know. I'm having a fruit salad craving." Lorelai stopped walked and stared at her.

"Today's Sunday."

"I think I knew that."

"Sunday is your splurge day. Why do you want something healthy on Sunday?" Rory shrugged.

"I don't normally eat fruit, even during the week when I'm following my diet. For some reason, I want some now." Lorelai started walking again, but regarded Rory very closely. "For God's sake, stop acting like my eating fruit is the end of the world!" Shrugging, her mother dropped the subject.

They reached a cute little café with cornucopias drawn on the windows. Sitting down at a two-person table and depositing their bags at their feet, both women skimmed the menu thoughtfully. Until Rory happened to look up from hers, and see that her mother was staring at her over the top of her own menu.

"Stop that!"

"It's weird. Do you think it's weird?"

"What's weird?"

"The fruit thing!"

"No way you're still on that. Mom, you're like the queen of weird cravings. Remember the Pringles dipped in Magic Shell?"

"Those were surprisingly not bad. But you NEVER eat fruit…unless you've got a bun in the oven."

"Excuse me?" Their conversation was put on hold as a cheery waitress took their drink orders, and then Rory furiously started in on Lorelai. "Repeat that last line?"

"Both times you were pregnant, Bunny, you ate baskets and baskets of fruit. Remember the peaches?"

"I'm not pregnant, Mom."

"Five peaches. I came back, and all five were gone."

"I'm not pregnant, Mom!" Lorelai stopped her semi-serious teasing at Rory's tone of voice.

"Would that be bad?"

"Yea. Yea, now is…not a good time."

"Why? What's wrong? Did Jess do something?" Something in Rory snapped, and she pushed her chair back as she stood up.

"Why would you automatically assume it was Jess? Why can't I be the one who did something wrong?"

"Rory, you know I love Jess, I didn't mean to imply-"

"Why can't he be the good husband, and I be the one that has a problem?" She suddenly stopped talking, and her eyes went wide. "Oh my God. Fruit." She picked her bags up from the floor, and ran towards the door. Throwing an apology over her shoulder to the cashier, Lorelai followed her out.

"Rory! Wait! Where are you going?"

"To get a pregnancy test!" She ducked inside the first drugstore she came upon, and Lorelai followed anxiously.


	7. A test you wish to fail

"So…this kinda brings me back. To when I was in high school, I mean. And I was the one in the bathroom, while my friend Shauna was waiting outside the bathroom door like this." No answer from inside the drugstore bathroom. "Rory? Sweetie, what's the matter? Maybe it's not the right time, but it'll be amazing anyway. A third kid, think about it!"

"Mom, it hasn't registered yet. Please wait until it has for the pep talk."

"It's just bizarre to be here. I mean, I was 16 and unmarried. You're 27, you've got a great job and a house, and two kids already and a nanny to throw them to. What am I forgetting?"

"Jess," Rory mumbled from inside.

"Yea, him. Your husband who loves you even if he can sometimes be a jerk, and who I'm sure is going to be over the moon if he finds out he reproduced again."

"Not helping, Mom."

"Rory, what's wrong? I'm gathering that you and Jess are having problems, but I don't want to lay the blame on anyone." Rory sighed as she looked at her watch. Two more minutes. She sat down on the closed, dirty toilet seat to wait.

"It's my fault. I'm not there for him when he needs me to be."

"Well, maybe having another baby would change that."

"No, I don't think I'm explaining myself very well. I'm working half the time, and when I'm at home, I'm mean to him."

"Okay…why are you mean to him?"

"I don't know, I don't even think I try to be. It's just…uncomfortable."

"What is?"

"Us."

"Rory, you're going to have to narrow it down a little. What's uncomfortable?"

"Nothing. Everything. I don't know, Mom, I didn't want things to end up like this."

"Rory, sweetie, I have no idea what you're saying. You and Jess are fighting?"

"No. We don't fight." She checked her watch again, and stood up with her heart thumping. She missed her mother's next confused comment as she approached the sink, and picked up the little plastic stick perched on its side.

"…maybe you should go to counseling or something. Marriage counseling, I mean. Sookie and Jackson tried it, and they said it did wonders. Isn't that funny? I thought it was, because Sookie and Jackson are so together. But maybe it would work for you and Jess." Lorelai stopped talking for a minute to listen for a response. Luckily, there was almost no one in the drugstore, or her conversation with the bathroom door might not have gone unnoticed. "Rory? You there?"

Silently, Rory opened the heavy door so her mother could come in. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she moved aside to give Lorelai room.

"Rory, what's wrong?" Her daughter didn't answer, and Lorelai saw the cheap plastic test sitting on the sink again. She picked it up carefully, not really wanting to touch something Rory had peed on, and clearly saw the tiny 'pregnant' printed on it. She detested the older style tests, with their colors and shapes and windows…but as she saw her daughter's staggered face, she wished Rory had been able to take the extra 30 seconds to decipher the code before she'd gotten the message that she truly was pregnant.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Rory lay on the Danes' couch, with her head in her mother's lap. She had succumbed to tears almost an hour ago, and the water works had yet to dry up.

"Luke, just go get us some more ice cream. Please," Lorelai pleaded with her husband. He had other plans, however.

"Jess is hurting her. It's the only explanation."

"Stop jumping to conclusions. We're gonna reach the ice cream stage soon, so go now."

"Lorelai, the first time she was…you know, pregnant, she was ecstatic. I'd never seen her happier. Now look at her- Jess did something."

"Hey, she calmed down a bit with Riley. I wouldn't be thrilled if I found out I had to squeeze yet another watermelon out."

"Lorelai, she's been crying for ages!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"She didn't want you to call Jess."

"Understandable; she said they were in a rough spot right now."

"She's not wearing her wedding ring." Lorelai's next argument was halted when she looked down at the hand clutching her skirt, and confirmed what Luke had said.

"Oh. I didn't notice that."

"I forgot it today," Rory muttered in between sobs from her horizontal position. "I do that sometimes." She actually was telling the truth. When she remembered, she always made a point of wearing it, as a reminder to herself and others that Jess was the only guy she'd ever have. But after a morning of drinking, or post-drinking, it occasionally would slip her mind. Jess also chose to keep his ring finger adorned unless he was working. And he probably took it off when he was with Mina, but she couldn't be sure.

Luke knelt down beside her as he stroked her cheek lightly with his callused working hands.

"Rory, tell us. Is Jess treating you right?" She let loose another sob into her mother's legs.

"Yes. Yes. Jess is wonderful, as always. It's all my fault."

"No it's not, Bunny," Lorelai soothed. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is! I push him away, and he has no choice but to go behind my back."

"Behind your…" Lorelai and Luke exchanged a glance. Up until this point, they'd believed that Jess and Rory had a relatively smooth relationship. They didn't expect perfection, being married themselves, but Rory's current state came as a complete shock.

"Mina. God, I hate that slut. I don't see why I have to let her stay in my house." Lorelai gasped as Luke angrily headed for the phone.

"No, don't call him!"

"He's cheating on you, Rory? I'm calling that little bastard." Luke angrily punched numbers on the telephone. Jess still got on his nerves most of the time, but he'd always trusted the punk to take care of Rory. It had always appeared that he did just that, so Luke held a grudging respect for this nephew/stepson-in-law.

"Please stop," she begged, standing up shakily. "It's not a big deal." Lorelai looked appalled.

"I can't believe his nerve. I never would have expected this from him."

"It's my fault. I'm don't give him the attention he deserves."

"Rory, you cannot be the girl who accuses herself of forcing the guy to cheat." Luke slammed down the receiver a few feet away.

"It's busy."

"It's my fault. It really is, Mom. I know when I got pregnant, because it was the only time I treated him like my husband in the past, like, two months."

"Rory, stop it. Nothing is your fault, snap out of it."

"No! Don't tell him anything! Stay out of this!" She nearly ran to the door.

"Rory, wait!" The slamming door answered Lorelai's command. She looked at her husband. "I-I've never seen her like that. She yelled at me. She condoned his behavior."

"I'm calling anyway. He may be the blood relative, but he does not get off treating Rory like that." To his surprise, Lorelai put a hand on his arm.

"Leave it. They're adults; they don't need our interference," she told him sadly.

"Lorelai, Rory's hurting."

"I know. But she told us to stay out of it, so we will." She pulled him away from the phone. "Unless she asks for our help, it's none of our business." Luke sighed.

"If you say so, Lor. But I still hate him."

"Oh yea. Me too."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Rory slowly creaked the big front door open. Seeing no one around, she entered the house. Catching a glimpse of her tear-stained face in the hall mirror, she made a face. This was big. This was bad. This required close to a whole bottle of Jack Daniels.

She gasped on her way upstairs. She was pregnant. She couldn't drink, what was wrong with her!

"I'm a bad mother!" she screamed suddenly, breaking the silence of the house. From down the hall, where Jess was curled up in Mina's loving arms with a paperback copy of _Catch 22 _(which the blonde neither understood, nor cared about), he heard his wife's shriek.

Bounding the rest of the way up the stairs, Rory hurled herself into bed. She drank to cope, and she couldn't drink now. So how was she supposed to cope?

When Jess entered the bedroom five minutes later, having gotten worried enough to come looking, he found Rory lying facedown, her body wracked with sobs.

"Ror?" He'd never seen her like this before. She didn't cry anymore, she had found other means to deal. So something must be really, really wrong.

"Jess? Oh God, Jess." Frowning, he climbed onto the bed beside her, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She didn't shrug him off or push him away, so he chanced to get a little closer.

"I don't know what's wrong, but I'm here. And I'll fix it if you let me."

"I think I'm past fixing, Jess. I think I'm really, really broken."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Jess rubbed his eyes as he walked into the conference room with his fellow cast members. They were doing a big phone interview today, and he hadn't gotten any sleep last night. Holding Rory while she cried until she had no tears left, and then continuing to hold her while she hiccupped dry sobs had left him completely exhausted. He'd been happy to do it, the only problem was that she hadn't clued him in (as usual) to the reason why she was distressing.

"Good morning, cast of Winter Dreams!" The people around him muttered practiced pleasantries as Jess picked up a pen from the table they sat around. He began to doodle on the only surface he could find- his designer jeans, Kathy would have a fit about that- as the representative from People, or US, or whatever magazine was doing this story droned on.

He'd squeaked by with only answering two questions directed precisely at him, and both times it'd been relatively easy to answer. They were both questions concerning his character and his costars, and he had been working for months with his character and his costars. So he knew his stuff, even if he was half-asleep.

"Now, if you all don't mind, how about a few personal questions before I let you go?" Someone chirped a positive response, and the lady on the phone began to relate the latest rumors back to the actors. They answered calmly, with well-rehearsed non-answers that didn't satisfy the interviewer, but etiquette kept her from complaining.

Zoning out again, Jess went back to his drawing. He drew a dog, then a book, then a star. His brain drifted around leisurely as he scrawled his wife's name in cursive across the star. Rory was definitely on his brain today.

"Jess Mariano! You're so quiet, it's almost like you're not there!"

"Oh, I'm here alright."

"Super. How are Rory and the kids?" He traced the name on his knee again, making it bolder.

"Rory's pretty busy, but she likes work. Riley's a normal, happy toddler, and Jane had her first dream the other night. We bought her a unicorn, apparently."

"Such is with little girls. How is she reacting to the news?"

"What news?" he asked, only half paying attention. He added a peace sign for the hell of it to his sketch.

"I hate to spoil your surprise, but we technically weren't the ones to do it. A tabloid reporter witnessed her and her mother in a New York drugstore yesterday. The pregnancy's out!"

"What?" he asked stupidly, the pen's tip digging into his skin through the denim.


	8. My lips are sealed

**emmy – Can you not sign up for FFN? If it's possible, you should, because they send you emails whenever a story you have on your list is updated! It's so fun! I love seeing all the little alerts lined up in my mailbox. **

**kessemm – I don't know when I first described her as having blonde hair, but in my head, she's always been blonde. Sorry for the confusion.**

**Sanfrangiantsfan – I actually have a very interesting idea that I'm playing around with for the next nanny. Not quite an old lady, but…you'll have to see. **

**All- Thank you for you wonderful reviews! I feel so very uninspired lately, and I always find a million little things to do besides write, so when I actually do sit down and put together some of this story, I'm glad that it gets positive feedback. Even if it is people telling me that I'm evil. Am I evil::Villain-y laugh: Time will tell… **

**And I'm sorry about the delay. I started new classes, after wasting my first half of the year on electives, and I can't coast anymore…need to get my act together…graduating in a little over a year…there's not so much time for me to chill in front of my computer any more. I couldn't abandon you guys, though. I've fallen in love with so many stories that were discontinued, and I cried over some of them. Not this story's fate. **

Groaning as she kicked her shoes off, each one making a reassuring thump as it skittered across the hallway and hit the wall, Rory made a beeline for the liquor cart that occupied the southern corner of their living room. Just as she was beginning to pour herself something scotchy-smelling, she remembered.

"Damn." She slammed the half-full glass down as she turned on her heel and went to the kitchen instead. Pouring herself a glass of grapefruit juice instead- it was the closest liquid to the front of the refrigerator- she downed it in three gulps.

It didn't help. The memories of her hectic workday (Bootsy had been MIA for over an hour before they discovered him trapped between a fallen backdrop and a studio wall; Madeline had accidentally cut her pinkie on her script, and the sight of blood sent her into hysterics that required two paramedics to bring her back) didn't fade away. And worse- yesterday's revelation coupled with her parent's reaction made her feel…different. She'd settled into the don't-ask-don't-tell policy with most people in her life, save sometimes Marty, and now Luke and Lorelai knew about Jess's excursions, while she had to work up the courage to tell her husband that it was time to go back to Lamaze class.

Actually, scratch Lamaze class. This time around, there would be morphine.

"Damn. Damn. Damn Damn Damn!" she stomped up the stairs, cursing every time her foot hit marble. Her bad mood had intensified with the bad taste of the grapefruit juice,

She reached the top of the stairs, and made the hard left that brought her right in front of her door. Forgetting that Jess was already home, and had most likely had a hard day too, she flung open the doors as loudly and violently as she possibly could. It made her feel better for a second, before she realized that Jess was lying on HER side of the bed- with his eyes open.

"Hi," she greeted him, surprised.

"Hi."

"Still up I see." He shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep." A weighted silence descended upon them.

"So…okay then. You're on my side of the bed."

"That I am." Another heavy pause.

"Could you move?"

"No."

"I like my side. It's why I claimed it as my side."

"I think we should talk." Her heart thudded from what felt like her throat. He knew. She closed the door, blocking the hall light's illumination from entering. She could still see his outline, though.

"About what?"

"You pick the subject. Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"Bootsy's fine. The paramedics were already there because of Madeline, so they checked him out before they left. No internal bruising."

"Anything else?"

"There's a pre-poured cup of something downstairs, if you want."

"Anything else?"

"I can't think of anything. Be more specific."

"Okay. Let's try…when was the last time you remembered to take your birth control?"

"Uh, I took it…yesterday morning? Yea, that sounds about right."

"And before that?"

"Probably some time last week." Jess let out a humorless laugh. "I forget sometimes. I'm stressed out. Or I have a headache."

"And after all this, you couldn't possibly know what I'm getting at?"

"Not a clue. I'm really tired, can we do this tomorrow." Her tone bit at him, so he threw up his hands in defeat. Rolling back to his designated side, he watched her move around the room in the dark. She took her nightgown from a dresser drawer, and went in the bathroom to change.

When she came back ten minutes later, she knew he was awake. She knew that sleep wouldn't come easily for either of them tonight. And mostly, she knew how hurt he was by her playing dumb to his questions. She couldn't tell him, though. She could answer him yes if he asked her directly, but she couldn't come out and share that sensitive piece of news like a deserving wife.

He exhaled slowly from beside her. "Do you hate me?" he asked after a minute. Not turning her head, she responded tonelessly but sincerely.

"No. I love you."

"You've got a funny way of showing it."

"Go to sleep, Jess."

"I love you too. And it's killing me. You know that, right?"

"Sleep, Jess."

"You know. You can see me dying, every time you shut me out."

"God, you're such a drama queen."

"Tell me Rory. Just say it, and I'll leave you alone. I'll even go sleep on the couch if that's what you want."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Please. It should have come from you in the first place, just spit it out." She didn't answer him. Instead, she feigned sleep.

Jess stood up, grabbing his pillow. He made his way down to the living room, and arranged himself on the luxurious couch for the night. But not before draining the glass Rory had left out on the table.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Kathy straightened her sweater as she entered the living room with a yawn. She really shouldn't have stayed up that late, watching old Brady Bunch reruns, and cleaning out the cookie jar and Jess was on the couch.

Why was Jess on the couch? Kathy sighed, recognizing that Rory must play some part in this. It was strange, though- even after the Shane incident, Jess had stayed safely in their bedroom. She moved forward to shake him awake, but he batted her hand away. Muttering fowl words, he rolled his head underneath the pillow taken from his bed upstairs.

"Jess Mariano, don't make me wash your mouth out with soap!"

"Huh?" came the muffled response. Pityingly, she pried the pillow from his sleepy fingers, and sat down on the edge of the couch. She began to smooth his hair out as he came to his senses. "Why the fuck am I on the couch?" She smacked his cheek lightly. 

"Potty mouth! I could have been Jane!"

"You're Jane? Oh, shit. Aw, shit, I said shit. Go away, Janey."

"It's Kathy, Jess. And once you regain motor skills, I WILL be washing your mouth."

"Where's Rory?" He pushed himself to a sitting position as he rubbed his eyes.

"I'm betting upstairs. I know better than to ask WHY you're on the couch, but do you have any instructions for me when I go up there? Do you want me to tell her anything, or get anything for you?" Something dawned on him, probably the reason he was downstairs, and she saw it behind his eyes.

"No. I'm going up now anyway, so don't bother." Leaving his pillow behind, he climbed the stairs slowly and several at a time, using the banister to stretch himself. As Kathy headed for the kitchen, she heard the big house's reverberations as Jess popped his back on his way up. She shuddered at the noise before opening the kitchen door.

Cautiously, he opened the door. She was already awake, sitting up in bed and watching TV without a glass of anything in her hand. It was a familiar picture, but strangely lacking in that last detail.

"Not drinking?" he asked, as she turned her head towards him. She regarded him with a glance, her eyes tired, but clear of sleep. It was obvious she'd been up for a while.

"Can't."

"Why not?" He reverted back to last night's attempts.

"I don't get why it's such a big deal for me to SAY it."

"Neither do I, but for some reason, you won't." She stared at him for a minute, before he closed the door. He sat down a few feet from her on the bed, and looked at the plasma screen in front of them. "What are we watching?"

"E! True Hollywood Story. Of Jersey Girls." The corners of his mouth turned up.

"We got an E! True Hollywood Story?"

"No one told me. This isn't new, so I'm assuming it's existed for a while." The screen showed their characters spin towards each other and meet in a fantastic kiss. Jess grinned, reminiscing, as Rory squirmed, uncomfortable.

"If we were still doing that, the show I mean, would you have such a problem kissing me?"

"I don't have a problem with kissing you."

"You haven't in a while."

"I kissed you last week. And look what I get- you knocked me up." He stared at her, waiting to see if she'd say more. "Stop looking at me. I said it, let me watch TV in peace now."

"Are you positive? Cause, remember, before Jane you thought you were pregnant, but you weren't, and you were pretty torn up about it."

"I'm already pretty torn up, Jess. I took a test, and it came out positive. Mom said there wasn't enough time in between the you-know-what and my taking the test, but it still said positive. And I wanted fruit." He nodded, knowing the fruit issue. "I should probably make an appointment. I'll do that today." He faced the TV again, pondering the words she's spoken in such a casual tone.

Jersey Girls had ended with Tony and Madison getting an apartment together. They'd had a rough relationship- Madison had gotten drunk (oh, the similarities between fact and fiction) and cheated on him near the end of the fourth season, and after the bumpy recovery from that disaster, a new girl with her eye on Tony had made hell for the lovebirds. They were a hit with the viewers, however, so Max gave them a happy ending. Kris, Paris' character, had ended up with Parker- a fifth and sixth season regular. Kayla had turned lesbian, and the show faded out for the last time featuring her and Mercedes (another add-on) as a couple. Lesbians were VERY in, according to Max. The OC had done it.

Lastly, the final scene had found the four girls and their respective other halves at a small picnic in Tom's River, New Jersey, drinking cheap beer and toasting new challenges. Haley's date for the finale was Ian, the years' occasional guest star who had appeared in each of the last five episodes as a matured version of his High School character, and a potential rekindling flame for Haley. Tristin DuGrey, the actor behind Ian, was currently on screen, talking about Paris Gellar.

The two had had a brief but intense romance after he'd left the show, culminating in an impromptu Las Vegas ceremony (which Rory had gotten roped into playing bridesmaid at). Their marriage had been legal for two months before she drove him crazy and he left, but there had always been a mutual respect between the both of them on the occasional Jersey Girls set after that. He was married now to another actress, after courting her much longer than the Paris situation, and Paris herself was single and lovin' it. 'Men are like winter jackets. Yea, they keep you warm. And they make you look pretty, if you didn't dig yours out of a dumpster or the salvation army bins or whatever. But they're bulky, and they hold you down. I don't want that,' had been a featured quote before Jess entered the room. But he was talking about her now in such a tone, that the two people watching who knew him personally listened attentively to the words they had rarely heard him get emotional enough to say.

"I think I knew from the start, that everything was going to go to hell. But it was one of those things, the only thing I've ever experienced, that I told myself whatever misery came out of it, it'd be worth it. I have never, and never will, love anyone with the passion, or the …the openness, that I loved Paris with. Even my wife- she's the only girl for me now, but I could never regret anything that happened with my first wife. My first love."

"That's sweet," Rory commented as they moved on to talk about the details of the Degrey/Gellar (because Paris wouldn't change her last name) marriage. "I'm surprised that he could say that with a camera in his face. I couldn't."

"Me neither. I hate the damn media."

"Hear hear." He settled back against the headboard to continue watching, a thought rolling around in his mind. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.

"They're how I found out. About you, and the, uh, the baby." It felt weird to say baby. Riley was his baby, Jane was still (and would always be) his baby girl. Another child hadn't ever been planned; two was the agreed upon amount. It occurred to him that they probably should have been using condoms or something if they were determined to keep the bar at two, but that somewhat pesky habit had ceased to exist from their wedding night and out. But he honestly had thought Rory was a little less scatterbrained about her pills than she apparently had been. The woman planned every last minute of her day, even entering things such as 'watch a movie' or 'have a snack' in her planner. It made her happy. And, while when under the influence, plans flew out the window, she was careful about only letting herself go on days when the plans weren't dire.

So the predicament they currently found themselves in, only freshly acknowledged by her, was even more of a surprise to him.

"Oh. How did they know? Does everyone know by now?"

"I think so. Some reporter saw you in a drugstore." She nodded and pursed her lips.

"Mom and Luke know," she said after a few minutes.

"Huh."

"No, I mean they know. About us."

"What about us?"

"Everything. Including that we're not doing so hot." She looked down at her lap.

"I'm in, Rory. You're the one who makes it difficult." He expected her to deny him without giving a reason, but she just nodded again.

"Mom suggested couple's therapy or something. It sounds stupid, I know, but…"

"We're gonna have a baby. I know."

"What are we gonna go, Jess? This is a bolt out of the blue, we are completely unprepared for a third child."

"We'll make it work. I'll take care of you." She offered him a weak smile.

"Like you always do."

"Right. Like I always do." He scooted towards her so he could brush his lips against her forehead, then backed off before she could object. They continued to watch the documentary in stewing silence.

'This could be my last chance to prove whatever the hell she needs me to prove,' he thought as a picture of Max played on the screen.

'He deserves so much more than me. He always has.'


	9. Tears

**someone5 – Believe it or not, this slacker struggles from high school, not college. I think my life will officially be over when I do go to college, yup yup. And about your idea…let's just say you're somewhat spot-on. **

**miloluver – I was wondering when it'd be on. March 1st. Thank you, dearest. **

**crazyfanfic – I accept your terms. **

**selina – I started writing this story before the Jude Law thing, but by the time it got up, that had happened, and I thought many people were going to draw parallels. You're the first one to do it though, so congrats on, well, I don't actually know what. Feel proud of yourself anyway!**

**Eliza – Thank you for your refreshing realism. I agree with you completely.**

They'd agreed that they needed to talk about it. 'It' being both the baby, and their marriage. But she'd asked him not to pressure her. She'd said she'd tell him when she was ready to talk, and so far, she hadn't told him. It was two weeks after she'd confessed to Jess, and not much had changed. She wasn't talking to Luke or Lorelai, she hadn't gotten a doctor's appointment yet, and she refused to mention it to anyone. Some things had changed, though. Kathy had heard on the radio, and a quick nod from Jess had assured her that it wasn't just a rumor. Rory wasn't drinking, though she had yet to pour all the alcohol down the drain like she'd done for her other children. And Jess was avoiding Mina like the plague. The blonde (who did know, but didn't say anything) was crushed; but her lover had decided that anything which could possibly get in his way with Rory was done.

The couple was currently dressing for an awards show Jess was nominated for some-or-another shiny statue at. Her light blue gown hugged all her curves benevolently, and his roaming eyes tried to catch a glimpse of a fattening stomach underneath the fabric every time her head was turned.

"Would you stop that?" Apparently, her head wasn't turned enough. He didn't reply, but only struggled with his tie. Seeing that he was on the losing side of the war, she moved forward and, without preamble, pushed his hands away and tied it herself. When she was satisfied, she let her arms drop to her sides, and stood inches from Jess. She didn't look at him, but instead turned her head to the mirror beside them, observing their reflection. Jess was baffled as she wrapped her arms around his waist, then put her hands up as if she was pushing him away. All the while checking the mirror.

"What was that? The thing with the mirror?" he had to ask a few minutes later when they were in the back of the fancy car which had been sent for them.

"Trying to see which looked right."

"Which did?"

"I don't know, Jess. Would you stop it with the interrogation already? Or would you like to hook me up to a polygraph?" He backed off, frowning. A few minutes later, though, they had arrived, and were expected to get out of the car smiling. She let him take the tips of her fingers shyly, turning up the corners of her mouth in a forced but beautiful smile. Like the perfect couple they were, they stepped onto the red carpet; her grinning, him smirking, holding hands.

The couple watching the event on TV on the 13th floor of a building a few blocks away knew that perfection was not what it appeared to be.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Bunny!" Lorelai warmly greeted her daughter as she ushered her through the door. "Rabbit," she spoke much less warmly to her son-in-law, affectionately nicknamed several years ago by mother and daughter. The named conveyed absolutely no affection now, though.

"Man to man talk," Luke growled, grabbing Jess's arm before the actor had managed to take his coat off yet.

"Luke, you're being rude to our guests," Lorelai stopped him. "At least let's provide them with refreshments before we drag them out of the room." Luke and Jess sat on opposing sofas, glaring at each other. The scene made Rory a little sad- she'd hid whatever problems she'd been having with Jess for precisely this reason; she didn't want the family split over it. Because Luke and Lorelai would obviously take her side, even though over the years they'd developed soft spots for Jess. He was Luke's only living family other than Liz, and he was Lorelai's only daughter's supposed 'love of her life'. He'd scored points on both accounts, and both Danes' tolerated him at the very least.

"Nuts?" Lorelai offered the group. They declined, so she took a generous handful, in an effort to set an example.

"So. You lost," Luke commented, speaking of the Awards show they'd just attended. Jess shrugged.

"He was better than me. Didn't expect to, so no biggie."

"Aw, there's no reporters here. Don't have to be the big man, Jess. Go ahead and get emotional."

"I said I didn't expect to win."

"Still, shouldn't there be tears?"

"I think I'm man enough not to cry because some faceless group of old 'business' people didn't pick me as their personal favorite, thank you very much."

"Pass the nuts, Mom," Rory broke in, trying to stop the brewing conflict. Neither man behaved as if they'd heard her.

"No, that's the thing. Men deal with their problems, they don't run away to something else, or someone else. So I don't think you deserve to call yourself a man."

"If you're talking about what I think you're talking about, you have no right to pass judgment. On it, or any other part of my life!"

"When a little girl that I love is crying on my sofa, you bet your ass I'm going to do a hell of a lot more than pass judgment."

"Luke, keep your voice down! Matti's trying to sleep!" Lorelai shushed.

"I'm not a little girl!" Rory insisted at the same time.

"Really? Because when you and Lorelai were fighting last year, and she spent a weekend crying in my guest room, I didn't say jack to you."

"Worlds of difference, Jess."

"No, I don't think so."

"Yes, because Lorelai and I may have been fighting, but I didn't even think about finding someone else." Jess snorted.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I? I know you're not being faithful to Rory." Silence greeted this outburst. None of the room's occupants had been deceived as to the topic being discussed, but directly saying it called for a few moments of stinging reflection.

"I asked you to drop it," Rory finally said, sounding tired.

"You don't just 'drop' something this serious, Rory." Lorelai's scolding deepened the frowns on every face in the room.

"Watch her," Jess muttered. He sounded as put-out as her parents were, which only served to make her feel like she was being ganged-up on.

"Jess, let's go."

"Sounds good." The two stood up without further words, and walked to the door together. He opened it and exited first, and she stood in the doorway. Looking back at her mother and the man who had completely replaced her father in every way, she watched them gape at her.

"You can't let him-" Lorelai started, but Rory cut her off.

"I can't do a lot of things." She left, closing the door softly behind her.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Jess was waiting for her in the back of the fancy car that was all theirs tonight. In days past, he would have spent the entire ride home trying to persuade her to join him in doing something dirty with the driver only a few feet away, separated from their world by a thin piece of plastic. She'd given in only once, but the thought still made her neck flush. Tonight, though, he didn't proposition.

Instead, he was pawing through the bag they'd brought along filled with books and music. She could normally tell how he was feeling through the book he chose. She'd seen him put Cat's Cradle in the bag, which would indicate a playful, funny mood. She'd also seen him stow Fahrenheit 451, and if he selected that one, she'd know he wasn't too pleased with something. Namely her. His arm withdrew from the fabric, and she saw Helter Skelter.

Not good.

"What are you so mad about?" He just shook his head, realizing how she'd immediately sized him up and determined what was raging around inside of him. She never gave him opportunities to do the same, keeping to the same book for all moods and submoods.

"You told them."

"I told you I told them. Not the first you've heard of it."

"Yes, but I thought that by telling them that I was sleeping with Mina,"-it felt strange saying those words aloud, because he'd never actually told anyone before, much less Her- "You'd throw in some other details. Like how you never let me touch you most of the time. And how when you do, it's a matter of hours before you turn back into the Ice Queen, leaving me dangling. And how you don't change in front of me anymore. And how I had to find out we were having a baby from some lady named Tiffany or Stephanie or something ending with –any. You know, just something to make them not think I was sleeping with Mina,"-again, weird- "for kicks."

"I didn't hold anything back. It's not my fault if they value the bonds of marriage a little more than you, and chose to focus on that little detail."

"And then we left. You had to rip even that little bit of real emotion from me, didn't you? You know, someday, one of us is going to come to our senses, and fill out some paperwork. And I'll be so confused when I go out on my own, because I'm not used to people acting how they really feel."

"I won't be the one filling out the paperwork."

"Well, it won't be me either."

"Guess you'll always be sheltered."

"Fine. If you're really going to pull the I-don't-care-no-matter-what-you-do act, I was going to drop Mina. Now, I think I might just go see her tonight. Mind sleeping alone?"

"I'd prefer it, actually." Now they both were steaming mad. His book had been thrown to a parallel seat at some point, and he gesticulated angrily.

"Then it's settled. She wears what few emotions she has on her sleeves. Not that she'll be wearing sleeves when I'm done with her." Tears threatened to spill from Rory's eyes now, though she had to hold them back. That was what this whole thing was about, right, not caring? Well, at least in part. But still, it was difficult. He'd NEVER spoken to her about his other activities before, much less like that.

"Go to Hell."

"What? Did I touch a nerve? Provoke a response?"

"I'm serious. Send me a nice post card. 'Dear Rory. Ow. Love Jess.'" A tear did slip down her cheek, and she hurried to wipe it away. He was beginning to regret this whole talk, but he'd made progress. Another tear became his goal.

"You're the pregnant one, true, but I feel like it's kind of wasted on you. I mean, I get so much more…interesting, a response from her. So much more fun. A little better, if you know what I mean." He'd crossed so many lines here, both on her side and his. He was openly lying-nothing could compare to being with the girl he loved-and she was shaking from the effort it took to pen her tears in.

"Have I said go to Hell yet?"

"And a follow up comment."

"Go to a deeper Hell, then."

"So witty she is."

"Stop it before this baby doesn't have a daddy."

"You're going to kill me out of passiveness? Don't think the courts will buy that."

"Stop it."

"Why? Don't tell me you're- gasp!- Angry?"

"Stop it!" And the dam burst.

She skittered away from him sideways on the long, leather seat, like a crab. Drawing her legs up to her chest, she held her head as she cried. Slowly, he inched towards her.

"Don't touch me." For once, raw emotion clogged her voice. She was pregnant, she was betrayed, she was screwed up. She hurt, and yet, at the same time, she felt better. It had been so long since she'd last cried, not counting post-pregnancy test. Then, she'd been in pain, but she still held things in. Now, she felt somewhat more at ease. And she hoped she'd continued to feel more at ease the more she cried, because the reality of her stopping probably wouldn't happen soon.

"I'm sorry," his voice cut through her choking and sputtering. "I shouldn't have said those things. I just got carried away."

"I know. Still don't touch me." He complied, going back to his book as he listened to the feeling in the corner of the car. They were almost home when she looked up at him, almost breaking into a fresh round at the sight.

"Is she really better than me?"

"No. I'm a liar."

"Not a liar, a hider," she honestly replied. He nodded slowly.

"If it makes you feel better, I don't plan on ever touching her again."

"It should, but it doesn't."

"Look, Ror." He set down his book again, forgetting to mark the page in his solemn earnestness to talk. "I won't apologize for her, and for the others. Because there's no way 'sorry' could cover that. I can already tell it will haunt me- just know that."

"Well, I'm not fucking forgiving."

"I don't expect you to." She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue she'd found conveniently in the car.

"I want her out. Suitcase packed, jobless, terminated. Out of my house, away from you." He nodded, realizing he owed her anything she asked for. "And…I still want to go to therapy. If you'll go, that is."

"I'll go."

"Good. I'm going to go cry more now."

"Got it."

"And you'll be on the couch tonight, if not for the next several days."

"Got it."

"And I've never hated anyone as much as I'm allowing myself to hate you now."

"Got it." His throat was scratchy as he was forced to acknowledge that statement so casually. But she had let loose another wave of sobs, and there was nothing left for either of them to say.


	10. Help Wanted

**LitGG1982 – Thank you so much for your review; it made me feel incredibly special. Don't stop writing though! **

**So after all the drama of last chapter, I thought I'd provide a little comic relief. This chapter's been sitting 9/10 done on my computer for like a week, and I had no will whatsoever to finish it. A little email I recently received changed that though. It went like this:**

_Dear Bittersweetbloodbaby,_

_Your story "Lights, Camera, Action!" has been nominated at Walk Away Awards. Please respond to this email stating whether you want to accept or decline this nomination. If you decline, your nominations will be taken off of the site. _

**And that's when I decided, gleefully, to try and work harder at this writing thing. Because no one's ever nominated me for a fanfiction award before! Thank you to whomever did this! **

Mina cracked her bubble gum loudly as she skimmed the pages of the latest People Magazine, giggling at the fashion faux pas page. Celebrities were so funny. They thought they were God's gift to mankind or some crap, and that the little people around them should cater to their every whim, regardless of their actual opinions. This was evident in the outfits depicted here, the decision to wear them obviously backed up by stupid Yes Men.

She knew was these people were like firsthand, because she lived with two of them. Rory Mariano was a Class A example of a famous, whiny bitch. She had every opportunity, every luxury, every comfort. She had money, looks, fame, and Jess. And what did she do all day? Sit around and get stupid. And no one even tried to tell her that she should cut it out and get her act together. Mina had been one of Rory's biggest fans upon being hired, and it hadn't taken her long to realize that her boss was a sad excuse for a mother and wife. She only pretended to gush over her now because Jess wasn't happy during her few and fleeting moments of opposition to his wife.

Jess was different. He was cool, he was composed, he was completely aware of everything going on around him. He didn't care what the people around him thought, and he acted like a person completely content with whatever he had in life, be it meal cards or millions. HE was special. Special in general, and special to her. He treated her with genuine respect, though he was always afraid of acting like he cared about her. Years with Rory had ruined him, and Mina hated the woman for that. But she was convinced that, given time, she could help Jess. She could show him that there were other options out there besides his dork bride, and then SHE would be the one in the magazines, on his arm, wearing the pretty dresses.

Jess didn't BS with her. She knew he'd had other relationships like this, but she was confident in her ability to finally be the one to lure him away from Rory. Why not? She was young and blonde, with dazzling green eyes, sexy but minimal curves, and boobs three times the size of Rory's. Granted, this little pregnancy oopsie was a setback, but it was just another challenge she could easily surpass with time.

She had her strategy planned out. It wasn't that hard; let Jess play with her whenever he wanted until she sensed that he couldn't go without her for very long, then withhold favors until he agreed to certain things, i.e. moving out of Rory's room, getting rid of that retarded bitchy maid, going stag to publicity events, etc. From then on, it was a simple matter of kicking Rory out, filing for divorce, and keeping the kids. She liked Riley and Jane, so of course they wouldn't go near their mother if she had anything to say about it.

She smiled as she popped another bubble. She was so completely zonked out in her daydream, that she didn't hear the knocking on her door until it got louder and angrier.

"Come in?" she answered, as the door swung open to reveal Rory still in her event dress.

"Pack your bags." She turned and left, leaving the door open and Mina staring speechlessly. A few seconds later, Jess sheepishly appeared in the doorway. Breaking into a smile, Mina hopped up and bounced over to him for a kiss, but he held her at arm's length.

"She means it."

"Huh?"

"Rory. She just fired you. And I can't and won't do anything about it." She blinked, confused. Uh, hello? Master plan?

"Why?"

"Why do you think?" He sounded tired, so she didn't push. Instead she pacified, taking one of his wrists in her hands and tracing little squiggles on it.

"Maybe she'll change her mind by tomorrow." The unspoken message was clear. It was a bit too early for this phase of the plan, but he needed to fight against Rory's constricting reign.

"I don't think so." He reclaimed his hand, looking both angry and embarrassed.

"Well, I still think you should say something on my behalf. At least, that'd be nice. Otherwise, it'll be hard for me and you to sneak around." She got a little closer, so if he looked down he'd see directly down her shirt. He seemed to sense this, and didn't look down.

"We can't do that anymore. I can't do that anymore. I'm sorry. Pack your bags." He left coldly and quickly, as she gaped at the closing door like a fish.

She really hated Rory Mariano.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"You kicked her out?" Marty asked, flabbergasted. Rory appeared quite proud of herself as she told him this, in between scenes.

"Told her to pack her bags, and then I went to bed. The door slamming woke me up, but then I zonked out again, and when I woke up, she was gone! Just like that!"

"You're really happy about this," Marty commented with a genuine smile. Rory rarely stood up for herself where her private life was concerned, so the fact that she'd done something so outrageous as fire the mistress was a big step. And not only that, she was still glowing in the aftermath of the event.

"I am." The smile faded a little. "But now I need a new nanny. Kathy's watching them today, but she has other stuff to do, not to mention the fact that we're paying her for one job when she's covering two." Marty shrugged.

"Give her a raise."

"She won't let us, but even if we did, this can only be a temporary thing. I need to find an available girl with experience in childcare, but who won't try to seduce my husband."

"NOW you throw that qualification in." She shoved him playfully, but looked like she'd taken the remark harder than he'd meant it.

"To top it all off, I don't have time to interview a dozen candidates. We're swamped for the next month up here, and I have to finish writing the New York episode." He gaped at her.

"You told me you finished that!"

"Yea, well, I thought I did too. But then I went over it, and realized that what was meant to be a deep but friendly conversation between Charlotta and Clyde had way too many intimate undertones."

"We're setting up Clyde to be with Darla."

"I know, so I had to rewrite that. And then I realized that when that scene changed, half of the episode felt funky, so I had to go back and change that. And then, I discovered that my spell check was going, and I had to edit the entire thing from credits to credits."

"And during all this, you found when time to get pregnant?"

"It only takes a few minutes, Marty dear. I guess you forget things like that when you're with a guy." He blushed as she laughed at him, and then he smacked his forehead.

"Brad! That reminds me- he took me to his step-brother Chester's for dinner a few weeks ago, and the step-brother's wife was telling us how she'd gotten laid off from the preschool she worked at because they discovered asbestos in the walls, and most of the parents had enrolled their children in a rival preschool!"

"I'm interested," Rory said, indicating him to go on. Someone called their names from the set a few yards away, and Marty held up a hand.

"Her name is Tana Schrick-Fleet. She's in her early twenties, and obviously has experience taking care of kids, but I don't think she'll try anything with Jess. First of all, she's married, and second of all…well, you'd have to meet her. I don't think she'd put two and two together."

"She's stupid?" Rory puzzled with a raised eyebrow.

"Nah, she's like a genius. Her family is apparently really ticked that she's teaching preschool, because the plan was for her to be a professor. But she's a little…clueless. She's much too shy and much too sweet to do anything with Jess, even if she figured out that there was no physical force preventing two married people from cheating on their spouses." Their names were shouted again, more urgently this time. They began heading toward them as Rory told Marty,

"Get me her number, she sounds like a Godsend. You rock, Marty!"

"I try."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Mrs. Mariano!" the nurse called out into the almost-empty waiting room. Rory, the only occupant, put down the Tiger Beat she'd picked up from an end table and made her way to the door the smiling woman leaned out of. "How are you today, Mrs. Mariano?"

"I'm fine, thanks," Rory said through clenched teeth. The only other person who called her 'Mrs. Mariano' like that was Mina, and she'd rather not think of the skank at this moment.

"Can you lie down for me?" the nurse asked once they reached the examination room, and Rory complied wordlessly. The little table was uncomfortable, but it was an exclusive doctor's office, so she had no doubts there were even less comfortable tables like it out there. After taking her temperature, blood pressure, height, and weight, the woman slipped the cute little clipboard she'd recorded Rory's vital stats on in a bin by the door.

"Dr. Cho will be in to see you in a minute." She left Rory all alone to stare at the 'Your Digestive Tract!' poster on the wall. Dr. Cho had become the family doctor when baby Jane developed a nasty cold one day, and had stayed in his position ever since. A high-rate, highly-rated NYC doctor, he only catered to rich patients, but he took excellent care of said patients. He'd been the man to do practically everything for Riley's birth but catch the little boy as he made his spectacular entrance, and it appeared he'd be along for the ride once more.

"Rory Mariano! So good to see you! My daughter saw the news on MTV, and she told me to expect you any day soon."

"Well, here I am."

"Yes, here you are. And about time, too. I was beginning to think you'd gone across the street!" His cheerful professional smile dropped for a second as he scowled in the direction of the window, where a shiny building with the words "Dr. Appleman, M.D." could be seen above the street entrance. But when he looked back at Rory, he was grinning again.

"I'm sorry. I had some issues to deal with before I could nerve myself up to making this appointment."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I can recommend you to a great psychiatrist I know if that's something you're interested in checking out." She almost responded no before remembering what she'd told Jess several weeks ago. Counseling wasn't out of the question. In fact, it would probably be beneficial.

"Sure, I'll do some research if you give me their name." He beamed at her, secretly thrilled to further the gospel of his former Intro Psyche professor, Dr. Drella Bigley. He called the nurse in and asked her to get Dr. Bigley's card before pulling out Rory's file and beginning his own examinations.

"How long since you've known you were pregnant?"

"About four weeks."

"And you confirmed it how?" he asked as he scribbled in her folder.

"At-home test. Well, it wasn't actually taken at home, but that's what it's called."

"I believe I've heard of them," he joked. "And since then, any problems or strange occurrences? Bleeding, stomach cramps, feeling faint, etc?"

"No, no, and no. I was a little nauseous the past few mornings, but that's not really strange under circumstances."

"Sadly, you're right about that. Now, I'm going to give you a little stick not unsimilar to the original at-home test you took, and let you go in the bathroom down the hall to provide it with substance to analyze. When you get back, we'll take a little prick of blood, and that should be all for this visit." She took the device he handed her, not really wanting to repeat the process of waiting for results again. She KNEW she was pregnant, but she didn't really want to experience any déjà vu on this subject. It would have been easier if Jess was here, like in the good old days, but he and the already out-of-the-womb kids were up in Canada. Rory would be going home to an almost empty house, with only Kathy for company. And though she loved Kathy like a favorite aunt, she wasn't the person whom Rory should be talking to immediately after this doctor's appointment.

But, ever the complaisant, she padded down the hallway to the miniscule yet immaculate bathroom. This felt very familiar...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Rory, Dr. Cho is on the phone for you," Kathy said from where she stood by the counter. Rory looked up from her oatmeal-covered son who just seemed to get livelier as his oatmeal-covered mother got more and more irritated.

"Hands kinda full, Kathy. Can you put him on speakerphone?" The correct button was pushed, and the kind Korean doctor's voice filled the kitchen.

"Hello Rory, its Dr. Cho. How are you doing today?"

"Maternally homicidal," she quipped as she tried yet again to shove the plastic spoon of oatmeal into her son's mouth. She failed as Jess walked into the room with Jane hanging from his waist.

"You are not a human being, you are a monkey," he told her as Kathy shushed him and pointed to the phone.

"Uh huh... So anyway, I'm just calling to confirm what you already knew. Congratulations, you're pregnant! I'll have my secretary call you with a list of good appointment times for next week, which is when I want to see you again. Have a nice day, and by the way, as a health care provider I feel the need to point out the obvious problems with killing whichever child-"

"Riley Charles Mariano!"

"With killing Riley. I know it's tempting, but I think you'll regret it in the long run." He hung up after wishing them a nice day once more, and Kathy had to hit several buttons before it was confirmed that the speaker feature was indeed turned off.

"Technology," she grumbled as she saw the mess Riley was creating on the floor alone (there was also quite a mess on Riley, the table, the highchair, the walls, and his mommy), and headed for the supply closet. Jane tugged on her father's pant leg after he had successfully shed her from his body.

"Like heck you're getting up again. It took me twenty minutes to shake you."

"What's pagan?" He stared at her oddly.

"Where in the world did you hear that?" She waved her arms wildly around as Jess scrunched up his eyebrows. "Where?"

"She means pregnant, she heard it on the voice that just filled the kitchen, and she wants to know what it means because she obviously didn't understand and doesn't remember it from when you told her Riley was coming," Kathy commented matter-of-factly as she came back into the kitchen.

"Uh, Rory? Help?" At that moment Riley's oatmeal bowl clanged off the refrigerator door, and Rory grabbed the toddler out of his seat, his face welling up.

"I'm a little busy, Jess!"

"Down! Down!"

"Daddy, tell me what it means!"

"Down! Down!"

"Oh, you're not getting down until you've reached the bathtub, mister."

"Looks like you've got to field this one by yourself, Jess."

"Please tell me Daddy! Is it a secret?"

"Rory, are you sure I shouldn't wait for you to be there so we can tell her together?"

"DOWN! DOWN!"

"I think you're fully capable of handling it by yourself, Jess. Having testosterone does not make you incapable of explaining-RILEY YOU'RE HURTING MOMMY!"

"DOWN! DOWN!"

"I'm good at secrets, Daddy!"

"Jess, just talk to you daughter."

"RILEY WANT DOWN!


	11. Domestic Days

**LitGG1982 – Thank you so much for your review; it made me feel incredibly special. Don't stop writing though! **

"Please, call us Rory and Jess."

"Are you sure? If you don't want me to call you Mr. and Mrs. Mariano, I could call you Mom and Dad. It's actually less confusing for younger children."

"Uh no, you don't have to call us Mom and Dad. Rory and Jess will work just fine."

"You're positive about this?"

"Very positive."

"I don't know, I feel like I'm overstepping my boundaries."

"Tana." Rory took the girl by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. "You are not a slave, you are an honorary member of the family. Rory and Jess."

"Well if you say so." Rory turned and continued walking, making a mental note to pop a few aspirin while showing Tana the bathroom off the nanny's room. The girl was driving her a little bit insane...but she'd calmed a fussing Riley with a two-verse lullaby upon entering the house, and Rory had been about ready to build a statue to her new employee. Plus, she noted looking at Tana's oversized sweater, librarian-worthy skirt, and prominently displayed wedding ring, there was no way Jess would be shacking up with this one.

Of course, her skills with children were the real reason she was being hired. Really.

"And this is your room, though since you'll be living with Chester for a few months, it can just serve as a chill-out space."

"Until he goes to Uganda. Is it still alright if I stay with you while he's in Uganda?"

"It's more than alright. Why is he going to Uganda again?"

"Peace Corps."

"Yes, the Peace Corps. Wish him luck for me."

"Oh, sure thing. Oh! This is my room?"

"I know, the last occupant painted it pink while I was out of town. 'Oh, your husband said it was fine! If I'd have known you'd be upset, I'd never have dreamed of doing it!' Jess promised to call the painters, but I know for a fact he hasn't gotten on it yet. Just tell me what color you want, I left some samples on the dresser, and it'll be ready by the time Chester leaves."

"Oh, the pink is fine! I just meant 'Oh' as in it's so lovely! You don't have to paint it, it's already the nicest bedroom I've ever seen! Unless you want to paint it, because it is your house, you know-" Rory took her by the shoulders again, foreseeing that this might be a common occurrence.

"Tana. I don't like the pink, and I have the feeling you'd be much happier with a less...Pepto Bismol-y color. Look through the paint chips, and tell me which one is your favorite. I'd be happy to buy you a bedset that goes with it, and then you're ready to roll." Tana's eyes looked close to tearing, so Rory awkwardly hugged her. "Look at me more as a friend than a boss. I'd rather have a friend take care of my children than some stale servant anyway." Tana was stuttering her eternal gratitude when Rory noticed something over the girl's shoulder.

"Bitch!"

"I'm so sorry! It wasn't my fault the walls had asbestos in them!"

"No, no not you Tana sweetie. Mina took the TV."

"Oh that's fine, I don't need a TV."

"Oh, you're getting a TV. A bigger, better TV than she had. C'mon, I want you to meet my husband." She led Tana downstairs to where Jess had just come in the kitchen, and was snacking on a bowl of frozen grapes Kathy had placed in front of him.

"We heard the garage door." He looked up at them, his cheeks puffed out with the fruit. Rory rolled her eyes. "You're worse than your children! Now I know why Riley hasn't swallowed anything in days."

"Es thhis thhe nahe?" He swallowed. "My apologies. Is this the nanny?"

"Yes. Tana, meet Jess. Jess, meet Tana Shrick-Fleet, our new child care provider." Tana shuffled forward to shake his hand with wide eyes. "I've just been showing her around the house. She starts on Sunday, but she's already working her magic around here."

"Nice to meet you, Tana. I'd have liked to be there for your interview, but it wasn't at all important to my wife that I be, so she didn't even bother trying to find a time that worked for both of us."

"Sweetheart, guess what I just discovered?" Rory asked him in a tone that suggested frozen honey, if it is truly possible for honey to freeze. "When Mina moved out, she took the TV in her room with her."

"It was a 12-inch screen, Rory. It's not even worth the trouble talking about it to replace it."

"I know that, but it just irks me that she stole from us as her final act of gratitude for giving her a job and a place to live. And it also irks me that you were in that room so often as to easily remember the size of the TV."

"I have to use the bathroom," Tana instantly declared. She scampered from the room as Rory and Jess looked quizzically at her back.

"You scared her off," Rory accused.

"She realized we were about to fight, and left. The girl didn't look like much for confrontation."

"We're not about to fight, I just...I just don't like Mina."

"Understandable."

"And I didn't think you'd care about the interview. I made you sit through some last time, and I'm still convinced you were sleeping with your eyes open."

"Okay, I'm sorry for saying it."

"Well, good. No fighting. I really don't want her to get that first impression." She moved to the table to pick up a grape as Jess looked at her with amazement. "What are you looking at?"

"Did Rory Gilmore just communicate?"

"It's Mariano, and yes. Don't make a big deal out of it." He moved closer and pinned her against the table playfully.

"It used to take major surgery to pull something like that out of you. What changed?" She shrugged.

"Dr. Cho gave me a shrink's card, and I really feel like proving her unnecessary. I don't want to go to a shrink. I don't want to discuss my personal problems with a stranger."

"Then we won't go." She sighed as she pushed him away.

"You know we should."

"Fine then, we will."

"But I don't want to."

"You're pretty whiny, you know that right?"

"Yea. Do you think one of us should go get Tana? I still have to show her where the emergency numbers are."

"I'll find her if you want."

"Thanks."

"And don't overthink the TV thing. We'll never hear from her again, so just forget about it."

He found Tana in the playroom, listening as Jane eagerly talked her unfamiliar ears off.

"So Mommy has a BABY growing inside her! A baby! A real, live baby! It's true, Daddy told me! And when I'm a little older, it'll come out, and I'll have a new brother or a sister! I really want a sister, but a brother wouldn't be really bad. Riley's my brother, and I don't not like him."

"Tana, Rory wants to show you something in the kitchen. Jane, Miss Tana will be around to play with you quite often, so save some of your stories for later, okay?"

"Like the one where my head was stuck in the porch?"

"Yes, that's one of your better stories I think."

"And the one where Mommy fell asleep in the sandbox."

"Another classic."

"And the one where no one knew where I was because I was hiding in you and Mommy's shower?"

"A cautionary tale. Miss Tana will like that."

"And the one where Riley crawled under the sink and I closed the door and no one's found him yet?"

"Yea-wait, when did that happen?"

"I don't know."

"Yet?"

"Read me a book, Daddy!"

"Jane Elizabeth Mariano, which sink is your brother under?"

"Maybe the one where I brush my teeth."

"Oh, your butt is SO in time-out, young lady. RILEY! Daddy's coming!"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Jess collapsed in bed next to Rory's dormant form, utterly fatigued. Riley had refused to get in the bathtub without a fight roughly equal (in both force and amount of water distributed throughout the bathroom) to that of a small tsunami. And after Jess, still sopping, had finished wrestling the little boy into bed, Jane had appeared downstairs, crying, wanting him to 'Monster Proof' her room. It had taken every spare pillow in the house shoved under her bed, a search for a long-lost key which locked her closet door, and a great deal of ducktape around her window seams before she was willing to go back to sleep. And then, there was still the bathroom and all objects displaced during the key search to clean up. Tana wasn't working yet, Kathy was for all intents and purposes Off Duty, and Rory had disappeared early on in the bathing process, after putting Jane to bed for the first time. So poor Jess, ever the househusband, had been forced to tackle (in Riley's case, literally) both screaming children. And he was the very definition of exhausted at that moment.

He was just about to close his eyes and drift off, without undressing or splashing water on his priceless, movie star face, when Rory rolled over. She normally slept with her back to him, but occasionally would shift in her sleep. On those occasions, Jess had always been careful not to disturb her, lest she wake up and found herself quite close to her husband. Willing her to get just a little closer, so he could hold onto something as he slept, he was surprised to see her eyelids flutter.

"You're wet." She sounded only semi-groggy, meaning she had probably not been sleeping at all. Resting, yes, but aware of his entrance into the room, and his lying down beside her.

"Riley rebelled."

"Something tells me he's going to be a tough teenager." Yawning, she peeled the wet shirt away from his stomach, and draped her arm across the warm skin. She snuggled her head into his pillow as all signs indicated her departure for dreamland. Jess, however, was now wide awake. When was the last time Rory had slept like this? Not just touching Jess, but snuggling Jess?

'And I really feel like proving her unnecessary. I don't want to go to a shrink,' her words from earlier floated back to him. Was that what had prompted this change? Pure stubbornness? Or was she still riding the waves of good feelings that had come from firing Mina? Or even, maybe...nah. A change that sudden wouldn't just happen over night. She wouldn't just go back to happy, bubbly Rory from her Madison-and-Tony days at the drop of a hat. Or would she? Jess would be the first to admit that he had no idea what Rory was capable of anymore.

All this thinking just made him even more confused, and Rory's soft breathing brought the tiredness back to him. He buried his face into her brown curls, and fell asleep with her scent tantalizing his nose.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

On many a morning, the Ice Queen had woken up to find that her man had stolen the covers during the course of the night. She wasn't sure if it was out of response to her shutting him out, or if it was completely unintentional. In the old days, she would sleep so close to him, she had no before/after to compare. So she'd awake very alone, all isolated on her side of the bed, and very cold.

Today, though, she was waking up warm. Most every bit of flesh exposed by her somewhat flimsy (had she really teased Jess like that, but refrained from giving in so much of the time) nightgown was touching some part of him in someway. One of his hands had slipped completely innocently between her thighs, and kept the gap between them nice and toasty. His warm breath tickled her neck, and an arm slung dazedly around her shoulders prevented her back from getting chilly. It was a nice way to wake up, not even counting feelings it was stirring in her stomach.

She should have been pulling away at that point, but she forced herself to stay still, at least until Jess began to stir, so as not to break the peaceful look on his face.

And to her surprise, it was much easier than she'd thought it'd be.


	12. Let's Pretend

**LitGG1982 - When writing an AU, I tend to slip away from the basic Girls plot, so I frequently throw in 'recyclable characters' to ground myself a little. Tana Shrick, from season 4, is the new nanny, and her boyfriend, Chester Fleet, is her husband. Don't really think he'll be making an appearance, but I thought the hyphen made Tana seem more schoolmarm-y. **

"So, I had an idea I wanted to run past you." Rory looked up from _The Magician's Nephew _to see Jess standing in front of her, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Run it."

"Tana starts this weekend, right? And you're not working this weekend, right?"

"Right on both accounts."

"And it just so happens that I'm not working either. So that's when I got this great idea that I did a little research on, and wanted to run past you."

"And now we've gone full circle. What is your brilliant idea, Jess?" she asked as she marked her page and closed her book, giving him her undivided attention.

"Well, I was thinking about how on-the-fence you are about this therapy thing, and I realized that I'm not too hot on it myself. So then I remembered that fight we had a few years ago, before Jane was born, when Todd and Kyle, er, talked me into going to that Gentlemen's Club with them- do you remember that?"

"Oh yes." She obviously spoke the truth, because her arms crossed as she said this.

"Well, you were pretty pissed off. It wasn't fun. But-miracle of miracles- I was able to talk you into taking a little trip with me."

"To Spain," she said softly.

"Yep. Come to think of it, I'm pretty certain that's where Jane was conceived. But my point is, it worked. I got to spend some time alone with you, grovel properly, win your forgiveness. It was really good for us. And we've been all over the place lately- not really spending much time alone, and the time alone we did have, for the most part, wasn't very long."

"You want to go away?" she asked, frowning. Her facial expression made his confident one waver slightly, but he forged on.

"It can't hurt, right? And it's way preferable to Dr. What's her name." She bit her lip, thinking. "Please, Ror?" He sat down on the coffee table in front of the couch she reclined on, his depreciated position and wide eyes making him look extremely humbled in her eyes.

"Where are we going?" she asked finally, giving in. The thought of a whole weekend with no one but him made her a little uncomfortable, but his carefully thought-out words had a truth she could not deny. His face lit up.

"Wherever you want. We could go to Spain again, or we could go to England...we could hit France...I hear the Caribbean is lovely this time of year." She opened her book again, finding where she'd left off. She resumed reading as he sat in front of her, wondering if she'd say anything else. When he'd finally given up and was on his way out of the living room, her voice carried over to him.

"I've always wanted to go to France with you." He spun around and swept her an exaggerated bow, faking a French accent.

"But of course, Madame." He finished exiting the room, only to have her brush past him on her hurried way upstairs.

"Sorry, gotta pack," she called as an apology.

She reached the landing and jogged from there into her room. After standing on a stepstool to reach her designer luggage from its place on the very top shelf of her closet, she paused.

Exactly what was she supposed to bring? What was Jess thinking as far as this little trip went? Was he thinking lots of long, important conversations? Was he thinking see the sights? Was he thinking romantic? What was going on behind those damn dark eyes of his?

He came into the room, grabbed his wallet, and left (if she'd been paying attention this morning at breakfast, she'd know where to). After a few more minutes of standing stationary, she picked up the phone by their bed, and dialed her mother's number.

"Greetings Earthling," Lorelai said in a funny, metallic voice on the other end. Rory rolled her eyes.

"Most women calm down by your age."

"Aw, it's my little daughter. The one whom I have many embarrassing baby photo albums of," she threatened.

"Well, who'd want one of them for their mother? That's what I'd like to know."

"What's up, Bunny?"

"I'm wondering something. Jess and I are apparently going to France for the weekend, and I don't know what to bring." Silence on the other end. "Mom?"

"You and Jess are going to France? As in I-see-London..."

"One and the same," Rory responded as she rolled her eyes.

"Why?"

"Well, it's basically a last ditch effort to squeak out of having to go into therapy."

"And you're okay with this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because it sounds like he's trying to worm his way out of trouble over the Mina thing by taking you some place fancy. I really don't think, under the circumstances, that you should let that fly."

"Can you not say the M-word?" They'd talked on the phone a few days after Mina's departure, and tempers had become very heated between mother and daughter. Rory really just wanted Lorelai's advice, without having to endure another you're-just-going-to-let-it-slide? lecture, and her mother wasn't too keen on hearing its-my-fault-too again.

"Masticate? But what if I had a really good closing remark on the subject?"

"Then use the word chew, like everyone else, including yourself. What am I supposed to bring to France?"

"A passport."

"Other than my passport."

"Pepperspray."

"France has a much lower crime rate than our nation, mother."

"I meant for Jess." Rory sighed.

"I'm not going to get anything useful out of you, am I?"

"I'm rallying Anti-Jess. Look outside your house. I'm the one with the megaphone."

"Well then, I'm going to have to cut this conversation short. It's Wednesday, and I'll assume we're leaving Friday. Lane might be more sympathetic to my plot."

"Meaning you haven't told her Jess is a C-H-E-A-T-E-R yet."

"Even if you spell it, it makes me somewhat upset."

"Then you're right; it's time to cut the talk short. Send me a postcard from France...let me know if Jess hooked up with any nice French girls there."

"Goodbye." It was hard to get angry with Lorelai when she was verbalizing some of Rory's internal rage, but she wouldn't expose herself too long to it. The last thing she needed was to jump on the 'Jess's fault' bandwagon, not when she was carrying his child. And it really wasn't all Jess's fault, despite whatever her mom might believe.

She called Lane, excited at the prospect of talking to her friend for the first time in weeks. Lane was actually home for once, and answered the phone on the fifth ring. After giddy pleasantries, Rory explained the situation.

"So it's good to know you're doing better. The last time I saw you together- at your Mom's, a few months ago- you were kind of harsh with him."

"Just a little spat, you know how it is," Rory lied through her teeth.

"So I still don't get what you need my help for. A weekend with no work, no kids, no distractions? And you're calling me wondering if you should bring solid or see-through underwear?"

"So you're saying he definitely meant it as a romantic thing?"

"Why wouldn't he have?" She wished she could explain the whole situation to Lane, but she didn't want yet another person judging her relationship. Mom and Luke were bad enough, not to mention Kathy and their former nannies.

"Things have just been...weird lately. We haven't been so close, physically and sexually and all that."

"Well, it's obviously not as bad as you make it sound, because you've got baby number three on the way." Lane sounded awed by this last thought, so Rory rambled on for a few minutes about doctor's appointments and her thoughts for making the white guest room into a nursery. Soon, though, she steered them back to the original topic.

"How did he sound when he suggested it?"

"Like he really wanted me to say yes."

"Well then, you're entitled to set the pace for the weekend, so it doesn't matter what he originally thought."

"You think?"

"Of course. By showing how much he wanted you to accept, he implied, consciously or no, that every little detail concerning your getaway is for YOU to decide."

"Does it really work like that?"

"Don't question me, I spend most of my time on a tour bus with three of them. I know them and their ways. Them being men."

"So it's up to me to decide what I want, is what you're saying?"

"100 percent."

"Okay, now tell me what I want."

"No can do, that's for Rory to decide."

"Lane, I don't know what I want to do!"

"Sorry hun. But all decisions concerning your sex life with Jess get made by YOU." They made a few girlish closing remarks, and Rory hung up with still no idea what to take.

She conjured up a scenario in her head to help her, one in which she and Jess were goofy newlyweds going away to get over a stupid, brief offense. It had worked a few years ago, and it worked now; her luxurious suitcase was full of a few practical items, but for the most part all sorts of sexy things. She'd been hesitant at first, but letting herself get wrapped up in the past had helped. When Jess came back from a studio meeting later that night, she met him at the foot of the stairs.

"Can we pretend this weekend?"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Picking at her sparkly purple nail polish, bored, Mina Saunders looked around the newsroom she'd found her way to. It wasn't really a newsroom, technically, but the headquarters of a sleazy new tabloid called "Popularity." Most of the office was designated to photographs, but a small section housed two cubicles with four writers. Mina and another young, blonde girl sat on a shabby bench not unlike the one in the office at her high school (Oh, when she'd made out with Mr. Debule in the science lab storage room, that had been rich explaining it to the principal), waiting for one of the reporters to finish the headline they were trying to draft. 

One of the writers, an older woman whose gray roots showed from under her fiery red job, finally came up to the younger girl, whose name, Mina soon discovered, was Allison. She claimed to have been propositioned by some famous rapper, but wanted money before she divulged who. Though they were a newer tabloid, Popularity was not so much lacking in substance that it had to resort to stories dangled in front of them as such, and the girl was offered a very small sum before she decided (with a huff) to take her story elsewhere. She wasn't stopped. The woman, whose name Mina soon discovered was Susan, then turned her blue-contact-covered eyes on Mina.

Smiling coyly, she took a photograph out of her knockoff LAMB purse. Doing a double take, Susan called her fellow writers over to take a look.

"I was a nanny in their house. She put me out," she said in explanation when they looked at her.

"Stop the presses!" one of the, a balding man, called out. "What's your name?" he quickly asked her.

"Mina Giselle Saunders."

"Roriano on the rocks! Jess's illicit affair with nanny!" Susan pulled a swivel chair up to Mina's bench to begin a fuller interview, while the balding man pulled out a checkbook for initiative. It would, of course, be lovely to get paid for speaking the truth, but there was another motive here.

Payback's a bitch, Rory Gilmore.


	13. C'est la vie

**meg – I guess so…I didn't really follow that thing. I didn't even know she took him back. But whatever. You're not the first to point out parallels. Unless it's subconscious, it's not on purpose.**

**Kylie1403 – Hehe, I heart your review. It made me giggle. **

**blank82 – You…you have to sleep! **

**Random and long author's note that has nothing to do with the story: So a few days ago, we were in French, and I'm sitting there reading Susan Atkins' memoir, and out of the blue, one word gets through my subconscious barrier: Fanfiction. So I perk up, being a nerd and all that. And it's this girl on the other side of the room, talking about how she was bored, so she stumbled onto fanfictiondotnet and was reading Harry Potter fanfictions and they were so weird, and then everyone had a story to tell about how they did something similar once, and the boy sitting next to me says "People who write fanfiction are losers", and I'm just sitting there like hey! **

**So if this incident sounds familiar, and you can vaguely recall a girl with shaggy brown hair curled up in her chair, rocking back and forth, and reading during class, you take French with me! You were there for that conversation! And WE ARE NOT LOSERS! **

It was like acting. Easy, fun, with all the benefits but without having to reveal how you truly felt. For Rory, suggesting to Jess that they keep the weekend as positive as possible by role-playing their former selves, so to speak, was ingenious. She could appease her disquieted side by explaining to it that they were simply playing pretend, while holding Jess's hand and walking at his side, as she was doing now. Either she was really with Jess, and lying to herself, or she was keeping true to her feelings while allowing herself to be let loose for a little while. Whichever way, she felt more carefree than she had in years as she sat down next to Jess at their gate.

"Are you sure you made reservations?" she asked anxiously.

"According to the roaming gnome, we're all set. Stop worrying."

"What if they lost our names?"

"Then we'll find a new hotel."

"What if all the hotels are full?"

"Then we'll sleep in a park, with the Eiffel Tower behind us."

"What if we get arrested for loitering?"

"Then we'll have a hell of an interesting story to tell people."

"What if-" She stopped. She couldn't think of anything else to say.

"I win," he said victoriously as he kissed the tip of her nose. For him, her idea was a blessing. No holding back anything on his part, and she wouldn't pull away.

"I'll think of more in a minute."

"Why won't you just accept the fact that this trip is going to rock?"

"Because you're you."

"Ouch, I just got dissed."

"Our luggage got lost on the Spain trip. I'll bet you checked it wrong again."

"Okay, first of all, I did NOT check it wrong, the airline screwed up. And second, we didn't even wear all that much the entire stay anyway. You didn't miss the luggage a bit." Her face flushed as he laughed.

"See, you think that's funny, but it's something that if they hear you saying it, those skeevie tabloids will pick it up, and it'll be quote of the year or something. And I do not want every person I work with saying 'didn't wear much the whole stay' behind my back, thank you very much."

Their flight was called, and in the coach section of the plane, it just so happened was a high school French class on a whirlwind field trip to the country. Fifteen girls between the ages of 14 and 18 gasped and stared as the actors made their way past them to their own seats. Their giggling and buzzing didn't make its way up to where the couple was sitting, and so the Marianos read undisturbed all the way to la France.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Jess hadn't made reservations for them to stay at a ritzy hotel or anything of the sort. Instead, he picked a small, but popular, Bed and Breakfast a few miles outside of Paris, called La Pomme D'Argent.

"Bienvenu!" A lady's voice rang out to greet them, and Jess checked them in between her broken English and his even more broken French as Rory wandered, looking at the artwork on the walls. There seemed to be a surplus of apple paintings, and when she finally found a brochure, explaining on the English fourth that the name of the B and B meant The Silver Apple, things fell into place.

Their room was on the second floor, at a corner. It was big and blue, with a soft looking bed, and more apples everywhere. The curtains were made of some thick, blue lacy thing, and were drawn over both windows. The room had many mirrors, and a spacious bathroom with an elegant hot tub near the outside wall. A reclining couch (which soon became a surface for their suitcases) sat across from the door and a small table near the door had a pull-out screen near it, so meals could be laid out without getting an eyeful of the room's occupants. Because, from the clientele milling about and the look of the room, this was most obviously a fancy young couple's haunt. Rory could fantasize about being a normal Parisian girl- maybe named Leila, that would be her name for this daydream- coming with her boyfriend...Jean to La Pomme D'Argent for their anniversary weekend. It would be expensive, but it would be special.

"You alright?" Jess asked, bringing her back from staring into space.

"I'm fine. Just hungry."

"Let's go ask Mme. Cravate where a good restaurant is." She nodded, and stepped into the bathroom to change from her traveling suit to a breezier sundress. She purposely left her arms bare so Jess would have to fork over his snug leather jacket, which not only was warm, but smelled just like him.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Rory desperately wanted to taste some of the fine wines, but her baby kept her from it. Playing the gentleman, Jess also refrained, though their server raised his eyebrows at both of them. 'Americans' he scoffed under his breath when he thought they couldn't hear, and Jess's imitation of his pompous attitude once he'd left the table was priceless.

Rory found herself laughing at Jess's jokes, listening raptly to Jess's stories, and responding with giggles to his attempts at French flirtation. Other women in the restaurant kept giving him the eye-over, and Rory took great pleasure in their disappointed but approving looks when he failed to notice them, focusing his energies solely on his wife. In the radiance of her attention, all normal traces of surliness disappeared, replaced by a boyishness that alone seemed to lift Rory's spirits. She had nothing alcoholic to drink, but the food, cultural atmosphere, and doting of her husband instilled in her such good spirits that she skipped down the hallway to their room at the end of the night. Following her, also grinning, Jess tried to remember the last time he'd seen her so happy. He couldn't; but he didn't let it ruin his mood.

She unlocked the door shakily, laughing when the key wouldn't turn. When the lock finally did give way, and admitted them, she curbed the urge to run and jump on the bed. Jess would have mercilessly mocked her, saying she looked like Jane. And though she loved her daughter more than life itself, Jane was not whom she wanted Jess thinking about at the moment.

She flung her shoes off and flopped down on the bed, listening for a little while to the faint sounds of the couple in the next bedroom. They definitely didn't sound like strangers, passionately hooking up once before they never saw each other again. They sounded like a real couple, like true partners. Rory wondered how her and Jess sounded when they were, if there was ever a cheesier line, in the throes of passion. But she didn't have to wonder long, because the bed bounced a little as he landed beside her on it.

One of their room's many beautiful mirrors was positioned directly across from the bed, and she watched it with a curious interest as it showed Jess crawl up behind her, push her hair away from her neck, and cock his head slightly to kiss is. He looked straightforward, and their eyes met in the mirror. A thousand screaming voices made themselves heard in Rory's head, insisting that Jess stop it this instant. If he didn't, she'd just end up falling for him all over again, and everyone knows how that worked out. She'd achieved a happy medium between her gloomy mindset, and her effervescent streak. If she kept going, she'd loose it, history would repeat itself, she'd go back to the bad place where Jess slept with the nanny while Rory dangled him by the heartstrings.

But his lips had worked their way from her neck to the strap of her dress, his eyes never leaving hers, and she stopped caring what may come. And the falling of said strap from shoulder to arm was like a switch being shut off. There was no more thinking, no more overanalyzing, no more mental screaming. There was only feeling, and reacting.

Breakfast had been laid out for them by the time they woke up. He faced the door and she hugged him from behind, their right hands still somewhat entwined, her hair serving as a pillow for them both. It was hard to say who woke up first, but they were both stirring as Rory tightened her grip on Jess, refusing to let go to whatever dream she'd been having. He let her hang on for a few more minutes before prying his body away from her grasp, and going to brush his teeth. Halfway through the teethbrushing process, however, she wandered dazedly into the bathroom.

"Where'd you go?" He saluted her with the toothbrush, then resumed the activity. If Rory was still feeling the way she'd felt last night, he really should do everything to avoid morning breath. Especially when it smelt like he'd swallowed an opossum during the night.

"So what should we do today?"

"I wasn't planning on leaving the room, but if you want to, we could go do some touristy stuff for a few hours. It's up to you." Her eyes lit up. She had visited France with Lorelai before meeting Jess, and they'd done it all. The Louvre, the castles, the Champs-Elysees, and the Latin quarter cafés. When Lorelai had helped her plan her honeymoon, France had been on the initial destination list, and Rory had made mental notes on where she wanted to take Jess. He'd convinced her instead to take a bohemian honeymoon with him- over three weeks of staying in run-down motels and eating crappy Chinese food all across the country. But she'd gotten into it, and they'd taken boxes of photos and even tried their hands at writing about the trip before unanimously declaring that it was harder than it looked.

Rory didn't regret their unconventional choice- it had been three of the best weeks of her life. No one recognized her in Jess's clothes with no makeup to speak of, and they had all the time in the world to get to California and back; no set plans. But here they were, in Europe, and she was going to drag him to all the places she'd mentally accumulated long ago.

So she dragged him. Complaining all the while, Jess followed her obediently as she shopped, ate, and admired. Many hundred euros worth of souvenirs, a few pieces of leftover bread from their lunch, and several works of art later, they arrived back at their hotel.

"I'm going to call Kathy and see how the kids are doing."

"See if Tana still works for us while you're at it."

"You don't think she even lasted twenty-four hours? Jess, she's like the most qualified person we've ever hired."

"I don't doubt how good she is, I just have no faith in our kids."

"You owe them a larger inheritance, just for saying that."

"Well it won't be much larger, because soon they'll have to split it three ways." He knelt down on the floor in front of Rory, lifting her blouse to see if her stomach showed yet. Her phone call temporarily forgotten, she ran her fingers through his hair as he peppered little kisses around her bellybutton. "When will we know the sex?"

"A few months, I guess. It's way early now."

"What do you want?"

"I don't really have a preference. First time, I wanted a girl, and we got Jane. Second, I wanted a boy to even things out, and we got Riley. I'm perfectly fine with either."

"I want another boy. Granted, they have more energy as babies, but I won't have to scare any boyfriends off with a shotgun when he's older."

"What if there are flocks of girls chasing him?"

"Then I'll congratulate my son, and probably buy him a box of condoms." Rory rolled her eyes.

"You're so much more conservative with Jane! Just because she's a girl doesn't mean she can't take care of herself."

"I know, but she's my little girl. I don't want any punk putting his hands all over her."

"People are going to say the same about your sons."

"It's a right of passage every man has to go through. Remember Christoper?" She winced.

"Very well, even though I've only talked to him a few times since then." Specifically every time either of them got married, or had a child. Christopher had actually attended Rory's wedding (though Luke had walked her down the aisle), and showed up to meet Jane as a baby. For her part, Rory had attended both of Christopher's weddings in recent years, and gone down to see her sisters the previous year. Christopher had the inability to make a relationship work out, which resulted in three ex-wives and four daughters. He was currently single, living in Boston with Gigi, Nina, and Katie. All three loved their famous big sis, and Rory had visited more for their sake than for his.

"I won't be like Christopher. I promise."

"Thank you."

"I won't threaten, I'll shoot as soon as I see him."

"You don't own a gun," she pointed out.

"Well, lets fix that when we get back to the States." She shook her head sarcastically as she pushed him gently away from her, and dialed her home phone number. Jane answered.

"Jane? Are you allowed to answer the phone to strangers?"

"Who is this?"

"It's Mommy. You know you're not allowed to answer the phone, sweetie."

"Mommy, you're not a stranger." Isn't four-year-old logic great?

"But I could have been."

"No, because you're Mommy."

"But you didn't know that when you picked the phone up."

"Yea I did!"

"How did you?"

"Because you're not a stranger?"

"Yes, but how did you know that before hand?"

"Because you're Mommy, silly!" Rory gritted her teeth. It was liking banging her head into a wall.

"Janey, can you put Miss Kathy on the phone, please?"

"She's in the basement."

"Why is she in the basement?"

"Because that's where Riley is."

"Why is your brother in the basement?"

"Because the door closed by itself after him."

"Jane Elizabeth! You shut your brother in the basement?"

"With the lights off. I mean, no."

"You are getting a time out as soon as Mommy and Daddy are back in the country. Please go fetch Miss Kathy once she's recovered your brother." Jess laughed in the background, listening to her half of the conversation.

"And that's why Jane can take care of herself around all those punks, mister."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Eat a snack, read a little, back to bed. Wake up. Repeat. Sunday was a lovely cycle for the couple, with many varied activities. They were showering a few hours before their flight at the end of their weekend, when Jess, as he pressed Rory into marble side of the shower, asked a question lowly in her ear.

"When do you stop pretending?" He pulled his head back so she could see water dripping from his rumpled bangs into his sad eyes, and she turned away.

"Don't ask me that Jess. I had a really good time with you these past few days."

"Then pretend all the time with me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it doesn't work like that. I had to get away from everything before I could do this, I can't just act like I'm happy all the time."

"So that's all this was? An act?"

"What part of 'pretending' do you not get?"

"The part where you trick yourself into believing it. If you want so badly to believe that things are all fine and dandy, why not actually extend the effort to MAKE them that way?"

"It doesn't work like that, Jess." She shoved him away from her, and went back to rinsing the shampoo from her long hair. But something inside him snapped, and he shoved her back against the wall.

"Why the fuck not, Rory?"

"Oh, I'll thank you not to smack me around," she replied angrily, and a little frightened.

"Everything could be easy, but you make it impossible! You DO need a shrink, you need fucking Freud himself! You've got problems, do you really not see that? I can't do anything for you unless you let me, and the only time you let me is when you've delusioned yourself into thinking 'it's okay, it's only for two days.' Now I may not be a saint, but you KNOW how much your fault this is. And dammit, sweetheart, you drive me to some insane places." He opened the glass door of the shower, grabbing a towel to throw around his waist. He stopped on his way back into the bedroom. "And I'm sorry. I did not mean to use force with you. It was a heat-of-the-moment thing."

She stayed in the shower for a long time, turning the water up and letting it scald her back. Finally, Jess had to put her things in her suitcase himself, and call to her that it was time to go. Taking one last look around the place where they'd been so happy, for such a short time, she followed him out to the waiting cab.

As she lined her eyes with a pocket mirror at the airport, he shuffled the floor with his shoe as he tried to think of something to say.

"So, this morning..."

"Leave it, Jess. I don't want us fighting again."

"You'd rather we leave things where they stand?" he asked incredulously.

"Why not, it's not like they could get any better." He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall behind his chair, smiling grimly.

"So I'm just supposed to say it was fun while it lasted, and now let's go back to not talking?" She stubbornly didn't answer him. "Because I can't do that anymore, Ror. I love you, but when you do that shit to me, I get some crazy thoughts in my head. Angry thoughts, lecherous thoughts, even suicidal thoughts. I really cannot walk knowingly back into that."

"We'll figure something out, Jess. Just not now."

"When?"

"At a later date."

"Right. I believe that." Their flight was called, and together they stood up. He took both their carry-ons with him and she walked behind him slowly. It was a very different couple than the one that had arrived merrily in France. But still, advances (not to be confused with progress) had been made by both sides. The knew that the whole issue here was Rory- and that she was capable of overcoming it, if only by bringing more issues into the picture. And they also knew that his patience was running thin- he wouldn't leave her, oh no, but he could easily find himself as screwed up as she was. And it wouldn't be fair to their unborn child to enter into the world with two less-than-sane parents.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

She followed directly in the path he was clearing through the other passengers, staring at the floor. The carpet was oddly stained- they really should do something about that. When they reached the door to the gate, flashes blurred their vision and impeded their path. At least forty reporters were waiting in the airport for the two of them to get off the plane, and now they were taking candids for whatever their story was.

As Jess put an arm around her shoulders and steered her through the mass, she caught words here and there. Most of them just registered, but the one that really caught her attention was 'Nanny.'


	14. The price of Popularity

**LitGG1982 – While your review was a compliment of the highest sort…sweetheart, you need to go to work! Even it's just an internship! **

**petitos grasshoppertje – Woot for Milo-look-alike boyfriends! **

**xxxLotxxx – I feel bloody brilliant after reading the French part of your review, because I understood it ALL. I'm giving my French teacher a hug the next time I see her, even though she thinks I'm a lost cause because I can't pronounce for beans. **

**blank82 – You are oh so amusing, luv. (See that? That was so totally British.) **

**So…excuse time, huh? Well…1. Studying for AP US History test (which I missed six chapters of the class for, had to learn those on my own)…2. Trying to finish 600 pages of The Fountainhead to try and win the superlotsamoney scholarship with an amazing, kickass essay postmarked by April 25…3. A 7 page written, giant poster visual, tennish minute oral report on Metatropic Dysplasia for Genetics. 4. Life! School, family, struggling in French class, bare minimum socializing, keeping in contact with people, teen romance issues (Ug. I tried to kill Jess off out of spite for the male species…changed the chappie, though!), and a million other things. Forgive me for taking so long to update? **

"...revealed to Popularity Magazine on the 14th that Jess Mariano was cheating on his wife, Rory Gilmore-Mariano, with the woman hired to baby-sit their two children. When asked to comment, the Mariano camp had nothing to say, remarking only that Jess and his wife were out of the country at the moment. But Popularity knows better. Struggling actress Mina Saunders came forth on the 14th to tell her incredible, true story of her time in the Mariano household. From Jess's infatuation with herself to his wife's cold indifference to the two's activities, it's a side we've never seen of Roriano." Paul Merton slammed the graypaper down on the table in front of his two young clients. "How the H-E-double hockey stick do you expect me to come up with an answer to those calls? You didn't even leave a contact number!"

"Dude, calm down," Jess said, running a hand through his dark hair. This wasn't the first time he'd done this in the past ten minutes, and consequently, his hair was starting to look quite oily. "The three of us will figure something out." Rory didn't look up from her place next to him at the couple's dining room table, where her head rested on her hands, and she stared vacantly at the paper in front of them. "You haven't put an answer on the table yet. We'll think of something." Merton had became the couple's publicist after Jersey Girls ended, when Lorelai and Rory went their separate ways professionally, and Jess opted to fork over the cash to pay for his own guy, no longer being able to rely on Max's cheap throng of squabbling show publicists. Max had recommended Merton to both actors, having briefly worked with him on a previous small screen venture, and they'd become his priority clients. When they joined in holy matrimony, and consolidated their assets, Merton transitioned from working for each of them, to working for the both of them. He'd had some other clients in previous years, but at the moment, he solely represented the Marianos. Good thing too, because their "camp" was going to be working overtime from this point out.

"Merton, sit down. You're making this even more stressful," Rory spoke meekly from her seat. Sinking exasperatedly into a chair across from them, he took a deep breath.

"Okay. First of all, what's going on you two?" Jess's eyes flicked to his wife's, and she nodded silently. Merton was a good man. They could trust him, no matter what he ended up releasing to the public.

"While the skank was working for us, she and I had an extramarital relationship, which we kept hidden from the kids, obviously. Rory found out, dismissed her from our services, and the girl went public with her story." Merton took a deep breath again. And again. And once more for good measure. Being an old-fashioned family man, he tried to contain the daggers he longed to shoot out of his eyes at the young man in front of him. The guy had a gorgeous, amazingly sweet wife, and all he could think about was sex with other girls. Merton did not respect this.

But he had to work with it.

"Okay. Is this the first time this has happened?"

"Uh, no. Third." Jaw gritting from the other side of the table.

"Are we in danger of the other two leaks?"

"We didn't think we were in danger of this one."

"Who else knows about any of these relationships?"

"Our housekeeper, Rory's mother and step-father, and Marty Winters."

"Would any of them go public? And what about your new nanny; does she know?"

"We trust these people with our lives. And Tana doesn't really follow news like this."

"Is she yet another name on your list?"

"God, no. She's married!"

"So are you, honey," Rory said in a non-interested voice, now picking at her nails.

"So we're fairly confident that the Saunders story is the only version that will make it on the market?"

"Mina is kind of a pussy compared to Jenna and Shane. Neither of them seem like girls to go to the papers the way she did. Too strong. Too stubborn."

"Alright. So is the Saunders story correct?" He'd read aloud each girlish quote and hollow-written paragraph upon converging in the dining room. And shown both the picture enlarged to many times it's small size, printed on the front of that and every other edition of Popularity on news racks at the time. A naked Jess slept soundly, covered only by a pepto-bismol pink sheet on the equally colored bed he reclined on. Taken at the height of Mina's crush, she'd never told him about this photo, but it had been a treasure she often traced with her fingertips on those nights when he didn't come to her because he was busy or with Rory. This little piece of photogenic infatuation, however, had been turned into a weapon against its subject.

"Yes. She's a ditz, but she got a full account. I didn't hear anything that I couldn't remember truly happening." The three thought back over the article, remembering the sob story about two star-crossed lovers, separated by a bitter wife and a husband's confusion. "Well, some parts may have been overdramatized. But the time periods, the events, the basic outline isn't a lie."

"But...it could be," Rory spoke up from beside her husband, solemnly. Merton nodded, sitting back in his seat.

"She wants to be an actress, correct? It wouldn't be out of the ordinary for a fame-seeker to resort to measures such as making up stories about her past bosses. Maybe she even had a disagreement with the two of you over her paycheck, and decided to get even."

"She did ask for more money a few times," Rory nodded, supplying more information to pad the story they were weaving. Merton took out a palm pilot and began to take notes on it.

"What about the picture? It's quite obvious as to who the subject is."

"She stole it from me," Rory answered with a wry smile.

"And her claims about the deterioration of your marriage?"

"We're having a baby; we just went to France. We'll do some talk shows to demonstrate that everything is peachy keen with us." Merton's cell phone rang, and with an apologetic remark, he left for the adjoining room. Jess kept his eyes on the modernist print on the wall opposite his chair, but spoke for the first time since Rory and Merton had began to conspire.

"So...we're denying it?" Rory shrugged breezily.

"You want a scarlet letter?"

"Uh, no. But you just jumped into story-telling mode without consulting me. I thought...never mind."

"What did you think?"

"I said never mind."

"Jess, just tell me." They were facing each other by this point, frustrated.

"Look, I know France didn't end as well as it started, but I still thought we were trying the whole cooperating, common good, partnership thing. Isn't that why I had to call that overpriced, head-shrinking, professional?"

"That appointment's Tuesday, right?"

"Yea; but if you want that to work, you have to-what, ladies and gentlemen?- work with me. Stop leaving me out of the decision-making process." She held up her hands in mock-surrender at his raising tone.

"You have an alternative? Be my guest; lay it out for me." He was silent. "See, you can't think of one. I wasn't trying to exclude you, I just knew you wouldn't want out in an open arena A. what you'd done, and B. that you weren't sorry for it."

"Hey, wait just a minute, of course I'm sorry." If Rory had been eating something, she would have choked.

"Excuse me? It's less than a month after your last liaison! You weren't sorry then, you're not sorry now."

"Of course I am."

"NO, you're not. You even said you weren't going to apologize when we were coming back from Mom and Luke's."

"I said I knew apologizing couldn't make up for what I did, and that it would haunt me."

"Once again, this thing with Mina is barely ended. You don't just acquire guilt for something like that over night!"

"I regretted it while I was still screwing her, Rory. If you focused on someone's feelings other than your own, you'd know that." Smack, went Rory's palm as it connected with her husband's face.

"Shut up! How can you talk about what you did with her like it had nothing to do with her, with you, but everything to do with me?" Her face began to contort in such a way as to betray her attempt at holding back tears. Jess, too, struggled to keep a calm visage.

"Because it did. If you weren't so Goddamn selfish-"

"No, no, no, no, no! This is YOUR mistake, YOUR sin, YOUR betrayal. Not mine. I didn't play matchmaker; I didn't assign sleeping arrangements."

"Indirectly, you did."

"Stop it, Jess! What you did hurts, but not as much as your trying to pin the blame on me."

"I just don't think you can handle knowing that you played a part what happened."

"I know I did; but you did too. And so did she."

"Don't involve Mina, all she did was be young and hot and accessible."

"So now you're defending her?" It was amazing how clear the attitude came across in Rory's tear-clogged voice.

"Of course not, I hate the girl!"

"I see that didn't stop you from getting a piece of ass from her, though."

"I didn't hate her until this happened."

"Okay, now we're back to the subject at hand. THIS. Your slut squealed, Jess. If you had to mess around with her, why couldn't you have at least been smart enough to make her keep her mouth shut?"

"Hey, this is the first time this has happened, keep in mind."

"YOU cheated on ME. You have nothing to be defensive about."

"As you keep reminding me," he muttered.

"Jess, I let this go on. Yes, I'm at fault for that, but what was happening was not my doing or at my provocation. Then I didn't give you a hard time after it ended. I could have thrown you out; I could have given you grief; I could have gone to the press myself. But I didn't."

"You made me sleep on the couch for a weekend," he pointed out. She charged ahead as if she hadn't heard his interjection, pathetic in the face of what she was saying she could have done.

"And now I'm willing to lie for you. I'm willing to swallow my pride, go on national television, and say that everything is alright so as not to harm your career or persona. You say everything you've done is BECAUSE of me? Everything I've done is FOR you. So get over your sob story, because I'm done talking about this. I'll be upstairs taking a nap; call me when Merton goes." She got up, wiped her running mascara with the back of her hand, and headed for the door.

"You want to tell the truth?" he called to her.

"Why bother? Nothing's real; everything is fake. Our fame, our lives, our relationship. Give Mina crap or kudos, I don't care. Just don't ask me anything else. Because I'm tired of altering my life to make yours more comfortable." She left the kitchen, almost colliding with Merton as he came back in.

"Where's she going?"

"To take a nap; she's not feeling well."

"Understandable, what with the baby and this added stress. Okay, so that was my office, and apparently there's another article coming out tomorrow, different tabloid though, and my secretary read to me what she'd been faxed by the magazine. Apparently they wanted my comments. Anyway, it was basically the same interview, I only noticed a few changes. The most blatant one, after having heard your side of the story, is her claim that she was the only woman you ever had relations with while married to Rory. Of course, we don't want to encourage the thread that she was not the only one, but we still need to discredit this."

"No." Jess stood up, pushing his chair in. "If we're done here, I have a rehearsal in an hour that I need to get ready for."

"'No'? I don't understand."

"No. No lies. Get me an interview lined up with anybody, I don't care who. I'll do my side. Make it the day after tomorrow; I'm busy tomorrow."

"Wait, what was just decided here?"

"We're not lying. I did something, I'm owning up to it."

"Jess, as your publicist, I can tell you that this is very much the wrong move. This is the Bay of Pigs of wrong moves."

"Whatever. Don't fight me on this, dude."

"Remember the bad decision you made that landed you in bed with this girl, not your wife? This one almost tops it. Career suicide."

"Nah, not really. Some people might decide they hate me, but Rory might give me a break. Some people; Rory. Some people; Rory." He pretended to weigh the two on his hands. The side representing Rory shot towards the ceiling.

"Jess! 'Roriano' is a good image to have for both you and her. The perfect, blissfully happy young love story! You met on one of the most popular rerun syndicated shows in America; you live the American dream with a big house and two kids; you're both young and attractive; you are what they want to be. Don't disillusion the people; it's not fair to them."

"Well, people have always thought we were too blissfully happy. Give 'em some controversy."

"Please be joking, Jess. Rory directs; she doesn't need the reputation either way, good or bad. So this is just you we're talking about, and me by extension." Jess shrugged.

"Get some other customers, man, because I'm going down."

"Why?"

"Because Rory's under the crazy impression that going along with what I do or say is 'altering her life,' I believe is the term she used. We're done here." He walked out, and a speechless Merton followed his path through the doorway a few minutes later. As he got into his car and drove off the premises, he saw Kathy, the Mariano's housekeeper, using a garden hose to drive reporters off the front lawn.


	15. Talking to the blonde

**Dione Robertson – Merton was the principal from Stars Hollow who expelled Jess. Tana's in here somewhere. I'm thinking of bringing Drella in. I do love to recycle Amy's characters! **

**I don't think I've said thank you guys for the reviews lately. Thank you so much! If I didn't have the support I do, I'm not sure my ongoing stories would be going. It's hard when no one likes them. But I take it that there is a LOT of like here. And I love you guys for it. **

If there was one thing Jess hated, it was talk shows. Thirty minutes with a hyperactive blonde who asked question after question about his personal life without any interest, or even an inclination of caring. But she kept on asking a pre-thought out list of intruding questions, while crying girls in the audience proclaimed their eternal love for him, made a break for the stage, and were dragged off by previously invisible security. The first time this had happened, Jess had watched with an open mouthed grin- it was too much that these 17-year-olds were willing to get arrested on national television, just to show their support for him. It got old fast.

He was standing backstage, sipping a heavily flavored coffee some faceless gopher had brought to him. Despite the fact that random information, such as his favorite color and preferred episode of The Simpsons, circulated the internet, somehow no one seemed to know that he drank coffee black. He hadn't always, but life with Rory (the poster girl for why pregnant ladies should not drink coffee. Good going there, Lorelai) coupled with a career increasing in hours and in stress, mixed in with two loud, energetic children, and occasionally with a dash of Rory-induced psychological trauma had turned him into one of those people who were disgusted with the idea of milk in their drink. There was lots and lots of milk, along with some sugar, cinnamon, whipped cream, and God knew what else, in the coffee he was drinking. But if he put it down, people would fuss over him, and make a million alternative offers. So he stuck with the girly coffee.

In a matter of minutes, he would have to hand the coffee to someone, and walk out in front of an applauding audience, wave, and sit down on the overstuffed chair provided for him across from the blonde. He couldn't even remember who hosted this show; Merton had kicked the rising pop star that was supposed to be on the menu today off at the last minute to get Jess his interview. Merton had been extremely stressed out the last couple of days, so Jess had decided it was for the best not to negotiate a better interviewer. Merton's head might have exploded.

Suddenly, the coffee was yanked from his hand. Merton had reappeared from wherever Merton went, and was pushing Jess to a door marked 'Stage.' Like a mother hen, the busty lady who had applied a thin layer of makeup to Jess's face fifteen minutes ago began to prod his messy hair into a sexy mess, and Merton was saying words that Jess struggled to catch over the din of the audience, which could now be heard screaming Jess's name.

"We're both going down. Good luck." Shaking his head, he felt justified giving his client a forceful shove that carried him almost to the stage entrance. Jess regained his footing and walked with a swagger and a smirk towards the blonde.

However, something was different about this time. There were still young girls screaming his name, but they were all wearing t-shirts with phone numbers and slogans like 'I'm great with kids!' and 'Hire me!' written across their chests. And not all the noise was coming from people like them. A number of people, almost all of them scowling women, heckled him as he took a seat. It was a nice change from the mundane, but no one likes to be heckled.

"Jess, how are you?" asked blondie once the din had died down. He shrugged. Three girls swooned.

"Been better. Been worse." She smiled. Damn, those teeth must have cost a fortune...

"Haven't we all? How is shooting going on Winter Dreams?" They made small talk for a few minutes, a feeling of anxiety beginning to set down on Jess's shoulders. He had met today with a brave face, kissed Rory goodbye shortly and strongly, and approached the studio casually. He was going to make his confessions; he was going to be done. But now that the time for those confessions was supposed to be here, but was being drawn out, he was beginning to get nervous. Why couldn't the blonde hurry up and get on with it?

"Now, Jess. I have no idea how to put this next question tactfully, but there is something that everyone in the audience, and myself, is dying to know. It concerns a certain tabloid that came out a few days ago, with a certain story, as told by a certain former employee of yours, who had certain things to say." Jess felt like rolling his eyes. It couldn't get much more tactful than not actually asking the question, but substituting a word in place of every specification.

He'd told Rory about his decision the night after Merton went home. She was silent. She looked uneasy. When asked sarcastically why she wasn't skipping with joy at his upcoming revelations, she brought up something that had not yet occurred to him. Between the two of them, he tended to slant things so it appeared that she was the guilty one. Neither of them was completely fooled. But America was moronic and impressionable. "My wife is so mean. She won't sleep with me. I have needs. The nanny had a pussy," Rory mocked in uncharacteristic crudeness. Jess had vowed that wouldn't happen. He was doing this for her; he was going to do this her way.

So when the question was put to him, he hesitated momentarily. He'd practiced this multiple times over the last few days, as the day after had not been a realistic time period in which to get such a publicized interview and he'd had more time than originally expected. Of course ever rehearsed answer had flown out of his head when it was time to recall one of them. The audience held their breath, and the blonde even looked mildly interested. He licked his lips.

"As of late, my wife and I have been somewhat at odds. There have been no visible consequences, and separation of any sort has never been mentioned. But I did go seeking comfort outside of our bed. The girl who just came forth is not the first with which this has happened, but her story is not a lie. Well, there was no love between us. But I admit I made a mistake. Many mistakes. Which I am trying to remedy with Rory."

"PIG!" came a shout from one of the disapproving women. The audience stirred uneasily and angrily at her prompting. Many of them had automatically assumed that anything reporting trouble with Roriano must be a lie. Others had crossed their fingers. The blonde smiled.

"Oh my."

"Yea. 'Oh my' indeed."

"And what does Rory say about all of this?"

"Well, she banished me to the couch when she first kicked Mina out. And we've just made an appointment to try some marriage counseling."

"So she's not leaving?"

"Uh, no?" Unbeknownst to him, as Merton had not wanted to frazzle his nerves, the third article on the affair had come out that morning, with the false claim that Rory was packing.

"She's fine with your mistake?"

"No. But we are working through it. Because what we have is too important to throw away over a few meaningless trysts."

"Again you mention multiple mistakes. With people other than Mina Saunders?"

"Mina is the third nanny we have employed whom I been that with." The audience hissed. Merton clutched his temples on the wings of the stage. They had not discussed releasing THAT. But Jess had done it intentionally. There would be nothing new to break to the public when he was done. Everything would be on the table; it would hurt him more, but wouldn't that help him and Rory heal more?

"And once again, Rory isn't more upset than she is?" He thought fast. Don't incriminate Rory...don't incriminate Rory.

"Rory is not faultless." And...that was somewhat incriminating. Fucking A.

"Well well well, the gardener then?"

"NO, she's not a cheater. That's me. Don't call her that." The thought of Rory with another man stung. It hit him that that was probably like what it felt like for her. Only many times increased, as she had proof. Guilt had been coming to him in short stabs since this whole thing with the nannies started, but now it rammed him full force. The pain was enough to make him forget his goals, and just talk freely.

"Rory's having some emotional problems, and before she got pregnant had been using alcohol to cope. We're working together to rediscover what we lost somewhere." He realized what he'd just said. He saw the cameras several feet from himself, and realized how many people would hear his statement. He remembered that Rory had said she'd be watching his live interview among those many other people. He winced as the room grew quiet. THIS was not the Roriano they knew and loved. The blonde gaped, working her jaw to attempt to force another question out. But he was done. He'd said what he wanted to say, and then some. There was nothing left to possibly add to his interview. He stood up and walked off stage, wondering what Rory would say.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Christopher Hayden sat in his Boston apartment, holding his three-year-old daughter, Nina, in his lap. She was coloring the images on the television, getting more and more frustrated by their refusal to stop moving and cater to her purpose. Chris watched his son-in-law walk on camera, all slick and cool. Though Chris himself did the same thing, seeing Jess do it made him scoff. Something about Jess just made him angry. Perhaps their first meeting still lingered in his mind, along with how mad Rory and Lorelai had been with him that day. He had many negative associations with Jess.

However, he hadn't picked up a tabloid lately. Nor had he watched any of the entertainment shows, or talked to any of his curious neighbors who knew whose father he was.

So when Jess's admission began, he sputtered on the energy drink in his mouth.

The little bastard.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Jess opened the door that connected the garage to a hallway. No noise greeted him. Common sense told him that Tana and the kids were in another part of the house, but paranoia told him that Rory was on a massive killing spree, and she was coming for him.

He made his way slowly up to the bedroom, where he found her sitting on their bed, a binder spread out on her Indian-style crossed legs, a pencil eraser in her mouth. She appeared totally calm. In fact, she appeared not to know what he'd said.

"Oh, hey. How did it go?" She looked up from the script she was trying to revise.

"Did you see it?"

"I might have. How did it go?"

"Why won't you tell me if you saw it or not?"

"Because I want to know how you think it went."

"It went good. I said what I wanted to say, but I accidentally let slip something else. It may or may not be incriminating."

"What was it?"

"Uh, well, I mentioned your fondness for the drink. Oopsies." The pencil point bounced off his forehead. He was thankful a pencil was all she'd had in her hands.

Wait, scratch that. The binder came flying at him, which he narrowly managed to avoid.

"Good job, Jess! You promised you wouldn't blame me!"

"I didn't really, I just said it was your method of coping, like mine had been girls. Why are you throwing things at me?"

"Because you made me sound like an alcoholic!" He stared at her.

"Aren't you?"

"NO!" She launched the pillows from their bed at him. He caught two of the four. "You can use it to get away without being alcoholic! Besides; I haven't had any since I found out I was pregnant!"

"So you're not totally dependant. It's still not normal, how much you drank. And would you cut it out?" He threw his catches back at her.

"Define it how you may; I didn't want them to have them option of defining it!" She returned the volley. As did he. An all-out pillow war started in the room, with both adults acting like their young children as they screamed and jumped and dove and laughed. As they both went for the same pillow on the floor, Jess got there first. Rory jumped on him, sending his small frame crashing to the floor. She giggled girlishly as she straddled him from behind, his face grinding into the carpet.

"I hate people," she said in his ear, once she'd regained her breath. He shivered from her closeness.

"Me too."

"We should forget about what they think. Our lives are all about us."

"I concur. Wanna get up?"

"You don't want me to do this?" she asked innocently as she affixed her mouth to his ear. He tried to keep ahold of his thoughts as she teased him, but found it difficult. His last intelligent thought came in the form of marveling at how she could revert to the old, playful Rory under the most unpleasant and grave of conditions. Ah well. That's what their upcoming therapy was for.


	16. My Maria

She had seen Jess's interview. She had tried to not watch it, to believe that everything would go according to plan, and that he'd follow the speech she'd heard him practicing under his breath for the preceding few days. But there was something against Jess's favor: she knew him.

She could not forget the time he was being interviewed about the World War II film he was shooting, and had somehow ended reciting old Italian recipes from memory that his elderly babysitter had once let him help prepare. Or the time he was supposed to be talking about life as Rory Gilmore's husband, and accidentally found himself giving a semi-graphic account of their sex life to the recording camera. Chris had made some angry phone calls to the house about that one. Luckily, he hadn't felt the need to show up. He was getting better about controlling his temper with Jess.

But she had the sinking inkling that Jess would sit down to talk to a blonde with the best intentions, and something heinous would come out of his mouth instead. So she pretended she was working with the TV on in the background, when in reality she knew she was counting the seconds until he came onscreen, and had no idea what the papers on her lap were about. Jane had come in and snuggled under the mountain of pillows on her parents' big poofy bed, but Tana had fetched the girl, and they toddled off together to play Blue's Clues.

"Oh, you ass," she muttered with her head in her hands as "Rory is not faultless," slipped out of his mouth. He looked a little bewildered that it had been HIM to say the words, but quickly shed it and continued chatting gaily with the girl. "Oh you ASS!"

The time from then until he came home, only a few hours, had been filled with contemplation, the work on her lap taking up space and nothing else. Jess ass, Jess ass, Jess ass, Rory ...alcoholic? Was it true? She had never labeled her fondness for forgetting as such. Was she? How had that happened? No, nothing happened; it wasn't true. Jess was going to be in SO much trouble when he dared show his face. What Jess had done had taken a lot of guts. That bastard! Would having an alcoholic for a mommy be bad for her babies, her jewels?

He'd come home, she'd thrown things out of spite, and she'd made love with him. Why couldn't she make up her mind how to feel about things? Was she an alcoholic? That word sounded so cold...so efficiently labeled. Long after wrestling Riley into bed, pulled Jane out of her hiding place (the dryer) and wrestled HER into bed, and laying down herself, the question haunted her. Lorelai would be so disappointed- Lorelai! Had she seen the interview? If not, she'd more than likely heard about it. She knew about Jess, but not the drinking. Speaking about her mother, what if it was genetic? What if Riley and Jane, and now Baby had the same problems? No. She wouldn't let herself believe that was her deal. She hadn't let a drop of liquor pass through her lips since finding out that she was pregnant. And it hadn't been much of a struggle. Sure, there was the frequent 'dammit, I need a cocktail,' but there was no drive, no overarching need. She relaxed. She relied on it, she did not depend on it. She turned over so she faced her dozing husband, and tried to close her eyes. As soon as she did, the buzzer on the intercom system next to her bed buzzed. Jess cursed.

"I'm fucking breaking that..." he tapered off sleepily in the middle of his sentence. Annoyed, Rory pushed the big blue/green button to allow whomever was at the door to speak. Their house had been the source of much publicity lately, with reporters camping on the lawn, photography helicopters flying overhead, and the phone ringing off the hook. Kathy was defending their caller ID and their lawn (housekeeper: 4, paparazzi: 0) and Tana was trying to keep the children inside (nanny: 6, children: 8).

"What do you want?" she asked curtly, but in a polite tone.

"Rory. This is your father. Get that piece of shit down here now."

"Fucking breaking the noise...zat your dad?" She flicked the lamp by their bed on and sat up, pulling the covers closer to her body so as to protect her baby from the violent undertones of the voice coming over the speaker.

"You mean Jess? Sorry Dad, we're trying to sleep. I'll come let you in, but you gotta leave us alone until the morning." Chris made a lot of strangled noises. None of them were words. Finally, he settled on what to say.

"Sounds good, Rory." Far too chipper to be a good thing, but Rory was ready for bed, and hurried downstairs to let him in so she could return to her own room. As soon as he had hugged her and kissed her stomach, he vaulted for the stairs. He held a baseball bat.

"DAD! NO!" She flew up the stairs behind him, yelling, probably waking up the other four sleeping people in the house. "Jess, he has a bat! JESSY!"

She hit the wall during her efforts to make a quarter turn at top speed from the stairs into the hall leading to her bedroom. Sorry, Baby. Mommy's in a hurry trying to save Daddy from Grandpa.

"Dad! Jess!" She tripped over the Turkish rug that greeted those who entered the master bedroom, and gasped. Jess, shirtless, was sitting up, tired eyes warily fixed on Christopher, who held the makeshift weapon over his head, scowling. Jess looked so frail against the sheets, unarmed, at her father's mercy.

"You...you will pay," he grunted as he continued to gash his teeth. Christopher Hayden was normally a very rational man. The angel on his shoulder was whispering 'you know you're not really going to hit him; it's not you. And Rory loves him. Plus it's illegal and stuff.' But the devil was throttling the angel with it's own halo, and screaming at him to hurt Jess like the punk had hurt Rory.

"Chris, calm down, we'll talk this out like gentlemen." Fear was beginning to show in Jess's eyes. Memories from life as a lonely child, abused by his mother's many boyfriends flooded back to him. Had he ever been hit with a bat? No, not a bat. But a table leg. If he recalled, it had broken his arm.

"Dad, you're crazy. You just stormed into my house, which is in another state, at 12:15, ready to beat my husband. The father of my little fetus." Chris twitched. She made a very convincing argument.

"I love my daughters more than anything else in the world, and Rory is my first. At your wedding you promised to love, and to protect her. Neither of these things you have done. I've been mad at you before, but this is beyond anger. I could kill you now, you know. I could leave you black and blue and bloody. I could leave. I basically have your life, your appearance and thusly your career, in my hands. And I'm liking this feeling."

"Dad, give me the bat," Rory said with an outstretched hand.

"Rory, please leave the room." She had been feeling nothing but fear for Jess up until that point, but now she was pissed.

"Excuse me? This is MY house! You do not tell me which rooms I may be in, and which ones I have to leave. You may not hold Jess's life in your hands. You may not storm in ready to hurt one of us." 10 frustrations leftover from childhood about Christopher's shortcomings, 90 pregnancy hormones, she put her hands on her hips and glared back. Her dad's frown deepened, but he lost some of the anger in his eyes. That gave her the chance she needed to slip around him, and sit down on Jess's blanket-covered lap. He was shaking, remembering childhood terrors. He wasn't all there. Chris looked taken aback to find her in his way.

"You wouldn't hurt the baby, would you?" she asked mockingly, wrapping her bird-like arms around Jess's neck. He shook his head, relaxing his grip. "Get out before I call the police. I don't want to hear from you again for a very long time." The initial surge of anger that had kept him company the entire drive from Boston had dissipated as quickly as it had come. He wished he had more discipline, but most of his emotions were stop-and-go like that. Shaking his head, he muttered something along the lines of 'don't know what I was thinking' and left. The look in Rory's eyes as she defiantly sat in front of Jess haunted him for more than the drive home.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

She planted kisses on his face, trying to unfreeze him.

"Jess, Jess. He's gone." Kathy burst into the room in a bathrobe.

"I heard yelling!"

"Kathy, I think I hear Riley crying down the hall. Can you go help Tana get him back to bed?"

"But what was it?"

"My dick of a father. He's gone now. Crisis averted." She smiled convincingly, until the door closed behind a dubious Kathy.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I didn't know he'd do that. It's a whole new level on the Pissed Chris scales." He shook his head violently, trying to clear whatever images played inside it. "Jess, please talk to me. You're blanched. Jess; he's gone. You're okay. I'm okay. The baby is okay."

"He...he was mad," he finally choked out. Rory laughed humorlessly. He fell backwards on the bed, taking her with him. Clutching her to him as if grounding himself, his chest heaved up and down, taking her with it each time.

"You...you're my Maria," he said once he trusted himself enough to talk normally.

"Uh, okay. Whatcha talking about?"

"In West Side Story, when Maria throws herself in front of Tony so the officers can't touch him. You put yourself between him and me."

"...Tony was dead, darling. But you're traumatized. I'll allow the crappy film reference."

"Thank you anyway. I might have been dead if you hadn't deterred him."

"Shush. Chris was mad, but he wouldn't kill you. Maim you a bit, maybe, but you weren't in any serious danger." They fell asleep like that, and he awoke completely normal. Of course he hadn't been scared. Of course he had known Chris wouldn't really swing. Of course he was mad that Rory had put herself in harm's way, had Chris accidentally dropped the bat horizontally and it flew into her stomach. He refused to discuss it beyond that, making jokes and singing along to the Bowie song playing on the radio. But she was still freaked. If she had lost Jess...

"You'll always be my Tony anyway."

"Go to sleep, Maddie."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Tana, I'll hold Janey, and would you please go get a smaller pink jumper?" Eager to oblige the actress, whom she had decided she looked up to in every way from the way her hair looked when she'd just woken up, to the way she mixed a sugary cereal with a health cereal each morning for breakfast, Tana trotted down the Kids-R-Us aisle to where the other pink jumpers lived. A flash went off in her face. "Oh!" A man with very red hair came out from behind one of the shelves, balancing a camera, a notebook, and a shopping basket in his hands.

"Well well well, so you're the new girl. Saw you with the Mrs. and the brat." He smiled apologetically to show that he'd shaker her hand if his was free, but she skittered away from him, eyes wide. "What luck I frickin' tell ya? Shopping for my own brats, and I see you three here. I was going to go for Gilmore, but then I realized that you were HER, the Nanny!"

"I'm not sleeping with him I don't know what you're talking about Rory is amazing!" she blurted out. Chester had been keeping up with American entertainment news far better than her, and the two had been shocked to discover the scandal. Being the innocent young adults that they were, neither had ever assumed Jess might try anything with Tana. 'How unfortunate!' was the extent of their thought process, and Tana thought no less of either of her employers for the story. But she knew enough to deny the question she heard in the man's pseudo-friendly voice.

"A little quick to deny. There are some questions I'd like to ask you, miss..."

"Miss Turner. Elizabeth Turner. That's my name. No, I didn't take it from a movie. It's on my driver's license, but I forgot it."

"Tana, did you get lost?" Rory's playful voice came from down the aisle.

"Everything's fine! No need to venture further! Why don't you take Janey for ice cream?" she said in a high, panicked voice. Rory had given her a paycheck, a roof over her head, excellent meals prepared normally by another employee, and a fantastic job. The least she could do was defend her. If only she knew what that entailed. Rory turned the corner, and her smile fell to a nasty frown.

"Stop bothering her, she has nothing to do with this." The shopping basket clattered to the floor as he frantically snapped photos of Rory with the New Nanny! 'Rory closely watches new recruit' the headlines said the next day. But for the moment, Rory took Tana's elbow.

"You know, I just remembered. Jane has a white jumper, and if we put Jess' good red shirt in the wash with it, it will turn pink."

"So creative! You're brilliant Rory! Jess is yours!" Trying not to giggle at Tana's deer-in-the-headlights manner, she steered her away, the man snapping photos the whole time. He followed them as they paid and got into a cab, waving jovially as it drove off.

"I'm so so sorry, Rory! I was terrified, so I don't know what I said!"

"You didn't say anything, sweetie. Even when you think you're being interrogated, you still couldn't lie."

"I swear, there's nothing between me and Jess!"

"I know, girly. I'm not worried. You can calm down now."

"Uh no, I think I need my inhaler for that." Rory sighed.

"We're heading home now. You're not going to keel over on me, are you?"

"I hope not!" Rory rubbed her back.

"Let's get you ladies home."

"Mommy, can I come visit grandma Lorelai with you?"

"Mommy won't be back until tomorrow morning, dewdrop. Too long for Janey." Jane crossed her arms and pouted, her lower lip almost on her chin. She periodically kicked at the seat in front of them in a mini-tantrum. Tana breathed loudly. The cabbie kept his eyes on the back seat, as if thinking she'd turn into an ordinary person at any moment, and he wouldn't be able to tell people he drove that skanky lass from Jersey Girls around, the one whose husband was a douchebag.

After unloading their purchases pre-Kids-R-Us out of the car, Rory said goodbye to Tana and Jane, climbed into their beloved DeSoto, and headed for New York New York. Lorelai was probably mad...but more than likely wouldn't even reach Christopher levels. This was something she was very thankful about.


	17. No more Happy Gilmore

**Good news: Super-duper long chapter! Yay!**

**Bad news: Just a few more chapters left, guys. **

**Sunsetstars02: Yikes! Thank you for pointing out my oopsie. **

"Rory! I'm so sorry baby!" Babette called out as she passed her in the lobby of her parent's building.

"I never liked Jess much," Kirk commented from his sleeping bag in the stairwell.

"I know a good attorney, honey. Just say the word," Patty ran out of her apartment to tell her.

"Have you seen Kirk? And I couldn't believe when I heard! It's too bad," Lulu commented as she rushed past her down the hall carrying a Tupperware container. Rory nodded at all of them, saying nothing. She had steeled herself coming here, knowing ahead of time that everyone in the building, most of whom she'd known as she entered adulthood and dated Jess, would have condolences. She hadn't wanted people to know. She hadn't wanted the condolences of people who didn't know the whole story. But, even as she smiled patiently, seething with annoyance, there was something freakishly comforting about not having to fake it anymore. She didn't have to act like the Happy Gilmore. She could rant about whatever she wanted, and be moody as much as she liked, without worrying that her behavior would be reported on.

"Men suck!" she screamed happily, enjoying this new freedom much more than she could have expected.

"Sing it, sister!" Patty screamed back. Rory laughed, letting go of some of the tension she'd carried since the parking garage. They meant well. It was sweet of them to care, really. She hummed a little ditty she'd heard on one of Riley's educational videos, pushing the buzzer next to the Danes' door. Lorelai's grim face greeted her smile confusedly. She would have bet money that Rory wouldn't be smiling for a while. She didn't know that a burden had just been lifted. Rory had somewhere along the line become bogged down by burdens, what with her job, her family, her kids, her husband, the people who worked for her, the life of an actress, and whatnot other things.

"Hey there you," Lorelai tried to be equally happy as she let her daughter in and wrapped her in a friendly hug.

"Hiya momma. Where are the boys?" Luke came down the hall carrying Matti at that moment, whom Rory swooped down on with a coo.

"Baby brother! Oh how Rory missed you!" Luke looked at his wife, bewildered. Lorelai shrugged, and made the coo-coo sign with her hand.

"Hey Luke, nice shirt. It's not flannel for once."

"Yea, your mother dropped every last one, including the ones that I haven't worn in years, at the new dry cleaner's down the street."

"There's a new dry cleaner's?"

"One that Taylor has tested, and declared unusable." Taylor had the habit of reviewing all businesses in the area, and posting his results in the lobby. The other residents teased him and whined about his stuffiness, and used his tips when he wasn't looking.

"Mind you, he declared it unusable two weeks before she decided to do laundry. And one week before she shopped." Rory winked at her mother.

"I've done that before, though it was with biker pants."

"Jess once owned biker pants?" Lorelai asked with a gleam in her eye, before catching herself. "I'm not surprised; he has horrendous taste." Rory rolled her eyes as she put Matti down and headed for the kitchen, him toddling happily after his doting sister. She grabbed a bottle of flavored water from the fridge, and sat on the counter as her parents came into the tiny room.

"Give it up. I refuse to take part in the Jess-bashing party, so if that's the only reason I'm over here tonight, I think I'll steal this water and leave."

"Jess where?" Matti inquired about his big brother.

"Very far away, where he will remain, sweets," Lorelai commented offhandedly to her son.

"Mom," Rory warned.

"Just because you like him again doesn't mean I have to." She crossed her arms and looked stubbornly at her daughter. It was kind of frustrating; Matti would do anything she asked, adoring her the whole time. She couldn't tell Rory to do anything anymore. Rory was grown. Rory was on her own. Rory hadn't made the best choices, and that was what frustrated her; that she couldn't call Jess's mom to pick him up, and forbid them from playing together ever again. She could do no forbidding where Jess and Rory were concerned.

"You don't have to like him. But can we refrain from arguing about him tonight, please?" Lorelai sighed.

"If we must. I rented Sophie's Choice to watch tonight."

"Good pick!" Tap dancing around the subject, they together put Matti to bed, gathered pillows and blankets from around the apartment, and readied themselves for a sleepover in front of the TV. Like old times.

"Do you girls need anything?" Luke asked, coming into the living room in pajamas. No flannel, though.

"You're going to bed already, babe?" Lorelai asked. They hadn't even started the movie yet, and were still at the popping and pouring stage.

"Your girls' nights are my go-to-bed early nights. I like them very much. Very peaceful, and I wake up extremely well rested."

"Are you saying I keep you awake?" Lorelai asked, mock-appalled. She even put her hand over her heart for added affect. Rory chuckled as Luke refrained from exchanging witty banter, and just went into the bedroom. After they had both changed into t-shirts of Lorelai's, turned off the lights, and begun to watch, a door creaked down the hall.

"Busted, Matti. Back to bed, mister," Lorelai called. The door closed with a snap. "He's so easy to outmaneuver," Lorelai chirped. Ten minutes later, as Leslie uttered the word 'Fuck' for what had to be the tenth time, Rory became aware of breathing on the back of her neck. Turning her head around quickly from her upright position against the back of the couch, she saw her brother crouching down, his eyes shining in the darkness.

"Mom, it appears you've been severely outmaneuvered."

"What?" Lorelai looked. "You so didn't hear those words!" Rory carried him back to bed.

"You stay here, bucko. Mom's gonna be upset if you come out again. Big people movie."

"I'm big," he said, making a muscle.

"Very impressive. But do you know what the word...halitosis means?"

"Nope."

"Well, you're not very big yet, are you?"

"I guess not. Ni-ni Rory."

"Ni-ni, Matti. For real this time." She closed his door and found Lorelai standing in the hall, eavesdropping.

"Picking up mommy tips," she explained. Rory snorted. "What does halitosis mean, anyway?"

"It means Lorelai isn't old enough for this movie."

"Oh fuck. And I so wanted to see the ending for the seventh time."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

After the credits had rolled, Lorelai and Rory sat across from each other on the floor, a light on a table near them illuminating the Tarot cards spread in front of them.

"You messed it up again. You're missing a card," Rory pointed out.

"I'm doing a different spread, doofus."

"Where's the book?"

"No, not the book. We decided we were going to learn how to do this without always consulting the book."

"You shuffled them this way on purpose. Most of them are upside down."

"That isn't always bad."

"Mom, you're messing with my fate. Remember last time when you pre-selected the prettiest cards for good luck?" Lorelai's eyes widened humorously.

"I gave you the fertility card!"

"This is so your fault, lady," Rory said as she indicated her stomach. Lorelai pushed the cards out of the way to scootch closer, and pat the tummy.

"What are you going to name my grandbaby?"

"We don't even know the gender yet, mom. It's only been a few weeks. And I think you angered the fates by doing that."

"You should name it after me."

"Then I'd be naming it after myself, and I can't think of another nickname for Lorelai."

"Lori."

"Rory and Lori? It's so cute it makes me sick."

"Lora."

"It's still similar."

"My Lai."

"...no comment. No comment, mom."

"Fine, maybe that was pushing it a little. But I started the tradition! The least thing you could do for your wonderful mother is continue her dream."

"Don't we have some maternal grandmother who started it?"

"She was named Lorelai, but she didn't name anyone that."

"So technically, it was your mother who started it."

"NO! It's my thing. She can't have it."

"Is it to late to be logical?"

"Yes. It is."

"Then by golly, I accept your answer." They dug a box of fudge out of Lorelai's stash behind the radiator (very dangerous) and ate it piece-by-piece, gossiping about the residents of the Starrshallau.

"Okay, so Patty and Taylor? They were drunk at a charity ball, and did some handsy-stuff in the elevator. Babette saw it, and prolonged the stories. It wasn't much of anything, and Patty is semi-embarassed, but takes our teasing in stride. Taylor SPAZZED OUT, and personally called on everyone who had the ability to know, threatening to slaughter their own public reputations should they muss his with this little bit of weirdness." Rory giggled.

"That's gross, but cute."

"Exactly what I said!"

"How are Sookie and Jackson?"

"Same as always. Lovable. Strange. Lovable. Strange."

"Glad to know things don't get topsy-turvy here when I leave. Lane and Dave?"

"Haven't seen much of them or the boys lately, though Zack's wife is being a bitch, and he asked me to be his date to an awards show."

"Did you say yes?"

"I would have, but Matti has a school play that night. He will be portraying a potato."

"Ooh, I want to go! Write down the time and place."

"Will do. Let's see who else...Babette and Morey had a huge fight last month. She threw some of his stuff out the window, and they got fined hugely because apparently it caused some minor traffic casualties. I thought they'd get arrested, but it turns out the cop's father was once married to Patty, and the relation helped them slide."

"Is there anyone in New York who hasn't married Patty?"

"You and me. I think that's it. She's got her eye on Matti- always wants to babysit him."

"I'm sure those are her intentions."

"And she has a weird fixation with Luke's butt. I'd be offended if I weren't so proud."

"What about Kirk? I saw him in the stairwell on my way up here."

"Why did you take the stairs?"

"The elevator was out." Lorelai grinned. "He had something to do with that, didn't he?"

"It's out right now because they are 'disinfecting' it. He and Lulu were doing...inappropriate things on the elevator. Yes, I know there's a camera. It's what's kept me from jumping Luke all these years. But they did, and Charleston found out about it, and they are banned from the elevator for the rest of the YEAR." Charleston was the stuffy old head of building management. Everyone hated him, but loved the building and their neighbors. Besides, he'd be dying soon anyway. So they stuck. "To protest about having to use the stairs, at least once the elevator gets up and going again, he has decided not to leave them until Charleston caves. He moves to a different floor every day, to find which has the most traffic, so he can more effectively clog it. I for one think it's the bottom floor, but he refused to listen to my untested opinions. Lulu is bringing him food and fanmail." After his children's show was cancelled (apparently it scared younger kids) he had become a recording artist for children's ditties. Come to think of it, that was probably what Rory had been humming earlier...

"So...I saw Jess's interview," Lorelai started a few minutes later.

"You promised we wouldn't mention him."

"Bunny, my head has been read to burst with questions since I saw it. I need to know some stuff, even if you don't want to tell me." Rory sighed and snuggled down into the couch that had once sat in the living room she'd shared with Lorelai.

"He told the truth. And I was ticked off at the time, but I think it was for the best."

"Even...even the using alcohol to cope part?" Rory shrugged.

"I don't have an addiction or anything, if that's what you're getting at."

"I didn't say that!" Lorelai rushed. "I mean, I've had many a fight with Luke where polishing off a bottle of wine was part of the unavoidable aftermath. But the way Jess said it, it didn't sound like it was something you did when you were pushed to the max. It sounded like it was everyday coping. He mentioned emotional issues. And he tried to blame you for the Mina thing. And he said she was the third! Did you know that?"

"Of course. I know what Jess was up to. And he was right- I'm not faultless."

"You knew what he was doing? And you never said anything?"

"I caught him with Shane, and with Mina. And I always had the feeling in my gut that there was something going on with Jenna, even though I had no proof."

"See, Rory, I'm trying to think of in what situation I'd let Luke slide by with having three affairs under my attentive nose. And the only one that I can think of- I'm sorry Bunny- is if I was too into the drinking to care. I know you're telling me you don't have a problem, and I know I know practically none of the details, but I don't understand how you could almost always be in your right mind, and not care. You keep saying you love Jess."

"And I do. Dad came over the other night with a vendetta, and just the thought of losing Jess scared me to death."

"Okay. Okay, let me get my head around this. You love your husband. Your husband who apparently loves you back, even though that didn't stop him from sleeping with multiple girls down the hall from your bedroom. And you knew about this, but didn't care enough to deter its happening."

"I fired each of them. Of course I cared," Rory interjected.

"Obviously not enough if you let it go on." Lorelai winced at the accusing tone of her voice. This wasn't how she'd planned this conversation to go at all. She just wanted to know what was going on in her daughter's life.

"I hated it, but I didn't think I had the right to say anything."

"You're his wife!"

"I'm a horrible wife. I was mean to him, I was indifferent to him, I didn't care what was going on in his life. I withheld everything from him. I didn't trust him with my problems. I treated him like crap. He at least deserved a little cold comfort after dealing with me, and that was something I couldn't and wouldn't give him."

"And what if he picked up any diseases from these hoebags?"

"Come on, mom. Jess isn't that stupid. I was helping Kathy clean up one day, and the garbage basket in her room had condoms in it."

"You never know."

"Mom, Jess wouldn't put me in harm's way. If there was a chance he had something, he would have made sure I knew."

"But-"

"I will not discuss Jess's devotion. Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Lorelai thought. And thought. And yawned. And thought.

"You said something about your dad?"

"Yea, he showed up with a baseball bat, and scared Jess. Well, he scared us both, but Jess was having flashbacks from Liz's admirers. I told Chris I didn't want to see him for a very long time, and if I see him before a very long time has passed, I'm going to go hormonal on him."

"I've seen that. It's not pretty," Lorelai teased. She had been pregnant with Matti at the same time as Rory with Jane, and the two had driven Luke and Jess up and down walls with their combined emotional instability.

"It won't be. But I don't want to be pushed that far. I hope he just heeds me."

"We have no idea of knowing. Chris is unpredictable." They mused silently, thinking of the on-and-off absence in their lives. It wasn't as poignant as it had once been. Both had found a new male figure to depend upon, and forge a partnership with. Though Rory's wasn't entirely stable.

"I was really shocked when I heard what Jess said. I thought I knew more about your life. I thought you trusted me to let me know when there were problems," Lorelai said quietly after awhile.

"If I could vocalize what was wrong, I would. And I will. I don't want to have to keep things bottled up anymore. I'm like Arthur Dimmesdale – I think I like my sins out in the open."

"I guess that's good if it makes you happy. I didn't expect you to be this happy, especially so soon after Jess's bare-all. But you are. Just don't carve any letters into your skin, because that's weird."

"I promise. Jess and I have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow, so maybe I'll have a better idea of what's wrong after that. I'll let you know."

"Thank you, Bunny." They went to sleep soon after, much left unsaid, but much more having been said than in past days.

The next morning, Rory got up early to drive back home, and kissed each of her family members goodbye.

"Good luck reclaiming the clothes, Luke. Though if I must say it, I think you look quite handsome in cotton."

"Don't go all Oedipus on my guy," Lorelai reprimanded playfully from the other side of the kitchen where she was helping Matti pick out a cereal. He was having a hard time deciding between some granola kind, and Grape Nuts. "Luke, what have you done to my son? He won't eat Coco Puffs or Lucky Charms."

"Need I remind you that he is my son as well? Maybe my genes are just beginning to activate."

"But he loves the hearts, stars, and horseshoes. I don't understand what's wrong. He's never been so...nutritional."

"Bagel," Matti said with finality. His parents stared. He shrugged. "I wanna bagel." While Luke prepared the chosen breakfast, and Lorelai began putting all the cereal boxes back in their cupboard, Rory came over to assist her.

"I'll call you sometime in the next few days."

"Thanks, Bun. I appreciate it." She kissed the back of her mother's head.

"Bye Luke. Bye Matti!"

"Bye Rory! Bring Jess and Jane and Wiley!"

"Riley, Matti. My son's name is Riley."

"I said Wiley!" Rory surrendered and left, passing Kirk at the entrance to the stairwell.

"Good luck with the protesting, Kirk."

"Rory, have you ever had intercourse in an elevator? It's good stuff." She wrinkled her nose.

"I can't say that I have, but I'll keep it in mind."

Back in the apartment on the thirteenth floor, Matti was eating his bagel in front of the TV, while Lorelai talked to Luke in the kitchen in a hushed voice.

"She said the interview was spot-on, but she didn't sound that upset."

"Can I please go beat Jess up? Just a little?"

"NO; Chris already tried that, and Rory is furious. I don't want her hating you."

"Can I just threaten him?"

"No. Get over it; they can solve their problems on their own, and if they need violent intervention, they'll ask for it."

"They're not the best as solving problems, apparently. Prolonging perhaps."

"Rory said they're off to see the shrink today. See? They're trying." He opened his mouth. "Whatever you're about to say, no. They are adults. We are staying out of this unless otherwise asked, and we probably won't be asked."

"I was just going to say that she didn't look as upset as she has in recent weeks." Lorelai nodded as she turned and headed for the living room.

"Yea. I noticed that too. I think there's hope for her and Jess yet."


	18. The Doctor is In

**petitos grasshoppertje – After I wrote a reply to you this morning, I decided to go have a look at my story, and it turned out that this chapter was far more done than I thought it was. A few hours alone with the computer and a DVD player showing glorious season 2 episodes, and here we go. **

**kessemm – Not a large chance for a sequel. I suppose I could always come back to it later on…no, I don't want to install false hope. I think I'm done. **

**Sunsetstars02 – Thank you again for your help. I was completely mortified when I realized my literary mistake.**

**Well, my pretties, this is the second-to-last chapter. I'm sad too. But kinda happy. I'm not sure it turned out at all like I wanted it to; this is probably due to the fact that I lost interest in it a while ago. But my reviewers have been so great that they keep bringing me back to it, and here we are. Thanks to all. **

Rory had forgotten to bring a book for the waiting room, so she peeked over Jess's shoulder at the worn copy of the Grapes of Wrath. He moved to turn a page she hadn't finished reading, and she swatted his hand away with a frown. Sighing, he handed the book over to her. She expressed her gratitude by settling back into her chair happily, smiling at the pages of familiar words.

"Mr. and Mrs. Mariano," a tiny, rude man announced from behind an impressive counter. The only ones in the waiting room, they stood up together, and Jess took her arm and led her towards the office, her eyes never leaving the page.

There was no couch as Jess had teased. Instead, the room was painted solid white, with furniture all different shades of blue. Even the desk was blue. Short of a phone, there was no technology of any kind in sight, computers or televisions. A sky-blue armchair sat in front of a dark blue loveseat, with a small, dark-haired woman perched on the armchair, flipping through an oversized book.

"Jess and Rory?" she asked without looking up.

"Dr. Bigley?"

"Well, now that we're all acquainted, have a seat on the ridiculously tiny couch." Taking the book away from Rory and slipping it into his pocket, Jess sat down, followed by his wife. The doctor still didn't look up.

"Um, we're paying you by the hour," Jess finally said.

"Why else would I be using this time to catch up on my reading?" Rory squinted her eyes at the rudeness sitting in front of her, while Jess scoffed. "Or was this an urgent thing?" She finally looked up. With a sigh, she put the book down. Art of the Italian Renaissance was visible on the navy blue coffee table an arm's length away from her.

"I take it you're both familiar with the Davids of Donatello and Michelangelo?" Silence. "Donatello's is made of Bronze. It holds a sword, with the head of Goliath at his feet. He much more resembles a little boy. The more popular one, made of marble, is obviously a man. He's very ostentatious, almost like a male model."

"I'm sorry, but what does this have to do with us, Dr. Bigley?"

"It's Drella. The psych books all say to establish a personal relationship with your clients." She waved her hand around in the air, as if demonstrating her flagrant disregard for most of the psych book rules. "First name, please. Now, I was talking about two very different sculptures of the same person, of the same scene. But their artists have interpreted him so differently. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Yes, we know the statues. But we came here to be counseled. It took a lot for me to make this appointment, but you're wasting our time now," Rory huffed. Drella shrugged.

"I have a point. Which statue do you prefer?" Baffled, Rory and Jess exchanged a glance.

"Donatello," Rory finally said with a shrug, just as Jess muttered "Michelangelo." Drella grinned.

"Rory, let's start with you? Why?" she asked with a vicious grin. She took pleasure in unraveling her patients.

"I don't know. He looks more like a person, instead of, like you said, a model. But he's not posing or anything, he's just...I don't know. Better?"

"Jess? Why do you not share in your lovely wife's opinion?" Rory glared at the woman. The compliment did not come across in the husky voice.

"He's not a wimp. He looks the part of a hero." Drella cackled.

"So, as you can see, very different things appeal to the two of you. Jess prefers the ideal. Rory, have you been the ideal wife as of late?"

"No..."

"So this pushed him away, unbeknownst to the both of you. Making him harder to reach. And Rory, you prefer real things, tangible things, things you have attained. Do you think this could stress things if Jess were to become more distant?"

"Yea..." Drella crossed her legs, and picked up a notebook to begin jotting things down in.

"Let's begin."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Two hours later, exhausted, wide-eyed, limply holding hands, Rory and Jess exited Drella's office. Jess had given the secretary Drella had nastily referred to as Rune the financial information he asked for while Rory stared off into space.

"Do you want to drive?" Jess asked her, talking directly to her for the first time since they'd left the office. She shook her head dreamily. "So that was enlightening," he made a stab at conversation as they were heading back home. She nodded. "Do you feel glad we went?" She shrugged. "Are you hungry?" he asked, changing tactics.

"A little," she said in a small voice.

"What do you want?"

"You pick." Jess raised his eyebrows. Even on her bad days, Rory loved food so much that she wanted an input. Then he grinned.

"How 'bout we decide as a team?" She had to smile at that, lowering her head and letting hair fall into her face as she recalled the psychiatrist's words.

"I think you enjoyed getting your head shrunk."

"I think it will help. Do you want sustenance, or a treat?"

"Treat. Do you want a deli or a grill?"

"Deli. Familiar or adventure?"

"Adventure!" she grinned.

"Okay, I have no idea where we are in relation to anything, so the next promising exit, we're getting off and finding us some sandwiches." She smiled at him, and turned the radio on. NPR serenaded their ears until Jess pulled into a parking lot next to Andy's Dandy Deli. Taking her hand more tightly than before now that the after affects of two full hours of Drella breaking every inexplicable problem of theirs down into textbook explanations had begun to wear off in the immediate, they opened the door to a tinkling bell.

She ordered an Italian sub, and he took a meatball sandwich. Sitting in an empty corner and looking at the black and white photos of what Andy's Dandy had been like back in the day, their eyes locked as they chewed, and they found themselves unable to look away.

"I love you," she said out of the blue. He wrinkled his eyebrows. She shrugged. "I just felt like I had to say it. I've been thinking about it for a while, and it got to the point where I knew if I didn't vocalize it right then, I'd choke on it."

"I love you too. Even when you're being moody and bitchy and depressed and mopey."

"That's good. Because that's what I do."

"It's not your fault. Drella said-"

"I know what Drella said. Postpartum depression, separation issues, feelings of mediocrity spurred by a flashy lifestyle, Chris being a prick, stubbornness to vocalize problems, career stress, shyness, PMS gone wrong, jealousy, horrible coping habits. Anything I'm forgetting?"

"Perfectionism. And when things aren't perfect, anxiety problems."

"See, it makes me sound like a basket case. But if you analyze them all, there's NOTHING in there that each and every person on this planet doesn't have. When Drella pointed them out, they all seemed like serious problems. But they're not. They're part of life. Everyone else can deal. For some reason, I just can't. So disregard them all. I'm not strong enough to deal. That's our problem."

"Hey, it's not like I'm perfect. She threw that book at me when I was talking about the girls. I don't even think that's legal, but she made it very clear that you're not alone in this. That's why we both were there. If you were the only screwed up one, I'd have sent you on your own."

"But everyone is screwed up! Why are we the ones who were falling apart?"

"WERE falling apart, Rory. We got our acts together. We're pulling through. We're going to keep pulling through – together. As a team. Like she said with that smarmy smirk, quoting a psych book."

"She was a character, wasn't she?" Rory asked after a minute. Jess had to laugh.

"She was very interesting. Do you want to go see her again sometime?"

"I never want to subject myself to that woman again. Lets. It was good for us."

"I'll make an appointment in a few months. Maybe we'll be doing better by then." She nodded, and returned to her sandwich, feeling more at ease now. He watched her eat, for a while, just admiring her. She shined when she was happy.

"Hey Rory? Can you promise me something?"

"What is it?"

"No more alcohol. It started as a way to solve little problems, and made them big." She thought about it.

"Never ever?"

"Well, how about not in the house? At social events sure, maybe I'll take you to a nicer bar every now and then. But if that habit gets up again...we might both fold." She swallowed a large piece of bread.

"No more girls. Never ever."

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Okay. Deal."

"And let's...keep the lines clear. If we don't talk about stuff, we'll drift again."

"Agreed. We should do more stuff, just the two of us. France was nice, but we should go out every once in a while. Not to a publicity thing, but dinner and a movie or something. We haven't in almost a year."

"Good idea." He brushed the crumbs from his hands, and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"And Jess?" He stopped fidgeting with his trash. "I think...I think I can be happy with me, and with you, if I try. I've never tried very hard. You have to help me try. It's the only way this will work."

"I'll try. I promise you, I will try my hardest to keep you happy and healthy." She smiled at him and reached across the dirty table to take his hand. He saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes.

"This is crazy. We were so fucked up...and we're so not now. Damn, she was good."

"You know this wasn't the shrink, Rory. She didn't solve any problems. She just apparently motivated you to solve them."

"Yea, I suppose."

"I know. I think it's a combination of my coming clean, of talking to Drella, of being pregnant, and of having a continuously sober mind...but this is you. You know you don't need to pretend. You know you can have the real thing if you just try."

"We'll see." She stood up to leave, and deposited her napkins and plate in the trash receptacle nearest them.

"We will." He couldn't resist tipping her chin up to kiss her as they left the deli, the little bell above the door tinkling goodbye.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"_I'm going to miss you so much, Mom," she sobbed into Lorelai's shoulder. The older woman patted her back comfortingly. _

"_Chin up, Bunny. You'll be so busy procreating with Rabbit that you won't notice I'm gone...Oh my God! Bunny and Rabbit! Procreating! I didn't know I was so clever! This is the first I've realized that!" Rory laughed out of courtesy at her mother, but nothing inside her saw this occasion as one with room for joy. She'd lived with Lorelai her entire life, and even when her mother moved upstairs with Luke, she'd been a short walk away. Even in a towel, the journey could be made easily. But she was moving to another state now. Damn realtors; she and Jess were from Jersey Girls, so they'd made every attempt to move them to New Jersey. The shore was lovely; their house would be a castle for them to grow old in together, with little bunny rabbits. But today was not a day to look forward to the future. Today was a day to remember the past, and clutch onto it, refusing to let go. _

"_Ror, we should get going soon so we can get up early and hit the antique stores." _

"_Why antique stores?"_

"_Rory vetoed the modern idea. We're going old school deco." _

"_I'm moving in with you," Lorelai joked. _

"_Yes!" Rory muttered into her shoulder. Lorelai and Jess laughed. She shot an angry glance towards her husband of four days – didn't he know how hard this was for her? No; he didn't. He was as happy-go-lucky as could be about getting married and moving away. She didn't understand. These weren't things you did for fun; these were huge milestones in life. She had had so many doubts about getting married, going so far as to write the runaway-bride note, before burning it and showing up anyway with a sinking feeling in her stomach. She was signing her life away. Jess didn't seem to care. She did. And though she was as romanticized as the next girl by the thought of happily ever after, the greedy part of her kicked and screamed when she became Jess's legal and spiritual partner. It didn't want a partner. It wanted just Rory. _

_She gulped when she realized what she was feeling. They were still newlyweds! This time was supposed to be all about rose petals and writing thank-yous! What was wrong with her? She loved Jess; she should just say goodbye to Lorelai and ride off into the sunset with him. _

_The problem was, she would later realize, that she didn't particularly want to do either of those things._

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Now was different. Now she knew what she wanted. She would always have separation anxiety in regards to Lorelai, but she had two children, and another on the way, to bestow benefits of the maternal bond on. And she was still iffy about having signed her life away, but there was so much to be gained by having done that. Maybe it had taken a few years of her fears and frustrations manifesting themselves, but she was positive now that she certainly did want to be Jess's wife in their house by the sea, with their lifestyle and their children and their hang-ups and their excelling areas. She wanted it now. And she hoped it would make the difference between being miserable, and being able to be content.


	19. Six months later

**petitos grasshoppertje – Yea, I think writing old Jess wouldn't be very pretty. **

**Alas, all things must come to an end. I enjoyed writing this story for the most part, and I thank all of you for reading. I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on the story as a whole, or just this chapter. **

Jess entered the room with a sigh. He knew she knew that it could harm the baby only a month-and-a-half from being born, but she hadn't cared lately. And she wouldn't listen when he asked her politely to give it up, when he firmly requested that she break the habit, and when he informed her that as the husband and father, he was telling her not to do it again. She still refused to listen to him, and had gotten quite angry with the last one. And that is where they found themselves at 1:31 on a Saturday morning, in the former pure white guest room that they had converted into a navy blue nursery for their expected infant. Him standing heavily in the door, her tracing little yellow stars from a stencil to the wall with a thin paintbrush.

"Rory, for the thousandth time, the paint fumes are bad for Peter." She looked up at him with a sheepish smile.

"I'm trying not to inhale too deeply." He rolled his eyes, and ran a hand through his messy hair with a yawn.

"Come back to bed. You both need sleep."

"But we don't have much time left, and it needs more stars."

"It HAD stars. You were the one who decided to repaint the wall a darker color, and start again with the stars."

"They were messy before, and it looked like a girly room. This time I'm not doing them freehand, and we know the sex now."

"There's still more than seven weeks before the due date. Why, why, why do we keep having to get up in the middle of the night for your impromptu painting sessions?"

"I want everything to be perfect when he gets here." She got to her feet a little stiffly with the help of a chair. Halfway through her third trimester, she was looking very pregnant indeed, but it somehow didn't mar her figure. She was still slender little Rory underneath the baby pounds. Jess' eyes traveled over her form with a mixture of pride and annoynance.

"Please let me do it. If the paint fumes don't make him dizzy, you holding your breath will."

"Not a chance in the bad place; you helped with the first set of stars. Mama's taking over this time around." He crossed his arms, tired. He really just wanted to get back to bed, and get her away from the nursery. He'd have to hold out on the first one for a little while to accomplish the second, though.

So he closed the door behind him, sat in the old rocking chair they'd pulled out of Riley's room the previous week, and watched her paint for about twenty minutes, focusing on the way she bit the side of her lip in concentration as she painted with her right hand, the left protectively holding her stomach, as if trying to coax out of Peter an opinion concerning what would be his room.

Peter Wesley Mariano. That was the name they'd finally agreed upon, after months of pouring over books. They had resorted to books this time for the first time. Jane Elizabeth had been born from an Austen novel on the nightstand at the time of conception, and a name in the Danes family that was now present in every generation. Riley was the name of a waiter who used to work at a coffee shop the couple had visited almost daily for a summer, and they had been offhandedly talking about what a nice name it was with him one day. Of course, that was the day Rory missed her period. Charles was an old Gilmore name. Now they had run out of family names, and fate didn't step in to lend a hand. Jane had become obsessed with The Princess Bride lately, though, and had begged her parents to name her baby brother Wesley. A nice name, but it wouldn't really suffice for a first name, they'd thought. No offense meant to anyone named Wes out there, but they had agreed that it would be his middle name, and grudgingly dug out the baby name books people had been giving them all along the pregnancies. It got petty, immature, and almost violent for a while there. They'd flipped coins, drawn cards, and rolled dice, circling or crossing out names according to the numbers rolled. It was ridiculous, but no other names were falling into their laps from above. Until the name Peter had been crossed out in three books within fifteen minutes. Divine interference, telling them that they were being dumb, and here was a name already. The method and results were treated as a joke at first, but they'd quickly grown into it. Peter. Our son, Peter. The baby, Peter. The kids' brother, Peter.

Jess' loud yawn broke the contemplative/creative silence.

"Honey, go to bed. I'll be there in like five minutes."

"My ass. I'm staying here until you come back with me." She sighed and spread her hands. One of them had the paintbrush in it. Jess prayed that no miniscule amount of paint had flicked off the brush onto the warm blue of the wall. She'd have a fit.

"This is why I snuck out of bed; so as not to disturb you."

"What disturbs me is that you're obsessing about this. And that I'm going to have to boot up my evil computer tomorrow to re-re-reprint out the site on why paint fumes are bad for the baby, because you've taken and destroyed my previous copies, which I only printed out for YOUR benefit, loving husband that I am."

"I'm not huffing it, Jess. I'm just painting. Cheese and rice." Sighing, Jess lifted himself from the slightly wavering chair with his arms, and took the paintbrush from her hand. "Hey!" He bent down and scooped her up as she issued a little shriek. "Unhand me, mister!"

"It's past your bedtime, little girl. And you'll wake up the kids."

"Jess! I need to paint!" By this point, they were already exiting the room. Her bare feet dragged against the white and gold striped wallpaper on the hall walls, as she squirmed in protest. "How are you doing this? Me and the baby? You're a small guy, Jess," she hissed quietly as they passed Riley's silent room.

"If it's any consolation, my biceps are in great pain right now. As is my self-image."

"I'm having your baby, and you won't even let me paint a few stars on the wall. I don't like this controlling side of you," she scolded lightly.

"Rory, I'm putting you to bed, because A. It's good for you and the baby, and B. Because you're the one who wanted to have your family over tomorrow, and if you're cranky, you'll blame me for 'letting you stay up so late.'"

"No, I won't."

"There's precedent, honey." He pushed their door open with his backside, and repeated the movement once they were inside.

"What time is it?"

"1:42."

"That's not that late. Party boy like you, this is early in fact." Jess laughed as he deposited her gracefully on the bed, taking care not to jostle her stomach.

"I think my party boy days were over the first time a baby spit up on me." He circled the bed and climbed in on his side, shedding his pants as he did so.

"Hold your horses, buster. Weren't you just telling me I needed to get to sleep?" He rolled his eyes as he switched off the light on the stand next to him.

"I'm hot from carrying you all the way down the hall. Close your eyes." Rory obeyed as he pulled their soft comforter over her body, and felt first his hair, then his skin as he cozied up to her shoulder, draping an arm over her belly. She smiled at the comfort he offered by such a simple gesture, and waited until she felt his breathing slow to the point where, after over six years of sleeping with him, she knew for a fact that he was asleep. Then, with the stealth she had acquired after much practice, she slipped out from under his arm, out of bed, and down the hallway to the nursery, where she resumed her painting.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Rory hugged her mother as Lorelai entered their foyer, with Luke and Matti in tow.

"Hi!"

"Hi! Luke made his famous cheesy bread, and I brought it!"

"Sounds delicious, I wish Jess could cook." He playfully scowled at her from where he was standing in the entryway to the dining room, leaning against it and holding Jane. She stuck her tongue out at him as she took the bread from Lorelai, and led them towards the back of the house. "Dad and the girls are already here. He brought a new fiancée. Her name is Delilah. She's very pretty. But not as pretty as you," she answered the question Lorelai had just begun to open her mouth to ask. Lorelai beamed at her daughter in her salmon-pink maternity sundress.

"Can I touch the baby?" Matti asked hesitantly, ambling forward. They reached the kitchen, and Rory put the bread on the counter next to two different salads that Kathy was still adding seasoning to.

"Kathy, we've got cheesy bread! Go ahead, Matti." Her little brother smiled as he reached up and patted her stomach.

"Tana can't find Riley," Kathy commented as she took something out of a cupboard.

"Jess, go help her before she has another breakdown." Jess, who had followed them into the kitchen, put Jane down and headed for the back staircase. Rory opened the sliding door to the patio and walked out, followed by her mother, brother, and daughter. Luke stood in the middle of the room, looking at where Jess had disappeared from view.

"Is...that normal?"

"Not a day goes by without a rousing round of Where's Riley?" Luke nodded slowly, and followed the girls and Matti outside.

"Luke! Nice to see you again, buddy," Chris said as he held out a hand for Luke to shake. In a flowered cocktail dress, sitting in the seat next to him, was a wiry lady with wispy blonde hair, smiling at the new arrivals.

"Hi, you must be Delilah. I'm Lorelai, it's nice to meet you."

"You too." Finished with the customary introduction-to-Chris's-new-lady, Lorelai sat down next to her husband. The others joined them, and Lorelai and Rory kept up a running, light conversation until Tana and Jess came out of the house, carrying between them a toothpaste-covered little boy.

"Found him in our shower," he threw over his shoulder to Rory as he placed Riley in his boosterseat, and sat down beside him. Kathy joined the group at the chair closest to the door, ready to both serve and eat. And the family dug in.

A few weeks ago, Rory and Jess had celebrated (in unrepeatable ways) their sixth wedding anniversary, and the birth of their baby was less than two months away. Chris and his daughters had been unable to make it for two separate family dinners, so, ever the negotiator, he had proposed an intermediate date. Lorelai had much to say on this subject, such as that refusing to bump Nina's playdate to a different day so as to make time to see his eldest daughter and her husband was rude, to say the least. But Rory had asked her not to say it here. Chris wasn't fond of Jess, and Jess of Chris. The two did not like to be around each other, but Jess didn't purposely try to avoid Chris. Chris purposely tried to avoid Jess.

Six hours later, Rory was trying to help Kathy clean up from the early dinner, but the housekeeper found her assistance to be more of a hindrance than a help.

"Rory, go snuggle with Jess or something, you've already broken two dishes."

"No, I want to help you."

"Honey, that would be helping." Huffing, Rory threw down her towel and exited the kitchen. She found Jess in their library, trying to decide between Dickens and Dickinson.

"Kathy threw me out of the kitchen again," she said with a pout. He turned around with both volumes in hand to see her standing in the doorway, arms crossed.

"She has enough to do without having to clean up after you."

"It's not my fault mom didn't raise me to be kitchen-savy!"

"If you're looking for something to do, it's almost Janey's bedtime."

"Ug, I'm getting too big and sluggish to jump over furniture and chase that little girl in circles around the front yard."

"Rory, do we have strange children, or are they all that way?"

"It's your genes. I'm convinced of it." She plopped down onto the loveseat across from the gorgeous fireplace that they never used. He placed both books back on the shelf and joined her, slipping an arm around her shoulders.

"You snuck out of bed again last night, didn't you?" he whispered in her ear.

"Apparently my ninja-like stealth wasn't as stealthy as I thought it to be."

"You minx. It's bad for the baby. Probably WHY Riley and Jane are hyperactive little Houdinis."

"That can't be proven." He kissed her temple as he pulled away, and looked out the window facing the shoreline in the distance. They didn't live directly on the water, but it was only a short walk from the house to the sandy beach. Riley ate sand, and Jane always tried to dive under the waves despite the fact that she could not swim, so the family didn't get to visit the ocean as often as Rory and Jess would have liked. When they'd first moved in, they had frequently taken night strolls along the tide line, and continued to do so sometimes even after Jane was born. The habit had faded out when they lost touch with one another, and had not yet been picked up again.

"Ror, wanna go for a walk?" She was silent for a few moments, and then turned on him.

"Are you telling me I look fat?" With a laugh, he pulled her to her feet.

They loosely held hands as the sand moved beneath their feet, slowing down their progression.

"Today was nice," Rory said as they watched a wave break against the ground a few yards from them. "I like the girls. They're so adorable."

"They're alright. I prefer our girl."

"I can't believe she's going to be five soon."

"I can't believe we're going to be parents of three soon."

"I can; I've done almost all the baby shopping."

"And we've been married for six years. I never thought I'd get married, much less stay married for six years."

"Well, you were only faithful for three of those years," she commented offhandedly. She felt his fingers tighten on hers, then slacken to the point where he almost dropped her hand. She turned to him and used his arm to pull him into a hug.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't meant as an attack."

"I thought we agreed we weren't going to talk about that anymore."

"Jess, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about it, I just said it."

"Why do you have to do that? Things are going perfectly, and you bring that up. Are you trying to hurt me, or are you just lashing out subconsciously."

"I'm really doing neither, Jess. I just don't have a problem talking about it. I know it happened. There's no reason to pussyfoot around it."

"But I don't want to have to think about it. I don't want to have to remember on such a constant basis how much I don't deserve you." She pecked him on the lips.

"You did it; maybe you deserve to remember." He shook his head at her, wounded. "That came out wrong. I was a bitch to you during those years. I know I don't deserve you either. But I don't have a problem talking about it, because I trust you, and I know you won't judge me based on those years." He sighed, and wrapped his arms tight around her.

"I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, not the other way around."

"No, I don't deserve you."

"No, I don't deserve you."

"Aren't we cute?"

"Popularity would have a field day with this conversation."

"I'm still not rescinding my statement."

"Me neither." They resumed walking, arms still around each other.

"Hey Jess? As long as we're having a nauseating conversation, when did you know I was the one?"

"When I saw you run out of your bathroom in a tiny towel, screaming about a spider."

"You knew then?"

"Not at that exact point, but upon reflection, I feel that there's something special about when we met. Maybe my memory is messing with it, but I'm convinced that I had some sort of inkling or feeling at the time."

"Huh." She walked on with a smile. "That's strange."

"Why is it strange?"

"Because I hated you then."

"Then when did you know I was your knight in shining armor, Rory Mariano?"

"I don't even know. It was such a gradual thing."

"Aww, that pains me a little."

"It does not, you know I love you." She reached up for another kiss, but instead of it being a light brush like she had planned on, he held her head in place with his hand.

"I believe your cutting off my airflow is bad for the baby, Jess," she said once he himself stopped to take a breath.

"Huh. Then we probably shouldn't do that."

"Probably not." They waited a minute before resuming their activity, walking as they kissed, back towards the home where their kids were being put to bed at the moment by a very hassled Tana.

She thought about the weighted subject they had been discussing as they strolled onto their property. It was still hard, being a mom and a wife and a daughter and a sister and an employer and a boss and a public figure. Sometimes, it was so hard that she felt like a tension-filled balloon, ready to burst with the slightest prick. She had no idea how she'd been able to ward off pricks during these times. Maybe she was a stronger person than she'd given herself credit for. Or maybe it was all luck.

Of course, she thought, looking at Jess, sometimes it wasn't so hard. Sometimes things with Jess and the kids and her family just flowed, stemming from an unknown source, catching Rory happily in their waves as she drifted along complacently, peacefully. She'd been to see Drella twice since the fateful appointment, once with Jess, and once by herself. There were many things she still had yet to admit to herself. There were many things she'd discovered. But overall, in the past few months, she considered herself to be a job well done. She was learning how to redirect pressures and stress, and calm herself down during those tense moments. Maybe she'd burst in the future. Maybe she'd grow into keeping this positive outlook up. She didn't know. But if Jess had promised to stay by her side through thick or thin, through bursting or blossoming. And she had the warm feeling in her gut that he really would this time.

_The end. _


End file.
